U.K. School Incident - how serious is this?

@freddie11 That seems like a bigger deal than a lack of expulsion as such. Unless this happened, like, yesterday, I'd expect you to have heard something. Your school may work differently, but I would email the teachers you spoke to and cc an administrator (e.g. headmaster): summarize the incident, as well as what the teachers said in conversation with you, and ask about next steps (don't dictate what the next step should be at this stage - just ask). That sort of thing often gets the wheels rolling more quickly.
 
@freddie11 In that situation I might still write that email, but fwiw I would expect an expulsion to be unlikely. Schools are usually bound by pretty strict procedures around this, and except for a few very narrow things that result in instant expulsion, it's rare to jump straight to that without a record of suspensions and other interventions not working first.
 
@freddie11 Oh hell no. It shouldn't matter where you're based at. This is bullshit. I'd make a HUGE deal out of this with the school. I'd demand something be done. And if nothing else, I would pull my kid(s) from this school. And because you pay for it (I saw in another comment), that's even worse! A private school should be held to higher standards than those of public schools. Ugh, this pisses me off so much.

I was bullied like this growing up. We were poor and I got hurt, made fun of, and there were tons of rumors about me and my family. Inbreeding, we eat cats, there's garbage just all over the walls of my house (seriously wtf?). Etc. I had to PULL MYSELF out of school at 16 because even the teachers were starting in. And I was going to end up dead. So I left and put myself into online school.

Bullies should never be allowed to get away with shit. They should be held accountable.
 
@freddie11 Given it's a private school the most painful thing you can do to them is visibility. Start by sitting down and writing down right now as exact and detailed a statement of what happened as possible. It won't be fun but consider having your son read it and confirm it's correct by signing it. Do this while it is fresh and there is no risk of people saying you can't correctly recall the details.

Give the school a chance to come back to you. If they don't do so to your satisfaction then send them your statement, indicate you are concerned about your child's safety and that you are concerned that the school is failing to adequately protect your child from violent bullying. Then state that unless they take this matter sufficiently seriously/do the things you want them to do you will be taking the matter to (i) Ofsted (if the school is inspected by Ofsted), (ii) any site you can find that rates/reviews the school and (iii) the press, in that order.

Private schools charge fees based on reputation. Big ugly bullying stories look bad. If you think you need to, that is how you get their attention.
 
@megs56 Thank you so much. This is great advice. I’m definitely going to write the statement and I’m definitely going to create a podcast write to the newspapers.
 
@freddie11 Sounds like standard bullying nonsense.

Was your son hurt?

Bullies are the absolute worst. This is an important lesson for your son - he cannot control what anyone else does, he can only control what he does.

Disciplinary action for the bully is up to the school and the bully's parents to worry about. For you, your primary concern is keeping your son safe and making sure this does not become a pattern.

For that I can only suggest that you tell him to stand up for himself.

I know we all tell our kids not to get into fights, but at 13 he is old enough to get into a scrap if he has to. It's a last resort of course, but bullies don't pick on the kids who hit back.

To that end, if your son doesn't already have the tools to protect himself, I strongly recommend you consider having him take up wrestling if the school offers it, boxing or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. These are sports that will teach your son how to protect himself.

If your son can learn to keep his hands up and his chin down, bullies will move on. If he learns how to take a bully to the ground and keep him there, he'll be able to protect himself without getting in trouble.
 
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