when did you have your first?

[nanalove]

@guitarofgod 25, 27, 29 and 32

 

[wonderer99]

@nanalove We are planning on that exact spacing although I started at 28. Mine are 4 2 and 5mo. How do you like the slightly longer gap from 3 to 4? Does the baby get left out or no?

 

[nanalove]

@wonderer99 We were married at 24 and by 29 we had four under four years old (twins at 27 yo) so maybe part of it was just trying to make it through...? Haha. I also had a miscarriage at 31 so that spaced it out a bit more, but the baby at 32 (my only girl) is great! She keeps up with everyone else and three years wasn't that much different than two, honestly just a bit easier. Her and the boy I had at 29 still have a special bond because he stayed at home with her and I while the older ones were off at school. Whatever you decide will usually work

 

[rebekah_h]

@guitarofgod My first at 21, second at 23, third at 25. My husband was 19 when I was 21! I have always thought “32” was a good age to have my last but I don’t know, that’s when people START having babies these days. My midwife always likes to tell me I’m “having babies exactly when we were meant and supposed to! Young!”

 

[freakonaleash]

@guitarofgod 31, 32, 34 and hoping for one more. Starting later definitely has the disadvantage of having to do it closer together but I don’t regret living my life and getting financially stable before having kids, I am a much better parent because of it and I actually like my kids being so close in age!

 

[guitarofgod]

@freakonaleash this is the gap i have with 2 of my siblings. our bond is really strong and the closeness in age helps!

 

[freakonaleash]

@guitarofgod That’s good to know! I’m hoping my kids are close since they’re so close in age

 

[kokopuff]

@guitarofgod I was 24, 26 and 30 when I had my kids. 30 was the cut off age for me. My kids are now 14, 12 and 7. Kind of wish I hadn't waited so long to go ahead with our 3rd kid, but at the time 2 kids had my hands pretty full. Now I love their age gaps. My 7 year old gives me a little sweetness to balance out the tween/teen angst. Lol. For now anyways.

Looking back, 24 seems so young to start having kids, though it didn't at the time. I don't regret a thing, though. Glad I started kind of young.

 

[katrina2017]

@guitarofgod I had my first at 23 and my second at 24. We've just got the two so far, but we're already thinking about our third. Our first two are currently 18 months and 3 months old

 

[katrina2017]

@guitarofgod I had my first at 20. Second at 25. Third at 27. Fourth at 32. I started early which wasn’t my original plan, however, I’m not planning on having anymore even though I originally wanted 6. I have too many health reasons and my fourth was born prematurely. Having the first and second and third and fourth 5 years apart was actually easier for me compared to having my second and third two years apart.

 

[guitarofgod]

@katrina2017 i find the pattern of 5-2-5 to be pretty cool. what would you say made it easier having them 5 years apart rather than 2?

 

[katrina2017]

@guitarofgod I was able to focus more on the younger one instead of having to divide my attention between the two since one was already nearly school age. I found it way more difficult to divide my time and attention between the middle two since one was a newborn and the other was a toddler that required constant supervision which often left me having to baby wear just to be able to do what needed to be done. Nowadays my oldest is 15 and the others are 9, 7, and 2 and I find it a lot easier now since my older two are able to help with the younger two. It was literal chaos having two close in age.

 

[katrina2017]

@guitarofgod Yes, really interesting! Especially because I know quite a few people that consciously went for the opposite (smaller gap, larger gap, smaller gap), so they would have 2 sets of 2 close in age, and a breather in between haha.

 

[katma]

@guitarofgod I had my first at 21. My 2nd at 23. My 3rd at 26. My 4th at 31. My 5th at 33. My 6th at 34 (3 months ago)

Still planning on having more.

Edit: going back to look at questions and continue answering.

Starting early did make it possible for us to have a large family.. we could have had more had we not spaced a few out.

My husband originally wanted to be done having kids at 40 (which he will be next month) but has decided he definitely wants to keep having them as long as I do. I don't really have an age cutoff.. when I feel like I can't safely handle pregnancy.. we're done.

If it makes a difference.. there are 13 years between my oldest and youngest.. they have such an amazing bond. I recently saw a FB reel where someone had their 4th child when her older sons were between the ages of 16 and 22... it showed footage of them being involved in their baby sister's life and having an awesome bond.

 

[guitarofgod]

@katma it’s awesome that the bond between your oldest and youngest is really good! my youngest brother and i are 15 years apart and i can honestly say that he’s an adorable and smart kid but i do struggle with connecting with him sometimes. do you think you struggled more with the jump from 1 kid to 2 or 2-3 or so forth or was it easier after your first since you gained an understanding of parenthood?

 

[katma]

@guitarofgod The jump from none- 1 and 1-2 was definitely the hardest (hence the nearly 4 year gap between 2 and 3.) Adding kids after that is a lot easier.

It was hard going from none-1 because.. it's new and all of a sudden you're responsible for keeping another human alive while sleep deprived.

Going from 1-2 was hard because I was having to raise a new human while sleep deprived while also trying to keep alive a toddler, who did his best to unalive himself as much as possible (he also liked to take things apart... if it wasn't screwed in or bolted down, it was taken apart.)