I'm depressed b/c I had to close my business to make 1/4 more cash as per her request durring her post partum depression. Still not to expectations. 75k CAD. SHE WANTS 100K. Have house and rental income. Make 12000k per month, both of us combined.(we make the same)
Drank after work to take the edge off today... her ex drank.my family has a history of functional alcoholism. She No tolerance for self soothing using alcohol.
Ultimatum presented: sort my shit out. Aka; no video games, & no liquor. Or we break up.
First fight. Super bummed she's 10 years younger. I love her. Nut I'm over worked and tired of missing the mark on her expectations.
@cloveerforever Hot take, any woman who has minimum income demands is not a woman I'd stay with. Maybe be glad you weren't married yet. No matter how young/ hot she is, it ain't worth that shit.
@cloveerforever you might not be taking crazy pills now, but you might have when you still had more easily exercised options but didn't You might not be married, but having a child sure complicates this.
i would have a really straight up convo about expectations and needs..yours, too..and try to work a compromise here so neither of you are on the edge.
@brightflame I have but her mind and expectations keep getting more restricting. I asked " am what I'm doing right now meet your expectations" answer: yes, but your drinking mid week is irresponsible. And for that you have a week to decide on weather you want to lose all this.
'your expectations of me making 25% more that we dont need is unreasonable. it causes a lot of stress, not only b/c of the demand, but the lack of understanding, which i deal with by drinking more. I need you to stop this and also quit threatening me, its not good for us and certainly LO".
@brightflame It was treated. Nad she's over it and feels as though it's unfair I didn't go though something similar.....which is starting to feel like it's happening now. I did everything possible to keep all out shit together. Lost a lot. Put up with a lot of blame from her family b/c they saw me working more then helping her with her condition.(they distrust my ability to take care of her now b/c of thet time) it's rough. You guys are slowly getting g the whole picture.
@cloveerforever Are you getting YOUR expectation met? Relationships are two ways, two people trying to give what they can to the other person. If it's only you putting in the work and making the sacrifices, is that something you really want to get into more seriously?
@cloveerforever Ever think that this bullshit is contributing to your mental health and addiction?
Relationships are a team effort that demand compromise, not ultimata. Helping someone through PPD by picking up the income slack is compromise. Being forced to shut down your business permanently so she doesn’t have to work is not.
@ankit Meh, despite being a decade less experienced than him, and taking a majority of the childcare (while he plays video games) she makes the same salary as him - and until recently made more than him. And on top of that, he seems to have started problem drinking.
She seems frustrated her partner isn’t as motivated as her, and doesn’t seem to be pulling his weight in generally, especially now that they have a kid that is dependent on them being successful.
@splendour Sometimes, in certain circumstances, transactional can work for a couple IF they came into the relationship with functional and independent finances. Granted "keeping tabs" will kill your relationship, but there's a lot of "money personalities" and sometimes people thrive on it.
