@heavensdaughter we’re requiring it for anyone who wants to visit/hold baby when they’re a newborn/before they’re vaxed. we just said, hey, we’re requiring this because we’re sue during flu season and pertussis can kill babies. there was no pushback, luckily. i would not change my mind if there was, nothing comes before baby’s safety.
@heavensdaughter I didn't make a big fuss about it. I just sent out a text to my parents and stepparents and brother and let them know our pediatrician told us everyone seeing the baby needed TDAP and COVID vaccine and the flu vaccine once it's available. Everyone I texted already has COVID vaccine, so I said just check your vaccine record because you might already be fine and have TDAP, otherwise you can just get it real quick at Walgreens. No biggie at all.
The only issue I had was my mom was a bit of a diva about coordinating TDAP for my grandpa who she takes care of, so I told her no worries at all if he doesn't get it, he'll just have to wait until Thanksgiving to see babe (4 months old and will have his vaccine). I'm truly fine with whatever choice is made, but our boundaries are set. Period.
Now, my out-of-state in-laws are another story. Luckily MIL is the only remaining resistor and I'm perfectly fine with her not seeing baby if she doesn't get vaccinated because she is psycho (refuses to get the COVID vaccine or tdap or flu and SWEARS she won't hurt baby because she'd never do anything to harm the baby... ). But boundaries are boundaries and she's not crossing them. Period.
@simplefaith1854 I did this as well - just sent a text saying that my OB suggested that everyone who wanted to spend time with my first get their tdap and flu vaccines. My in laws initially put up a fuss, but gave in when they realized we weren't budging. Now, with my second, we are also requiring the covid vaccine and mask wearing if we don't trust them (looking at you, in-laws).
@heavensdaughter I was due in September 2020, so before the covid vaccine, but we did require tdap and flu vaccines for everyone. Once the covid vaccine was available, we made that a requirement for meeting baby too. I have to consider my child's health and safety before anything else. I figured my parents would say no (they're very conservative people), but they agreed and got them.
@heavensdaughter My mom brought it up on her own. She just told me one day that she’s got a doctor’s appointment scheduled and that she plans to ask for a TDaP. My in laws had boosters really recently because my BIL had a baby in April, and his wife asked everyone to get one. Makes my life easy because I never had to make the request (not that I’d have minded, but it saved me a step!) and I still get the peace of mind.
@jackeven My patient today asked to get another Tdap because "he has a new baby coming in the family and wanted to be proactive." We need more people like him - nobody asked that he updated his vaccine, he took the initiative!
@heavensdaughter Pertussis, influenza, and COVID can all be fatal for newborns, transferred by asymptomatic adults, and protected against with a vaccine. Pretty easy decision in my book.
I'm not trading my baby's health and potentially life for the sake of someone else's stubbornness.
@heavensdaughter We required it for my first and I’ll require it again for this one. My parents threw a tantrum but my in-laws got them without complaint. The phrasing I used was “Per the medical advice of our pediatrician and obstetric staff, we are requiring everyone who visits the baby before his first round of vaccines be fully vaccinated against TDaP and flu and show no signs of active infection or illness. We will also be asking that smokers shower and change clothes if they smoke before coming over. If you smell like cigarettes you will be denied a visit until you have showered and changed into clean smoke free clothing.”
My parents tried to kick up a stink (they smoke and didn’t want to get vaccinated) but they caved eventually when they realized I wasn’t going to budge. I know my wording is a bit harsh and clinical, but I literally can’t give my parents an inch or they try to wiggle out of anything they don’t want to do.
@heavensdaughter I told my mom she needs the covid vaccine, the tdap, and the flu shot. She said she will not get covid vaccine or flu shot. I told her it's her choice but that if she wants a caregiving role she needs these. Covid and the Trump administration have been difficult on our relationship. I'm her only child, she is my only living parent, and the rest of our family is a 13 hour plane ride away. It makes me sad she won't do this for her grandson.
@heavensdaughter I’m adamant about anyone who plans to be around our babies to have the COVID, flu, and Tdap shots. My family has all received their COVID vaccines already, and they’ve started their plan for when to get their tdap.
I’m not sure where my husband’s family is at on this - I’ve tasked him with telling them, but I might just make it easy for everyone and send a group text.
@heavensdaughter We did with our first, and our parents and siblings were all fine with getting tdap boosters. I didn’t ask it for friends who were just seeing baby for one visit.
Luckily for me, my family all generally pro-vaccine, so it was a pretty easy convo. “The doc says everyone around baby should be up to date on their tdap, please check your records and get one if you’re overdue”.
@heavensdaughter If someone was going to be staying with me, I would. But we only allowed limited time with baby and no holding, so I didn't require it.
@heavensdaughter Very easy conversation with my parents - they asked when they should visit and we said we’d love to have them after the birth but require a few shots, mentioned a few on the call and they had zero problems and promised to follow up with a full list from our doctor.
They will also be flying in, so we asked them to arrive a few days early so we could rule out any bugs before they come visit.
@heavensdaughter We have asked anyone visiting to get the TDaP. Everyone took it fine and my mom and brother both got theirs immediately after. Long before I got mine.
@heavensdaughter Everyone needs to be vaccinated. My brother's boyfriend pushed back and he had to wait until our daughter had her Tdap shot. They ended up breaking up and I still don't regret upsetting him.
@heavensdaughter I insisted on TDAP and flu shots for grandparents, aunts, and uncles with my first, born in 2017. My second was born in late 2019, so I had everyone get flu shots that year, too. Even so, he’s ended up with bronchiolitis twice, and had a hospital stay out of one of those times. 0/10, don’t recommend. With my next baby, due during flu season, I’m going to be even more of a freak about vaccines. (Everyone in our family that I’d ask to get it already had Covid shots, so it’s a non-issue.)
@heavensdaughter Uk person here. Flu jabs aren’t given routinely here unless you’re vulnerable/old/pregnant. We all get whooping cough jabs generally as kids but don’t think boosters are common. Tbh, I would have been looked at like a mad woman if I had asked for vaccine status before introducing anyone to our baby. It has never happened to me before for other friend’s children and didn’t even occur to me as a ‘thing’ until I joined some Reddit groups. Our parents have had their flu shots this year (because they are now old ) but none of our friends have. Besides, it doesn’t stop them getting flu or transmitting it, it just reduces the symptoms. Thinking about it like that, I’d probably rather they hadn’t had it…at least that way, they would know they were ill so be able to keep away.
Edit to add: not even my husband was offered/recommended to have jabs for flu or boosters. Just not a thing here.
@hosee Agree. Whooping cough is less common than flu and the vaccinations you/the baby get (including while pregnant) will protect your baby. In the U.K. they don’t even recommend that the father gets Tdap. I’d save your battles.
). But boundaries are boundaries and she's not crossing them. Period.
) but none of our friends have. Besides, it doesn’t stop them getting flu or transmitting it, it just reduces the symptoms. Thinking about it like that, I’d probably rather they hadn’t had it…at least that way, they would know they were ill so be able to keep away.