This subreddit needs a wiki

[ugastargirl]

@duke845 As a side note, THANK YOU for reminding me in August that fall break exists, wtf.

Signed,
mom of a new kindergartener

 

[nathan98]

@duke845

1. If I make innumerable sacrifices to pump at work, to pay astronomical childcare costs, to be present in my kids’ lives, to make the effort to celebrate every milestone and take the time to make memories with my little kids, it will all be worth it when they are older - right? Yes. No. Maybe. It all depends. There are no guarantees. You just have to enjoy children in the moment.

 

[mommarie1965]

@duke845 The answer to #9 is also the patriarchy and misogyny on the part of male partners. Women deserve better than just “soldier on”. It’s deeply unfair and a huge problem, as evidenced by this sub.

 

[magicaljourney]

@duke845 This is goood

 

[cyruse]

@duke845 9 is crazy to me lol

 

[joerob40]

@duke845 It seems like everyone in the sub feels very strongly on number 7, which makes me sad. I recently returned to work (retail bakery) and am miserable and have been looking into a passive wfh data processing gig since we can’t afford to be single income. Is it REALLY that bad?

 

[andujartyler]

@joerob40 See 7.a: It really IS that bad. And many wfh contract will specify that you cannot mind children while working (mine did). My MIL's contract specified that there could not be little children or loud animals, especially dogs to be allowed to work from home.

The only way it can maybe work is if you work at night when your partner is around to help.

 

[elite_jedi]

@joerob40 I only do it on sick and professional days and it’s so, so miserable.

 

[kyredneck]

@duke845 Thank you for your service!

 

[nuggets71]

@duke845 How do people afford to have kids?

 

[giamfreeg]

@duke845 Division of labor / mental load

 

[yesipreach]

@duke845 Please can I get a recording of you reading no. 1 so I can play it on a loop on my sad days?

 

[calliemarion]

@duke845 XX) Why is xyz parenting task so easy for my friend when it's so hard for me? Because parents and children are INDIVIDUALS. Your kid might be legitimately harder to deal with than your friend's kid. A child with learning differences, physical or intellectual disabilities, or emotional or mental health issues is going to be a next-level parenting challenge. Yes, you're not wrong, it is indeed harder! And ignore that BS that parents with easy kids say, e.g. "I just make my expectations clear" "Well I told my kids 'we don't hit in this family'" "My children know nothing less than a 93% is acceptable" etc. If you know your children well and you're doing your best to meet their needs based on evidence & expert advice, give yourself a pat on the back you are doing FINE. Also, recognize that more time with mom is often NOT the answer and that teachers and professionals are often better at serving our special kids than we are because of their training, expertise, and objectivity.