I really wish there was more pandemic assistance in place for single parents. We’ve really been left out here on our own and I don’t think it’s been talked about enough. Between the loss of all control over our own schedules due to unexpected closings and protocols, constant exposure to our children’s communities, and the housing market insanity - we are not okay. I’m abandoned by everyone I know the moment myself or my kid sneezes. This has been the most isolating and sickness ridden two years of my life. I’m tired y’all.
Single parents - the forgotten heroes
- Thread starter joseph700
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- single parents vent
chaosensues
New member
@joseph700 I agree 100%.
Once in a previous time before covid
I built up a nice little single mom empire for my little family
I worked hard, saved up, furthered my education, bought a nice house, then….
Boom
Pandemic hit
My particular industry was hit especially hard
I list my job
I ended up losing everything, my home, had to move across the country to be closer to family, my child had a mental health breakdown and I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces there too. I’m starting over at middle age because I used any savings I had to try to keep my home and maintain. I failed.
I’m a failure. Everyday I look in the mirror and hate myself more and more.
I know it wasn’t my fault. Stupid pandemic.
But dual partner families had each other to hang on, at least one could maybe work while the other took care of kids, we had nobody, we had to stretch ourselves in all directions more than usual and now here we are and nobody fucking cares.
Once in a previous time before covid
I built up a nice little single mom empire for my little family
I worked hard, saved up, furthered my education, bought a nice house, then….
Boom
Pandemic hit
My particular industry was hit especially hard
I list my job
I ended up losing everything, my home, had to move across the country to be closer to family, my child had a mental health breakdown and I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces there too. I’m starting over at middle age because I used any savings I had to try to keep my home and maintain. I failed.
I’m a failure. Everyday I look in the mirror and hate myself more and more.
I know it wasn’t my fault. Stupid pandemic.
But dual partner families had each other to hang on, at least one could maybe work while the other took care of kids, we had nobody, we had to stretch ourselves in all directions more than usual and now here we are and nobody fucking cares.
@chaosensues Amen.
My ex literally received raises and a promotion for working through it all because he never had to be exposed. He had his student loans totally forgiven and even received refunds. He bought vehicles, surfboards, and vacations. His favorite lines to hit me with are “Go get a job. Go get a man to take care of you. Go get a life.” While I sit at home with our toddler. I’ve asked him to help because I was sick and needed a break and he says “I don’t want covid.” What a nice luxury to have huh? My thoughts about him and single men have become dangerously homicidal if I’m honest. He’s had zero losses. And no consequences. I can’t move on from hating him because I feel like he’s responsible for destroying my entire life by not being the support he should be.
I didn’t even get unemployment because I was recovering from PPD after my maternity leave when the lockdowns began.
My “best” friends with kids are married and I never heard the end of how hard things were for them to be home all alone doing distance learning while their husbands were at work paying for their houses. And when I lost my home they “didn’t want their children to be affected” by the stress of knowing or sharing space with us and disappeared. They started Etsy shops and took online courses for better at home jobs.
I haven’t had a meal cooked for me once. I’ve paid for every grocery or medicine drop off. Picked up items while sick and carried my toddler into countless stores and got stared at when I had no other option. I feel like I’m living in a personal hell every time I try to socialize with other adults in real life. I’ve never felt so jealous of others in my entire life and I hate it.
My ex literally received raises and a promotion for working through it all because he never had to be exposed. He had his student loans totally forgiven and even received refunds. He bought vehicles, surfboards, and vacations. His favorite lines to hit me with are “Go get a job. Go get a man to take care of you. Go get a life.” While I sit at home with our toddler. I’ve asked him to help because I was sick and needed a break and he says “I don’t want covid.” What a nice luxury to have huh? My thoughts about him and single men have become dangerously homicidal if I’m honest. He’s had zero losses. And no consequences. I can’t move on from hating him because I feel like he’s responsible for destroying my entire life by not being the support he should be.
I didn’t even get unemployment because I was recovering from PPD after my maternity leave when the lockdowns began.
My “best” friends with kids are married and I never heard the end of how hard things were for them to be home all alone doing distance learning while their husbands were at work paying for their houses. And when I lost my home they “didn’t want their children to be affected” by the stress of knowing or sharing space with us and disappeared. They started Etsy shops and took online courses for better at home jobs.
I haven’t had a meal cooked for me once. I’ve paid for every grocery or medicine drop off. Picked up items while sick and carried my toddler into countless stores and got stared at when I had no other option. I feel like I’m living in a personal hell every time I try to socialize with other adults in real life. I’ve never felt so jealous of others in my entire life and I hate it.
chaosensues
New member
@joseph700 Girl I am feeling this, all of this and I feel for you! Damn this has to get better. It just has to.
You are loved
nobody said life is fair but I’m certain something has to give, there is only so much a person can take.
I understand the jealousy part too. Like I have seen my married or couples friends blow through this pandemic and even advance doing the same shit I am trying to do but the difference is they have financial backing and help with kids. Like I’m happy for them on one hand but part of me is humanly green about it because I need that break too, to escape the cycle.
Not gonna lie, I considered the sugar daddy route
Or porn
You are loved
nobody said life is fair but I’m certain something has to give, there is only so much a person can take. I understand the jealousy part too. Like I have seen my married or couples friends blow through this pandemic and even advance doing the same shit I am trying to do but the difference is they have financial backing and help with kids. Like I’m happy for them on one hand but part of me is humanly green about it because I need that break too, to escape the cycle.
Not gonna lie, I considered the sugar daddy route
Or porn
christian3follower
New member
@joseph700 So he's your ex but he should still support you? I don't understand.
texanbybirth
New member
@christian3follower Yes. He’s the father of her child, why wouldn’t he support them??
christian3follower
New member
@texanbybirth Oh support the children. I understand.
@christian3follower This entire thread is about single parenting in the pandemic… are you being a smartass or did you really not understand that a father not being equally responsible for his own child isn’t supportive for anyone?
@christian3follower And I doubt I’ll be able to help you to.
@chaosensues Hi! I care. I’m here to give you a hug if you want. Ive been on mandatory OT due to hospital shortages for over 2 years. Over half my pay check goes to child care. The down payment I had in savings for a house is GONE. I’m constantly fighting an up hill battle. Schools are set to close again because of how bad the cases in my area have gotten which means I go to work at night, get home to relieve the nanny, & get zero sleep again. My 8 yr old has Covid fatigue, my 10 yr old special needs son needs more attention, and I’m freaking TIRED. Ive worked hard, given my all at work, and home. I feel for you. I’m hear for you if you need to vent.
chaosensues
New member
@chaosensues Yes! This! It’s so freaking hard. I had a parent recently tell me she didn’t understand why everyone was so over the pandemic. She’s got 1 kid and a SO that makes 2x what I do. I wanted to tell her she was the minority but just smiled and said, “I hope you don’t have to ever feel the effects of this horrible pandemic.” I know I’m a sarcastic AH for my comment.
@chaosensues Hugs to you. I’m so sorry. This has been difficult for so many single moms - I wish there was more support - but please know you’re seen and I see how hard it’s been and you’re doing a good job, mama!
thewoman2014
New member
@chaosensues You arent a failure. Doing it alone is hard. Atleast you accumulated something
@joseph700 I was fortunate and could keep working from home. But I carry around a level of sheer exhaustion from two years of lockdowns where it was just me and her for endless months and months in our small flat without a garden, while I worked full time and parented full time. Like, that’s not how parenting is supposed to be. Any village I had built up for me and my kid disappeared, and my ex went literally months and months without seeing her. I lost a close family member to covid, and I just feel completely drained right now even though in my country things are opening up. I’m so very tired.
chaosensues
New member
@joseph700 I feel bad for all of you. I am a single mom and my ex put me through financial hell. I have a rare disease and am on disability. My life was so isolated that the good news is that Covid hasn’t changed it much. My kids’ school was a disaster. They got bullied by their private school teachers on zoom. Apparently private schools can get away with this. I was there for 100% of their classes so I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears. One of my kids became suicidal. They are now at a Sudbury school. It is very alternative. Except they aren’t actually going to school because, ya know, Covid would kill me or leave me even worse than I am. So, they have essentially been home for two years. We are okay but not okay at the same time. I thank my lucky stars every day because although my ex stole millions from me, I am am financially solvent and in no danger of losing my home. I have absolutely no family or friends where I am (he made us move and isolated me, straight out of the narcissist’s playbook) but I am so fortunate to be able to afford to live. I plan on Golden Girls-I get it when the kids are gone. You are all invited.
chaosensues
New member
@joseph700 The hardest part is ALWAYS having to power through no matter how you might truly be feeling. Who has this kind of endurance?!
chaosensues
New member
@faeriecat Exactly, we may be superheroes but even superheroes fall at some point