@jebusofdenmark I often feel this way, but then I think about all my friends who have nuclear families and remember they're in the same boat - 2 parents working full time still have to figure it out, and it often falls on mom to pick up the slack (not always, but that's the way society generally leans)
Then I think back to when I was with my daughters father (albeit, only briefly), it was still expected that I would work my schedule around my daughter, because he couldn't (or wouldn't- take your pick).
Of course, it does help to have a two income family where one taking some time off doesn't have so much of an impact financially, so I can definitely see where you might be coming from there.
Point is, I think parenting in general is fkn hard. Society expects parents to be everywhere and do everything - raise kids like we dont work, and work like we dont have kids. We want to do the right thing by our kids, but still maintain our independence and individuality. It's a lot for anyone.
I know it probably doesn't help to solve your problem, so sometimes reframing my thought process like this makes me feel a little bit better.
Hope you find a good solution