@benzohar Understood, and I wouldn’t want it to be a long term solution as the kid gets older, but I think it might actually help you be more present because your brain short circuits less.
Another stress releasing option is to focus on your breathing…it might actually help your kid to practice too. Parents usually teach it as “blowing out the birthday candles”. For you, you might want to focus on counting as you breathe slowly in and out. Or try internally reciting a song you know the words to.
The key to toddler tantrums is taking them to a safe place to process then letting them learn to process in that safe space, so that eventually they can do so anywhere. Part of that is making yourself a safe calm part of that space. Thus I think prioritizing calming yourself (using any self soothing technique you find works) will ultimately help your toddler learn to calm down too.
Our bodies are hardwired to respond and protect our children: it sounds like you’re going through a very natural struggle. I hope you and your child get past this stage quickly.
