@kittymeow1919 The internet is full of bad advice. I nursed my son to sleep for a LONG time. Then I stuck a pacifier in his mouth and put him down. He still slept like crap. I think a lot of the first months of parenting is just about survival and everybody does that differently. I never timed feeds or naps and I held my son for almost every nap during maternity leave. I continued to hold him for weekend naps for months afterwards too! My friend tracks everything in an app, follows a strict schedule, and puts baby down for every nap. Neither is right or wrong, we all do what we feel is best.
Babies have literally been around since the beginning of humanity and I am sure that most people just do what feels right. If nursing your child to sleep feels right for you, do it! You are not destroying your child’s sleep habits. I promise.
@kittymeow1919 I give my LO a bath around 7 every night and cuddle in bed with him and read until he falls asleep. It works every time. Currently trying to break the habit of him sleeping in bed with me after he wakes up to eat
But I love how he watches me while I read and if it helps him sleep I'll never stop!
@kittymeow1919 My toddler didn’t do “drowsy but awake” crap. He’d wake right up, and pissed off. I nursed him to sleep, so we could all sleep and be happier. Then I rocked to sleep because we both loved the cuddles. We eventually got him to go down awake in his crib, we’d sit next to it and hold his hand until he fell asleep (usually takes 10 minutes). Sometimes we still hold him in a chair while he falls asleep. The years go fast, soon he won’t need us to sleep and the cuddles will be less frequent. I’m taking in as much as I can.
@kittymeow1919 “drowsy but awake” … I have never hated a sentence more in my life. My kid falls asleep during dinner if we’ve had a busy day! What am I supposed to do? Shake her awake then put her down? Nah mate. Not happening.
And when they wake up at 4am screaming and crying I’ll just pop my head into their room (she’s 9mo) and tell them to go back to sleep and they’ll listen yeah? No need for cuddles and soothes?
@qiufenn Omg I know ! My baby sleeps on me for all naps so nothing gets done and I don’t sleep either. It takes around 2 hours for me to get her to sleep in the crib at night so there’s no way in hell I’m doing that for each nap !! I’m happy I found some solidarity on this sub!! Keep doing you !!!
@kittymeow1919 I did that too until I was desperate that she wasn't sleeping well at night about 6/7 months it got really bad and I thought it was all my fault for feeding to sleep so long..ugh who really knows and I dont judge other parents for doing what they need to do for their own sanity. Baby is now 14m old mostly sleeping through the night with occasional feedings at 4-6am just so we can get a couple more hours of sleep!
@kittymeow1919 I feel like it all differs from baby to baby anyway. You can't give catch all advice, and if it works for you then don't listen to the internet. I nursed my baby to sleep and he seems fine.
@kittymeow1919 Something my mother keeps saying (which I love and agree), is “you can’t spoil a baby”. I do all of these things with my 6week old. My mother did all those things with her three children. All three of us are hard workers, naturally motivated to get things completed, so I see no spoiled attitude in me or my siblings that would make me think comforting your child to sleep in any way they need a bad thing.
@kittymeow1919 Yeah mama, you do you. I still cuddle and nurse my 17 month old to sleep. Sleep training is for babies to conform to the society we built, not for the health and well being of the baby (IMO of course)
@kittymeow1919 It's so easy to get swept up in the craze of "modern parenting". What keeps me sane is I try to imagine how things were done through the vast majority of human history. Do we think that for most of human history, people followed wake windows and drowsy but awake? They probably didn't even know what time it was, and it wouldn't have been safe to put baby down away from parents. And yet, somehow, humanity has survived.
Modern parenting is directly at odds with evolutionarily advantageous parenting. If your baby likes the modern way, cool! More convenient for you probably. But if they don't follow a schedule and need contact to sleep, congratulations, you have an evolutionarily fit child.
@kittymeow1919 I’m only 3 days into parenthood, but everyone says don’t sleep with your baby on your chest. Welp, already don’t that. I do it super safe where there’s no blanket hazards and I’m shirtless, but like how are you supposed to make a newborn sleep if they want that skin to skin. She goes from screaming to the most soothing noise and then asleep in a second just because she’s monkeyed onto me.
Screw the rules, do what works as long as you make it safe.
@kittymeow1919 Hahah omg. My girl is a clingy CLINGY baby. She’s 7mo now and things are better generally, but damn. For the first few months she would only sleep on top of us. Cluster feeding comes and goes. Her grandmother makes comments like, oh she gets what she wants, she cries and gets what she wants… but she’s a literal baby. Babies can’t manipulate until they’re older, I think about 2? We do what we need to do to survive through the horrible newborn period and keep our babies happy and alive.
@kittymeow1919 I'm still nursing to sleep... and tbh I didn't start it on purpose...but I was told to nurse on demand, so I did, and then boom sometimes he'd fall asleep. Now it's a sleep crutch but I'm still doing it because it's too late now and it's better than him not sleeping at all . As for "put them down drowsy but awake" 1.) Often that's a time slot of 0.3 seconds b.) All it generally did was make him awake and now not drowsy
@kittymeow1919 Drowsy but awake is the biggest nonsense to me. Every baby is different. Mine just needs to be put in pjs and in the basinet with a dim room and she’ll go to sleep alone. She’s two months now but before that she needed to be rocked. Who cares how it’s done as long as it works…googling things frustrated me. There is so much contradictory information!
@kittymeow1919 Im seeing so judgement about other people’s choices by people replying on here, and that’s truly disappointing. As long as baby and family are safe and healthy, people need to parent the way that works for them. We slept trained our son starting at 12 weeks. We did this because I’ve had insomnia most of my life, and the lack of sleep was negatively impacting me and how I felt (PPD worsened with lack of sleep). Not all sleep training says you have to neglect your child. You need to go with your instincts and parent in the way that works for your family. Your child needs love and attachment. Do what works for y’all.
@sth Yes! Some of the things I did to help first kiddo sleep were because I needed sleep and sometimes it’s a good choice for your family. This time I’m trying to get our 8 week old adjusted to “drowsy but awake” because it would be easier on everyone. But sometimes these strategies work, and sometimes they don’t. It depends on you, your family, and especially the kiddo in question.
and I dont judge other parents for doing what they need to do for their own sanity. Baby is now 14m old mostly sleeping through the night with occasional feedings at 4-6am just so we can get a couple more hours of sleep!
. As for "put them down drowsy but awake" 1.) Often that's a time slot of 0.3 seconds b.) All it generally did was make him awake and now not drowsy