when did you have your first?

[guitarofgod]

my partner and i are pretty young and we both want a fairly big family. whether or not this will happen is up to the universe, but we have started trying and are planning for it. in the midst of it all i started wondering how old most people were when they had their first. if you started younger, do you think age contributed to having a bigger family? do you have a cutoff age or a cutoff at all for that matter? i’m hoping to have my last before i turn 35 just because i think that is when i would personally feel like there isn’t too big of age gaps and i could still feel decently energized to run after little ones. i’m curious to hear about how others go about having their big families!

p.s: i hope none of these questions are offensive to anyone!

 

[tacoma215]

@guitarofgod I got pregnant at 24 then had my daughter at 25. Had my son at 27. I'm 30 now and we are planning on trying for one more starting next month! So they would be 5.5, 3 going on 3.5, and newborn approximately if it happens quickly.

I say all the time that having kids is a young person's game. I'm much more tired now at 30 than I was when I had my first at 25. Then again I'm also in grad school and have two young kids lol

 

[honoluluwindow]

@guitarofgod I had my first at 22 and my last at 36. We had 4 in 5 years and then 8 years later we had a Covid baby. I will say I had a lot more energy which the first four compared to #5. #5 is medically complex but still I am much more tired this time!

 

[ancienttruth]

@guitarofgod We got a late start and I had my first at 34, just had number 3 a few weeks shy of my 38th birthday. We're done now. My partner is 41. We don't have the energy now for more, but if we had gotten started sooner, I bet we'd have had a couple more. I feel in the groove now.

 

[kaykay8]

@guitarofgod We started trying at 22, but after 9 years we finally had our first. Not as many as we wanted, but still enough. Maybe one more, but no more pregnancies for me

 

[advertisehere]

@guitarofgod I was 21 with our first, had a miscarriage one year later, had twins almost exactly two years to the day from our firstborn, and now we’re about to adopt our nephew who is 15 months younger than the twins.
Which means that we have four kids four and under. It is A LOT, but I also love the age gaps. This may change as they get older but everyone has a friend to play with even if they’re on the outs with someone else. Granted my oldest is very loving and tender toward other kids, and if he wasn’t I don’t know that he would play as well with the youngest.

As a young mom, I feel like I have more energy and am more adventurous than some of my older friends with kids the same age, but they usually have jobs, finances, and assets a little more figured out.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I also know that the security of my marriage plays a big part in that. My husband is super involved with both me and the kids, which makes it so much easier than it could be. Our families are also a big support. I would say that if you have a great support system, have all the kids you want as close together as you want. Just know that it can be overwhelming no matter if you have one or four. Parenting is no joke, but it is oh, so amazing!

And also, if you find that certain seasons are harder than others, don’t be afraid to change your plans. There are some parts of parenting no one can prepare you for.

 

[guitarofgod]

@advertisehere this is a lot of great advice! thank you! i definitely understand the struggles of raising younger kids that are around the same age. im the oldest of 5 and helped raise my younger siblings and cousins A LOT, i even consider them my “first kids” haha

 

[tagliatellimonster]

@guitarofgod

1. We were married for 3 years at that point and had one miscarriage before that. We now have 3 kids and I may have another (I’m 32 now).

 

[kdudkey]

@guitarofgod 17 or 18 i was still in high school

 

[guitarofgod]

@kdudkey wow! how would you say your experience was when it came to having a baby so young?

 

[kdudkey]

@guitarofgod Just make sure who the person you have a kid with and don’t cheat or hang around the wrong people and you’ll be ok…isn’t that what good parents teach us?

 

[kdudkey]

@guitarofgod It was great,it was twins…..but i did make alot of young man mistakes(drugs,infidelity,liquor,careless with money) thats me though, i seen some ppl that age do great things and some people bad,but my kids are 12 now and im 29 so thats one good pro there you get to have more time and memories with them.

 

[comatose95]

@guitarofgod 18

 

[guitarofgod]

@comatose95 my mom had me when she was 18. do you think that having your first so young contributed to you having a bigger family?

 

[comatose95]

@guitarofgod No, not at all, just poor teenage decisions

 

[scott1482]

@guitarofgod We had our first at 22, and our youngest was born when I was 39. We have 9 total now.

 

[marke2]

@guitarofgod Married at 20. First at 21, then at 22, 24, a few weeks shy of 26, 28, and almost 30.

I'm one of 9; my mother was also 20 when she got married. She ranged from 21 to 40 at our births.

 

[guitarofgod]

@marke2 i really like the spacing you have between all your kids! do you have a cutoff or do you hope to keep similar gaps if you have another little one?

 

[marke2]

@guitarofgod I'm not sure. 2 under 2 is overwhelming. On the other hand, the older kid never has a memory of being the youngest, so they don't miss it.

The one time I did not have 2 under 2 was when I had my April 2020 baby. Overwhelming for other reasons.

 

[wills777]

@guitarofgod 23!