@ernesjohnson It’s a weird one. I have a good relationship with both but a lot of frustrations towards my sister. We are close and i’d do anything for her. She’s 2 years older. I am very protective of her and when our mother makes snide remarks about her weight or looks I’ll always defend her. A part of me will always have this strong defensive feelings towards her because she’s my sister and we all had a bit of a tough childhood with our parents and how they spoke to us.
That said as adults, my sister is 33, she has no interest in my life but still always says how close we are. She didn’t get us a wedding present, when we got engaged she wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate so me, my fiancé, my sister and her husband all went for dinner and somehow I ended up paying despite it being her idea and to celebrate our engagement. I had no issue paying for ourselves but was a bit annoyed when I ended up paying for them too. My husband got annoyed but I just couldn’t bring myself to confront her because again I’m very protective of her. As it went on it got worse, anytime we meet up I pay. We recently bought a house and she took ages to visit (she’s an hour away) and when she finally did they showed up empty handed (this to me is shocking because I never visit anyone empty handed, even if it’s just some biscuits). I ordered pizza for everyone and chips to share but they gave a box to their son who wouldn’t share with anyone and we all had to smile and laugh like it was ok.
Finally my son was born and she didn’t bother to visit. Even when he was only 20 minutes away she said she was getting her hair done so couldn’t see him. This all kind of hurt me as I flew home from abroad to meet my nephew and I’ve spent easily thousands on him since be was born, and I absolutely love him so of course I’m happy to. That my sister couldn’t even travel 20 minutes to meet my son was a bit unfair. She met him for the first time on Christmas Day, a month after he was born and only because we all did Christmas in my family
Home. The first thing she said was she couldn’t wait to see her sons reaction when he met him. Not even a congratulations or anything. That said, my sister recently got diagnosed with ADHD and autism and I think I always deep down knew a little. Like she just can’t seem to physically make herself show interest or care about anything other then her own life and while I know she still loves and cares about me and my family a part of me is just making myself step away because it’s exhausting and I do find myself hurt and annoyed about a lot of her behaviour. It’s very complex!
Anyway that was very long and apologies I went off topic. I’m also one and done and don’t feel bad because all the studies have shown that only children are absolutely fine and in a lot of areas excel more than multiples and I know from my own experience that siblings doesn’t automatically mean a best friend or soulmate. I actually envy one or two of my friends who do have that dream sibling relationship but to be honest it’s only maybe 2 or 3 people I know in my life who have it. Everyone else has ok or mediocre relationships. I have that close sibling relationship with friends and then I have my husband who is my closest person.
I also love dogs and get so much joy and happiness from being around them.