@rubbles I struggled with this a bit when our daughter was a baby. Husband wouldn’t wake up to cries and would fall asleep with the baby in his arms if I tried to trade off turns at night to get some sleep, so I just didn’t. We have two totally different views of how the house should be kept and with his ADHD, he always seems to leave a trail of misplaced items, laundry, dirty dishes, or trash behind him without blinking twice. I couldn’t manage cleaning, cooking, and an infant who would only contact nap.. the stress was unreal as clutter and mess built up around me and I lived off of granola bars. I’d have to send him pictures of the formula if he went out to buy it. I felt like I had to remind him if it was time for a bottle or diaper change. Dark times and lots of resentment in those early days. Things did get better. At a certain point I just started assigning him stuff, things I knew he could manage… for example, bath time is his task. He is SO much more hands-on and proactive now that she’s a toddler though, thankfully. And he’s started picking up some of my slack with household chores like dishes and (his) laundry, and will cook some nights. He takes so much more initiative overall now and goes out of his way to make sure
our daughter’s needs are being met, without being asked. I feel like a lot of men just don’t know what to do with babies… not that first-time moms do either, but something inside us seems to just turn on and we make it work regardless.
