U.K. School Incident - how serious is this?

[freddie11]

@mufpan He started boxing already - BJJ is next !

 

[wretched]

@freddie11 BJJ is awesome and one of the most useful martial arts when it comes to real world self defense. With BJJ my son practices grappling with other kids 3 days a week. I’m pretty sure in a situation like this he would react on pure muscle memory and have the other kid in a submission hold within seconds. I highly recommend it!

 

[kataramma]

@freddie11 I hate hearing stories about bullying. I hope your boy is alright and isn’t too badly hurt or shaken by this. He should feel safe and protected at school. If the teachers won’t look out for him going forward then your son is going to have to look out for himself. I’m not condoning violence but bullies need to be stood up to. It might be time to teach your lad the laws of the jungle. I’ve always told my boy that he will never get in trouble for sticking up for himself or others but being a bully himself is never acceptable. Good luck.

 

[crown93]

@freddie11 Ugh why are kids such assholes to each other.

 

[wjl]

@freddie11 If this happens again, regardless of level of bullying received from this individual, have your son smack him in the nose. It won't happen a third time.

 

[verga]

@freddie11 as an american i would only expect him to be suspended

 

[njohn63]

@freddie11 In the US in a public school, the physical contact would result in a suspension if corroborated by other students, witnessed by staff, or if the attacker admitted to it. Whether it would be an in-school or out of school suspension would depend on a number of factors, including if the attacker/bully has an IEP or 504 plan (documented special needs).

Here, it takes causing severe injuries to another student or teacher to get a kid expelled. Bullying and shoving/hitting is not going to get there. When our older child was in 3rd grade, a classmate terrorized the class constantly, to the point where the other students had to evacuate the classroom for their own safety about once every week and a half. What finally got the student suspended was an incident where she sucker-punched a teacher, told her classmates she was going home to get her mom's gun and would come back to kill them all, and then taking off into the school to hide until the police came and hauled her out. For that, she got a 3 day in-school suspension before being put back with her classmates as if nothing had happened. The other children (who were traumatized) were told by the principal and school counselor that if they were nicer to her, she might not do things like that. (This was nearly our final straw in sending our kids to private school - we were SO close.)

A private school would be a different matter - their tolerance for this kind of thing is much lower (although in some schools if the attacker/bully is the child of a major donor or prominent person there will be more leeway for behavior issues - just being honest).

 

[katrina2017]

@freddie11 I’m sorry you’re going through this and your son too.

Four ideas I have that might help him:
1.) ask your son if he is willing to take some ongoing and continuous self-defense classes. Do your due diligence to find a place with good teachers that are good PEOPLE. This could help him build a community outside of school and also learn self defense if ever in the unfortunate circumstance someone tries to physically attack him, he can defend himself
2.) spend quality time with him. Make sure he knows you’re paying attention to him throughout the day when you’re with him and checking in with him, and that he knows you’re there for him. Perhaps do some bonding activities together like going on walks or watching a movie or playing a game.
3.) help him find hobbies of his own. Could be a STEM club for young adults, learning an instrument, finding a sport, art, cooking, woodwork, horse riding, writing, etc. do some research on all the different hobbies out there (there’s thousands) and start taking him to places that offer that until he finds something he likes.
4.) get a counselor for him.

 

[freddie11]

@katrina2017 Thats a lovely response - thanks for
Your support - he actually already started boxing

 

[katrina2017]

@freddie11 That’s great I hope he enjoys it

 

[prayingforwestcliff]

@freddie11 You're kid has more self control than I did at 13, I would have ran up and spartan kicked the little fucker int the head

 

[freddie11]

@prayingforwestcliff Yep and I’m very proud of him for that resolve

 

[prayingforwestcliff]

@freddie11 As you should be

 

[adamfromwaterford]

@freddie11 The teacher left the students unattended. Did you address that with the principal?

 

[freddie11]

@adamfromwaterford I haven’t addressed anything yet as they’ve gone to take statements.

The teacher left the room. The boy who is already being disciplined for bullying, my boy, intimidated him in front of the class, and then picked him up by the collar and threw me across the room. And told the class my son’s mum is an inbred. Then sang a song about our whole family fucking each other because we are inBreds.

The school in question is a private feepaying school, and if they want to keep this vile piece of shit in there, I’m gonna make sure everybody knows and remove my child.

 

[katrina2017]

@freddie11 I would expect your kid to learn how to punch said kid in the nose next time.

Please get him/her in Martial Arts Classes so they can teach them to stand up for themselves, don't raise a victim.

 

[ladypf]

@freddie11 Call the police and press charges against the bully. Sounds like you have plenty of witnesses!

 

[littlewolf77]

@freddie11 When I went to private Catholic school in the late 90's this type of behavior would get you kicked out pretty much immediately. They had a wait list and zero tolerance for that type of behavior. A minor infraction most likely would get a warning, like swearing at a teacher or cutting a class. Repeat behavior like that and you were out. Something like what your son endured, immediate expulsion. Nowadays I'm sure a report would also be filed with the police. Honestly it was such a good school there were never any physical fights. Some teasing and name calling here and there but we all really liked going to school there and didn't want to run the risk of getting asked to leave. Attending private school is a privilege not a right. Assaulting a fellow student and you should expect to lose that privilege. You shouldn't be getting the run around for something this serious. Something doesn't seem right here, what kind of private school puts up with physical and psychological violence. Is this bully receiving special treatment for some reason? Get a lawyer asap

 

[mermaid0614]

@freddie11 Find someone bigger than the bully and pay the kid to "send a message" to the bully. Easy breezy

 

[katrina2017]

@mermaid0614 This is the way, I paid some homeless good money to beat the shit out of a kid who is a bully, he stopped messing with my niece since then