We f***ed up. Ruined sleep trained baby

[srjoanna]

@av3nger I see. I feel better now. Great that your kiddo is able to go back to usual sleep schedule!

 

[cfdb]

@srjoanna This sounds pretty common for 2 year olds both sleep trained and not. Friends who did cry it out and had great sleepers their toddlers all started waking at certain ages and coming to parents room or needing parents in their room. We always held or laid with our kiddos. It’s all very normal. Hard when there is stuff to do , but normal

 

[srjoanna]

@cfdb Ahh! Got it. Thanks! It does make me feel better. He is my first so trying to figure out as I go

 

[cfdb]

@srjoanna Aw honestly there is no wrong or right answer when it comes to this type of parenting. You just do what feels right to you. It’s a gift to be our children’s safe space. I will say as well, around the age of 2 is when my kid started becoming scared of the dark. We’ve used a hatch sound machine since she was an infant and always had the light off or on the lowest red setting. Around 2 she wanted the light on a bit so her room wasn’t pitch black. I let her pick the color each night (just not blue) and set it to around 2-3.

 

[annacondor]

@srjoanna OMG is this my post?? We switched our 2yo to a toddler bed in January and have been having similar issues but with staying in bed. She keeps coming to ours. We love the cuddles but now she ends up in our bed more nights than not the killer is on the rare night she does stay in her bed all night she is so excited that she woke up in her own bed! Like…come on kid!

 

[srjoanna]

@annacondor Ok I feel like all the kiddos are going through the same thing after the transition I think they realized how much freedom they have

 

[god2good4me]

@srjoanna I cuddle a bit and on a not so clingy night I say I’ll be right outside the door,goodnight.

On a clingy night I tell her I have to go potty I’ll be right back n just leave-they will fall asleep.

Less cuddle time faster exit every night till habit is broken

 

[srjoanna]

@god2good4me We are trying to do that. Last night hubby only stayed for 5 mins. Will see if we can cut shorter

 

[bohemianmom]

@srjoanna This is a normal transition when switching from a crib to bed this early. We also made this mistake.
We basically gentle trained our guy. Rocking, hugs cuddles, holding hands, and then after a few days shortening the time and then eventually moving to middle of the room and then to the door.
It took 4 months all together and he still crawls into bed with us at 5am but he goes down easily and sleeps basically until 5 95% of the time.
Once in bed with us he will sleep until 7pm.
Like someone said earlier typical sleep training methods don’t work at this age and if they have mobility from their crib

 

[srjoanna]

@bohemianmom You guys are awesome! you have so much more patience than us. We are freaking out and trying to cut cold turkey. But good to know this is normal.

 

[bohemianmom]

@srjoanna Oh we had to do all the reading. He’s our second and we never ran into this with our first

 

[meekgirl]

@srjoanna I remember seeing others post similar stuff. Apparently you’re supposed to hype them up on sleeping in their own bed the whole day?

 

[srjoanna]

@meekgirl I think so. We should have done that

 

[meekgirl]

@srjoanna Well you can do that now!

There’s also reward systems, toddler alarm clocks.

 

[findinghimagain]

@srjoanna You didn’t ruin him… he’s 2. Do you know how many adults can’t sleep if their significant other isn’t next to them in bed. Children can be the same way. Your cuddles have made him feel safer than he felt without them. It’s one thing to say you want your child to fall asleep more independently but to say you ruined your perfect child because they want your love and comfort is a little much.
Also children go through keep regressions, bad dreams, they can start to feel scared of the dark and you can sleep train them with still providing comfort for them.
My almost 3 year old was the best at being able to just place him in his crib and he would fall asleep on his own and stay sleep all night. Then one random night he refused and screamed for hours until he finally let him in our bed. We also ended up getting the floor mattress. My husband started laying with him til he fell asleep. 1.5 years later he still lays next to him til he falls asleep and my husband said that being that comfort for our son has been great. They’re only this little once and 5 years from now when they’re super independent he will be able to look back and say he was glad he soaked up all the snuggles.

 

[srjoanna]

@findinghimagain I love reading this. We ll keep the night time cuddles. Its just too cute. Although me and my husband both sleep better separately, our son is a super cuddly guy

 

[jer999]

@srjoanna Sleep training is an exercise in impermanence. The second routine feels established it can and will completely change. You didn't ruin anything. In a captain Picard kind of way, this is one of those situations where you can commit no errors and still lose. But it's not losing. If he needs some cuddling while you get him re-situated, be grateful and enjoy it.

 

[srjoanna]

@jer999 I like the way you put it

 

[susanmlm]

@srjoanna You didn't ruin him. There's a 2 year sleep regression and he was also likely too young to transition out of the crib. I know he climbed out and it wasn't safe, but had you tried flipping the crib around so the short side was against the wall and the tall side facing the room (so he couldn't climb out?) was he in a sleep sack?

I'm all for safe sleep, but I also know that many 2yo are too young to transition out of crib. Their prefrontal cortex is rly not developed at that age so they can't understand the change properly.

I also don't think typical sleep training works at 2yo. They are too old and they can go for hours. I had a friend who went through this problem and it took a long time, but they basicallt phased out the sleep assistance rly slowly. Started with cuddles, then she moved to a chair beside the bed while holding his hand, then the chair moved a little farther, etc. She had to stay at the door for a few weeks while he fell asleep but within 2 months, he was back on track.

Wtv you decide to do,good luck!

 

[srjoanna]

@susanmlm Hey there thanks for responding! Yes we tried flipping and he stilled jumped out from the side and ended up head first on the floor (we were super afraid though it was mattress). I would love to keep him in the crib as long as I can. He can also now open the sleep sack by himself( which I might have to huy different kinds soon). We sleep trained him at 4 months and we normally did ferber. I believe it took a week to train him. Its harder now bc of how strong they are and they can cry for a long time and also screaming for you and such.