Setting up a routine isn’t a priority right now

[lindiwe]

@terrastorm “Routine” is super vague. I am sure there are things you do every day. You have to gored out how to change a diaper, starting to figure out baby’s needs a bit better. But definitely survival mode.

At five months we have a bit more routine, but nowhere near a schedule yet. At two months, definitely not.

I think people honestly forget. And if they don’t have kids, they have no clue.

 

[derpman]

@terrastorm We settled in a routinie around month 5.

It’s difficult to have a routine with a newborn. In fact, somewhere I read studies show this can contribute to PPA and/or PPD.

What we did and saved us down the line were rituals - short sequences to show baby what follows. But then even those we started after month 2.

You are doing a brilliant job!

 

[christian99]

@terrastorm Do you mean a routine or do you mean a schedule?

I definitely still go with the flow in terms of scheduling his naps and feeding and everything. Everything is on demand. But I do think it’s important to establish a routine, like rituals. It’s something stable to ground you and the baby every day, cues their circadian rhythm to set in, and it’s comforting to be able to expect something every day. A diaper change before a nap, a bath and book sometime before bed, a morning walk, etc.

 

[ngeluq123]

@terrastorm The only thing we introduced at two months was a bedtime, and that was for us parents. It allowed for a little time for us to unwind.

Overall. It doesn’t matter. People will criticize you when you have one or when you do not. It’s what works best for you that matters.

 

[pottu]

@terrastorm My baby is 10 months and we’ve never really had a set schedule. Me and my husband like to go to family dinners a couple times a week which last until 10 pm and baby is awake with us, if she wants to sleep she sleeps. I don’t believe in stop living your lives bc you had a baby. We are also Italian and Italians do everything with their babies. So it’s a different culture altogether.

 

[baodantri]

@terrastorm My baby is 9 months and we're honestly still following his cues. It just works for us. But he's a pretty chill baby and we're pretty chill parents. I think a lot of it depends on temperaments, baby's and parents'.

 

[alexvsh]

@terrastorm I'm a SAHM with second baby - I'm certain that lack of routine isn't hurting your baby. Saying that, I'm assuming / hoping that you're following your babie's cues? Ie help them sleep when they're tired etc. Like following a cycle is good but maybe a routine with set clock times isn't necessary?

Differentiating day and night is good too, low stimulus at night and daylight to wake them between day naps etc.

 

[techknight]

@terrastorm Just winging it with my 3mo, honestly. She's hungry, she eats. She's dirty, she gets changed. She's tired, she naps. We don't even have a semblance of a healthy bedtime routine because she is colicky and a total velcro baby, so my husband and I take shifts staying up to hold her all night. We have set days of the week for bathing, provided she doesn't get messy enough to need them on others, but beyond that we are really just in survival mode.

 

[elgringoviejo]

@terrastorm 5 months here. No routine. We’re all surviving mama

 

[solidus]

@terrastorm We did not even begin to settle into a routine until well after I went to work when baby was 3 months old! Then it only happened out of necessity.

It is totally normal to not have an established routine with a baby so young. I tried around 1-2 months but it simply was not feasible. Baby was not having it at all. Do not sweat it! You will figure it out naturally with time.

 

[timberduck]

@terrastorm By 2 months our son had a routine he had to he was getting ready to go to daycare. In bed by 830 bath mwf up at 6am as my husband took him to daycare he had to be to work at 730. Bottles every 3 hours, and we killed night time feedings by 3 months so that worked out for us. So yes it is bad in theory to have them on a schedule so young, but this is what works for us and still at 1 years old it still works, down side he doesn't sleep in on the weekends but that's fine.

 

[danjor4jesus]

@terrastorm Schedule at 2 months? That’s a joke, gimme a break. Going with the flow is the only sensible option.

 

[lovefaithhopeinjesus]

@terrastorm Were at 18 months and never had an actual routine. I hate the idea of it because it doesnt allow baby to be flexible. For example today she had her nap at 5 pm. Ideally i try ti get her down between 1-3 but she adjusted fine to the nap being later because shes flexible

 

[kez4941]

@terrastorm I get the total opposite. I tell people I have a routine and they say I shouldn’t let baby dictate my schedule I have a 6 month old. We tried to follow certain steps but not necessarily a time earlier on.

For future sleep, it could be helpful to start setting up some simple steps of things you do before bed time whenever that is and that time will definitely vary (bath, bottle, story time, sound machine, lights dimmed/off, place in sleeping area, etc) or nap time (change diaper, darken nap area, sound machine, etc). This could be helpful in creating positive and sustainable sleep associations. To me this routines are different than a time schedule. These routines aren’t about a specific time or wake window.

But my personality likes steps I can follow so it worked well for me. I think you should do what enables you to survive. You are doing awesome!

 

[christfollower1993]

@terrastorm We're at nearly 11 months and any routine we get into has been driven by her and she ends up changing it after a month or two anyway. When she was that little, the "routine" was diaper check, feed, sleep. We added more play and activities in between as she stays awake longer. But mostly take things day by day. Now with solids added in, sometimes she nurses before a nap, sometimes after. We have a bedtime routine, but it's just bath (no soap usually), a book or two, nurse. Nothing super complicated. You figure out what works along the way. I truly don't think I could force a strict routine or schedule. I know people who give their baby naps by the clock. If they don't sleep, they don't get a nap. If they're still asleep at the end, wake them to stick to the schedule. It never felt right to me to do that and I truly think it wouldn't work with my baby and she would be miserable. Babies are all different and parents are different. The only thing that I've stuck to is doing what feels right. The advice is all over the place and people have strong feelings. Do what feels right, you know your baby best.

 

[bessawa]

@terrastorm Ignore the looks.

I think the vast majority of people with older kids mix the whole first year of milestones together. And if not, they made themselves and their babies miserable trying to implement a routine because that was what they were pressured to do.

Like the rest of the folks on here, do what works for you and your baby. Read their cues and respond. Routine will come over time.

 

[frit]

@terrastorm We are at two months, and we can't let him lead. The guy won't sleep, it's been hell. We have to try, very hard, a lot, to get him to sleep, otherwise he's up for 8 hours. Sucks so bad to have to be worried about being over tired, and now under tired cuz we are trying to stick to 90 min max wake windows.

 

[frit]

I just realized I didn't add anything at all to this convos other than venting, sorry about that lol.

 

[brokenloner]

@terrastorm we fell into routines around 6mo. until then it was just freestyle

 

[parad0xical]

@terrastorm Mine is 4 months today. She doesn't have a routine yet. She sleeps when she wants, she eats when she wants. I'm not going to fight with her to make her sleep as it can go on for hours. No. I go with the flow and honestly it's been a real breeze. A missed nap is not the end of the world.