@indigostarfire If I stuck to my birth plan, I would’ve had a painless birth like my first pregnancy. But noooooo the midwife couldn’t find my vein so the epidural got ruled out and I had to do it unmedicated. I was soooo not prepared for it. Thank GOD the entire process in the hospital only lasted 2 hours. I was so weak.
Oddly, I totally forgot how painful it was. My baby is 2 months old and I’m already ready to get the next pregnancy over with.
I can say though, watching my husband through the haze of pain, was really worrying. He’s not usually easily rattled and he remained calm for my sake but I could really tell that he was worried. He was gripping my hands harder than I was gripping his! At one point, he got ahold of my head and had his hands clamped down on both my ears and I had to yell at him to let go so I can hear the midwife talk me through the transition.
Jesus
To quote my husband, “I felt like the supporting character in a horror movie.”
To this day, he still talks about the amount of blood that came from me. I, personally, wasn’t traumatized by the birth understanding that this is just a natural part of life but I didn’t SEE me go through it. I wasn’t the helpless one watching what looks like buckets of blood leave your partner’s body.
If I were you, I would at least try to talk it out with your wife, a trust friend or a therapist. All your fears, worries, ignorance, etc. and fill in some holes or fix some misconceptions.
I’m glad that husbands do see how hard pregnancy/ the birth is. It rights a balance of sorts—if you didn’t think we needed your help healing postpartum, now you do.