Setting up a routine isn’t a priority right now

@tradesman No. That’s also missing the point. I’ve been in OPs shoes. Our first pediatrician wanted us to wean our son at four months and I had social pressure come from all ends to sleep train him. Why? I don’t know. But I ignored it. I fed him on demand. Let him sleep when he needed to. He is a perfect sleeper now and I wouldn’t change a thing.
 
@loreec I’ve mistyped what I meant there. I meant to say ‘could be driving experiences like OPs’ not that’s definitely what’s happening! I just meant socially when people ask about routine I think they’re often asking what your day to day looks like rather than assuming they have something rigid (though could be wrong!).

I have also been pretty much entirely baby led and from talking to friends it feels very baby/ parent variable as to what works for everyone. I can’t really imagine trying to establish a predictable routine pre-4 months and even after then it was based on babies cues and everything was a rough idea of when it may happen. still is really at 13 months.
 
@terrastorm To be honest (FTM of a 3.5 month old), i don’t think anyone in the history of ever has actually established a routine/schedule for infants this young. I truly don’t believe them. Anyone that says they do is either lying to you to feel superior or is trying to sell you something. We have found loose routines/patterns following LO’s lead but the timing is different everyday + things change.

Tl;dr: solidarity ✊🏻
 
@terrastorm We still go with the flow at six months lol. We try to follow wake windows and have naturally settled into a general bedtime/wake up window but trying to set up a rigid routine never worked for us and was a recipe for frustration. If it works for you then keep going.
 
@terrastorm Nah. Only thing my 8 week old does consistently is nothing at all lol. We go to bed between 8-9p every night after a bath. Otherwise naps are everywhere and are dictated by the baby.
 
@terrastorm Pretty certain it’s impossible to have a proper routine at 2 months. My grandma tried telling me I needed to get my baby in a routine at a week old 🙃 you’ll just find your own routine, you probably do have one and just don’t realise it! I slowly ended up finding a successful bedtime for my baby and now I do that bed time the same every night at 3 months, but I’m sure it will change again and not work soon. People expect babies to be like mini adults, it’s very strange. I bet theirs weren’t in a routine at 2 months either.
 
@terrastorm We are nearing 5 months and we barely have a routine. 😂 I found that every time things felt a bit more predictable, my son went through some sort of a developmental phase and everything got turned on its head. Try not to worry about routines too much - just worry about the basics and keeping yourself sane! 🥰
 
@terrastorm We didn’t have a routine until 6 months. We are expecting our second, and I will probably have a routine earlier just because I know more about having a baby now. But still, probably will change often until baby starts eating foods.
 
@terrastorm Do you. Especially at that age, 2 months baby I'd still waking for night feeds so a routine can only do so much. Just go with the flow. That what we do and our daughter is 10months old and we still just go with the flow. I don't have set times for anything, but I know she will get hungry every 3-4hrs during the day. She doesn't have set times for naps during the day, just when she gets tired whomever is watching her puts her down for a nap. And no strict bed time either, usually between 9-10pm. I just let her play until she looks like she is getting tired. Then we go upstairs, put her sleep sack on and I read her a book and hold her as she falls asleep. And if we don't have to get up the next day for work, she will usually sleep to 9-930am. My inlaws were very surprised we didn't have a bedtime for her when we visited for Thanksgiving. And they were even more surprised she slept until at least 9am every day. Their other grandchildren, my nieces, are up at the crack of dawn. Since I have been back to work at 12 weeks, I want to spend as much time as possible with her. So I want her to stay up playing after dinner so we can spend time together. And I have always been a go with the flow type person. So I plan to continue doing what I am doing. Do what works for you and your baby. People will always have comments of what works for them, but that doesn't mean that will work for you.
 
@terrastorm My baby makes her own schedule still at almost 9 months. If it works there's no reason to force her to do things her body doesn't want to do. I'm not going to make her sleep at 9 pm if I don't work and she sleeps from midnight to 11am every night.
 
@terrastorm That’s exactly what I was doing at 2 months and it worked great. Now at 5 months my baby has kind of put herself of a sleep schedule, but also handles it well if that schedules gets messed with. Like this weekend we’re at my parents for Christmas and her whole routine is destroyed but she’s fine. She’s used to the chaos.
 
@terrastorm I could never work a routine.. everyday was a unique day with her. With so many development ( sometimes cluster feeding, extra dirty diapers, fussiness etc) and sleep regressions I wonder how parents even manage that.
 
@terrastorm My kid set his own schedule, at about 4-5 months old. It feels like we've had a routine forever at this point, like I barely remember a point where he didn't have a routine. So I feel like if I was having this conversation with someone I know, my reaction would also be surprised that there isn't a routine yet. But it's only because the first few months are a distant memory to me now - and he's only 10 months old! But yeah at 2 months old, the only routine was making sure the bottles were clean and brezza was restocked when we were ready to sleep, so that when the baby woke up we weren't stuck with a screaming child. Going with the flow was the best thing I ever did. No pressure that way, just focusing on the baby and healing!
 
@terrastorm We didn't have a routine at 2 months either. We were just trying to survive purple crying, still figuring out breastfeeding issues and enjoying his 5h stretch at the beginning of the night - which happened naturally at that time.
Do what's right for you and your family.
 
@terrastorm I let my baby set his own schedule. The only thing I did was do specific things during day/night to get him the hang of being able to distinguish day vs. night. He was able to sleep overnight at 3-4 months. It’s whatever works for YOU. You are doing a great job!
 
@terrastorm First time momma of a 6 month old here and let me tell you, we still go with the flow. Im a SAHM and honestly doing that is so much easier for me then trying to have a rigid schedule. My little one is doing great, sleeps great, and has hit every milestone early. You just gotta do what works best for you and you little one! 😄
 

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