“I do have it pretty easy! That is why I’m sticking with just the one!“

[placemat]

I went to the neighborhood playground earlier with my 2 year-old & there were 2 other moms there. One of the moms made a comment about how she didn’t know how I had “all that energy” (I was climbing & sliding w/ my daughter.) The other mom, who has met me before, said something like “Oh, she just has one. She still has it easy.”

They both laughed and said I’d be sitting on the bench with them after my second. I smiled at them and said, “I do have it pretty easy! That is why I’m sticking with just the one!” Y’all... you would have thought I pissed in their Corn Flakes. It made them so angry that I said it was easy and I was just agreeing with them! They then tried to tell me about how important siblings were and I made an awkward subject change by talking about the weather, lol.

Anyway, I am proud of the way I handled it. I think they meant “easy” to be an insult, but it isn’t one! Not to me anyway.

Disclaimer: “Easy” is pretty subjective. I have some days where just having one seems plenty hard! So no judgement if this is you!

 

[karenb53]

@placemat I love the saying "there is no reward for playing life on hard mode." I often think about it talking to moms with multiples.

 

[placemat]

@karenb53 Yes! My midwife told me something similar when we were discussing epidurals! (Mine didn’t work, but that is another story. )

 

[prodie53]

@karenb53 I said this all through my pregnancy & now that I'm a parent! Why play on hard mode? I only wanted 1 child because I know it would be hard to keep up with the energy & attention that multiples would require.

Plus I'm almost 40 & my son is only 4 months old. I'm not interested in doing this again in my 40's.

People love to one-up each other. You're not a "real woman" until you give birth, then you're not a "real mom" if you don't have so many kids you want to drive off a cliff. Spare me.

 

[karenb53]

@prodie53 I love the story about the woman who didn't want a cesarean because it wasn't really delivery. Midwife or nurse snapped something like "what the hell is it, digorno?"

I do a lot of semi home made meals and make no apology for ordering meal kits. It's easier and faster and just as healthy as making from scratch. I take any tips from other moms as I feel would work for us. Life is hard enough. I'll happily learn from someone else learning the hard way.

 

[prodie53]

@karenb53 So ridiculous! I had an emergency cesarean & now I have a baby, so what did I do other than give birth to him? It was just not the ideal way to do it but now my vj is still intact lol

 

[karenb53]

@prodie53 Same. At the end of the day I had a beautiful baby. Do not care what others think of how he got here.

 

[reallyray79]

@karenb53 I’m stealing this for when my sisters call me selfish again for just having one. Thanks!!

 

[suzi]

@placemat The saying “misery loves company” is applicable here. You acknowledging that you have it “easy” means youre not going to commiserate with them. They don’t like that.

Luckily, not your problem. Great handling of the situation.

 

[jasonavery08]

@suzi Yup, it's plain jealousy. I am sorry these moms are tired (and maybe unhappy?) but it's no excuse to give other moms a hard time.

 

[levettle]

@placemat LOL, why would I want to make my life harder than it has to be?

 

[tmoderncatholic]

@placemat Having a sibling doesn't mean anything. Chosen family can mean as much, if not more, than a sibling. Give me a break.

 

[jrchristian]

@tmoderncatholic I know so many people who don't even talk to their siblings. I love my 3 sisters but if they weren't related to me I'd only talk to one. Not that the other two suck; one is just 12 yrs younger than than me and the other one and I are just too different.
Siblings don't mean shit.

 

[sourpeach]

@placemat I've always found people will keep doing a thing until it no longer is enjoyable. Given most couples in our country stop at 2, I took it as a sign that 1 is the sweet spot.

 

[streetpreachergirl]

@sourpeach This is genius

 

[tikhonofsc]

@sourpeach I had a realization like that after several influencers I follow on instagram who while pregnant with their first, and even with their seconds were still saying they think they want 3-4 kids (very seriously)

then within a few months of their second being born, all 3 women started saying they think their family's complete. Even Behati Prinsloo when pregnant said she wants a huge amount of kids for a big family etc, but then she had her second kid and no more. Really interesting imo and it opened my eyes quite a bit when even these women got too overwhelmed and they try to make everything seem like rainbows and sunshine

 

[shell369]

@placemat I always hear about the fantasy life of having two children who are close in age and best friends and constantly keep each other entertained. Where do these families exist?? My SIL has 2 kids under 3 and is drowning. I don't see the appeal lol

 

[trulyunsure]

@shell369 My husband and his brother are super close and always have been. I don’t know any other set of siblings close in age who get along so well.

 

[slibhin]

@shell369 I have a friend with two young kids 2,5 years apart and they’re like that. They almost make me want to have another. But both of hers are very easy kids: good sleepers, calm, eager to try new things. Mine is a never ending rollercoaster so I’m saving my sanity by not duplicating her.

 

[irishclaire]

@placemat If they do it again, just be like, “oh no, you’ve definitely talked me out of having more than one; that life is too rough for me! No really, you have me convinced!”