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@dadon Don’t go behind his back like this person is suggesting, that could make it more dangerous and alienate him. He will need you to be someone he can trust and turn to throughout this abuse.
I would tell him that you feel strongly that he deserves better and that you are here for him regardless. Don’t put your emotions into it, don’t say it makes you sad to see him hurt, just say as your parent I love you and this isn’t a loving relationship.
Tell him to keep a small overnight bag at your place so he can come there if he needs to. Give him a key and then let him settle into knowing he can trust you and see you and your home as a safe place.
As for Christmas, change your plans and perhaps have a distraction like a movie so you’re together but not interacting the whole time. Also, no alcohol or very limited drinks
I would tell him that you feel strongly that he deserves better and that you are here for him regardless. Don’t put your emotions into it, don’t say it makes you sad to see him hurt, just say as your parent I love you and this isn’t a loving relationship.
Tell him to keep a small overnight bag at your place so he can come there if he needs to. Give him a key and then let him settle into knowing he can trust you and see you and your home as a safe place.
As for Christmas, change your plans and perhaps have a distraction like a movie so you’re together but not interacting the whole time. Also, no alcohol or very limited drinks
@punkyb87 There are some serious things to consider. If he is being beaten to the point of visible injury, that could eventually lead to a concussion and other serious injuries. There have also been numerous accounts of abusers beating their victims to death, and you cannot assume this is an impossibility here. If there is some way to get the boyfriend away from his girlfriend without legal intervention, maybe that would be the best choice. Yet which is worse, the son alienating his parent or the son remaining at risk of severe injury? The trauma that will result from the abuse is both physical and mental, but upsetting him due to saving him from the abuse is not nearly as detrimental.
@taz77777 Standard practice is to allow survivors of abuse to choose their exit that works and is safest for them. Removing an individual from a situation can actually be more harmful depending on the cycle of the abuse and the abuser.
Research is constantly evolving so I understand your view, but I encourage you to read some of the latest research in the matter, it’s very interesting.
Research is constantly evolving so I understand your view, but I encourage you to read some of the latest research in the matter, it’s very interesting.
jocelynvenus
New member
@dadon Are you bigger than her? To be honest, I'm a big woman and I think I would pull her aside, get her alone, and tell her if she ever lays a hand on my son again for the rest of her natural life I will break my foot off in her ass. But, that's probably the wrong advice. Besides, what if she is able to whoop your ass?
elvishreyesministries
New member
@dadon Call the cops and press charges. Also... if she's in front of , i would let her know that you are aware of what's happening and that you will press charges.
Alternatively you can break up with her for him. And say as of that day he will not be leaving your home with her and that you will have a police escort come get his things.
Alternatively you can break up with her for him. And say as of that day he will not be leaving your home with her and that you will have a police escort come get his things.
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