There will never be a perfect time

[oneironaut27]

Hi there! Just recently found y’all and happy that I have! My husband and I have been married 1 year this October. We’ve been together for 6, 6 years of hardcore traveling, (we met when I was 18) and since meeting have hit over 30 countries, most oceans and majority of our continents. Our big, last trip was going to be Madagascar. Then Covid hits. That’s where we were supposed to be this September...

We are (28M) and (24F).

We are owners and managers of his families grassfed beef operation, yes, real ranchers. We have been very lucky and blessed that Covid brought many new customers, new business and we have been able to stash quite a bit of money away. We also have invested in a new startup that is already doing AMAZING. Finances are secure!
We are making plans to expand what we already have established though...

My point; I am ready and wanting children. We’ve always discussed having 2, now we are thinking two at a closer age. He is wanting children. BUT he still has the travel bug; to different countries. I have more of a camping bug. With the limitations of Covid travels, I can’t help but feel like this is our time! For the foreseeable future we cannot/will not travel to Africa, Tibet, Mongolia.. which are our big/long term trips we hope for. We’ve left the country for at least a month every summer. Not this year.

Our expansion is a five year goal. I’m saying a five year can travel better than a new born. I don’t want to wait five years to try. If we start now, we’ll have two ready to go somewhere in five years... business will be going and we’ll have the freedom to leave work behind again.

My parents had me at 20/21. I enjoy having young, active parents to travel, camp, work, party with. I want to be in the same boat with my kids! My SO had him at 27, so he’s on a bit of a different page. I want to be a young mother with my kids.

So, am I crazy for thinking this is my ‘perfect’ timing? I have an iud and am planning on a modern fertility test kit to see where I am in my potential for conceiving and he wAnts kids born in the summer (ugh) so we should start trying in October. Haha I raise animals and love them...but I want children to share all this with. To teach, to love, to explore with.

Thank you

 

[rewind2grace]

@oneironaut27 I am a believer that there is never a perfect time, but there are also plenty of shitty times to have kids lol. It sounds like you're in a great place to have kids. I think the most important thing is to have a solid relationship and solid income, which you do. I totally get that you want to re-create the experience you had as a child, but I'm guessing the attitude and parenting philosophy of your parents had more to do with the way you were raised than their actual age. 24 vs. 27 or 30 isn't all that different, I swear.

 

[oneironaut27]

@rewind2grace Thank you! Yes, I’m sure you are right about the age. We travel with both sets of parents so I’m not seeing a huge problem there.. guess it’s just my own preference. Thank you!

 

[1981jonesy]

@oneironaut27 I second this about the age factor. My parents were F31 and M35 when they had me, their first child. These ages are also more common for where I am from, in a suburb of New York City. Now I’m 27 years old, and my parents are still in great health with a lot of vitality and still feel years away from actually seeming “old.” And, agree that there’s really no difference between 24 and 27. At that point you’re splitting hairs if your concern is youthfulness. IMO from your age all the way to even mid-30s, you are in the sweet spot of being in your younger adult years yet with a reasonable amount of maturity and life experience. Your future children likely wouldn’t have very different childhoods if you wait 5 years. I don’t think y’all will be that different of people. But taking them on your adventures sounds really fun

At the end of the day it’s all in the attitude, as well as being blessed with good health, both of which often transcend age.

 

[katrina2017]

@oneironaut27 Also agree that there is never a perfect time. Usually thinking there is a perfect time is kind of an excuse not to start trying when you are completely capable to do so (finances are good/health is good/age is good). I’m saying it’s an excuse because that’s how I feel like I saw it when I was “waiting for the perfect time.” We wanted to travel too (I wish we had your travel history. We want to go to Africa too), but covid.

We had a revelation that there is no point of waiting for something that might not even happen anytime soon (traveling) so why continue to wait for something that we have no control over..we DO have control over when we can start TTC and that is so much more important than traveling. Instead of waiting to travel we changed our mindset and said we are going to plan tons of camping trips until we TTC in January. It may not be traveling abroad, but it’s still fun and making the best use of our time RIGHT NOW. I don’t want 6-8 months or even a year to go by only to find out traveling still isn’t possible and also realizing I could’ve been pregnant and given birth that whole time. Also, if you have fertility issues at least you can address them and be proactive about them sooner rather than later.

That’s just our story! I hope it helps your decision making. In my opinion, go for it (if your hubby can agree). You’re set up great and it seems like you’ve traveled so much already. The rest of the trips can wait till after the baby is born!

 

[oneironaut27]

@katrina2017 Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate your outlook, it’s about where I am too! I will be completely satisfied with staying stateside for the foreseeable future, camping especially! Just gotta see if he is okay with that — given that we are not really interested in the countries opening for travel anyway. Plus, we’ve kind of already accepted that we need to stay on the ranch the rest of the year and on, due to multiple factors.

Update: just had a convo with hubs about taking the fertility test. He’s leaning more towards, “don’t make it so science-y and let’s just have fun and see what happens in the next year” which almost, almost sounds a little “ignorance is bliss” but I do see his point. Thank you again, love your response.

 

[yeshuite]

@oneironaut27 I don’t think this is crazy at all!

 

[oneironaut27]

@yeshuite Thank you!! Haha