Just found out I’m having twins. I have a 1 and a 3 year old already and the panic is setting in

[preston354]

@lalue I have twins and twins and they are 18 months apart, so I had 4 under 2. I was still in the baby stage when I had the 2nd set so it was easy to just keep the flow going. There were 2 things I did to make life easier for both me and the 1st set. I immediately set a newborn feeding schedule that worked with the others schedule. I knew the first set got up @6am and would want to eat between 6:30-7am. I was up at 5:30 and showered (I can’t function without one). Newborns slept while older 2 got up, changed and sat down with breakfast. Newborns then got up, changed and fed. Setting a schedule like this set my day up for success. Having a schedule meant I could make time for everyone, could get out of the house for appointments and walks and make life easier for family that babysat because I still went to my coaching job in the afternoons.
It can be done!

 

[pj62]

@preston354 Your a hero, this is amazing. 4 babies and working! Kudos to you, I’m in awe

 

[beefreetwo]

@pj62 I’m also in awe

 

[katrina2017]

@lalue I can’t relate on the 4 under 4. My son was 9 when we found our about our twins so we’ve been lucky with the spacing. What I can relate to is the “wtf” feeling. When I found out I was having twins, it was because I was in the hospital from severe dehydration in my first trimester. I already knew I was pregnant but they did an ultrasound to confirm pregnancy- lo and behold they found the reason why I was more sick than I remembered with my singleton! Twins!

I was so sick that I couldn’t even bring any excitement up, just added misery. I was so damn sick. I had hyperemesis, which is more common in multiple pregnancies due to the extra hormones, and everyone was really excited to hear about twins. My husband, most of all, was absolutely tickled because he wanted two more kids but I had only agreed to one more pregnancy and then told him we could consider adoption if he still wanted a third. He’s a loving guy but he wasn’t completely sold on the idea of adopting so of course finding out we were having twins put him on cloud nine.

It seemed like everyone else was SOOOO happy but all I could do was lay there, sicker than a dog thinking “wtf am I going to do with twins??”

My husband saved the text messages where I told him “fuck you” and called him an asshole for getting me pregnant with twins to which he replied that it wasn’t his fault that I dropped more than one egg

I was able to feel much more excited about them when I got past my first trimester because I was so sick. Give yourselves time for it to sink in. My twins are 4 months old now and it still blows my mind.

 

[lawrenceryan]

@lalue OP i agree that's there's another of work. Son was 18 months when daughters arrived

I never thought my life was hell though. The older child will be of great assistance.

Teach her or him now how to bring you diapers. That is huge.

Arrange a regular break. Every day or so, even for a half hour. Bath, sleep, walk, read, whatever. This is your time.

And it doesn't last long, it changes along the way.

You'll be fine. Really uou will. Don't cling to the negative comments posted.

The rewards are immense.

 

[rorycunningham]

@lalue I had 3 under 2 and my twins were definitely a surprise...I did a single embryo transfer and had a simulatenous spontaneous conception.

The twins are 22 months now and not counting germs and teething, 20 months is when I really started to feel were rounding a corner. There are definitely still moments if I can't believe there are three if them.

We did a lot of the twin night time survival staregies you will read and ran zone a lot of the time. We pretty much avoided doing 3 on 1 until the pandemic forced our hand (twins were around 8 months). My husband became a full time stay at home spouse and it was not an easy transition, but we survived! The kids are thriving! One day at a time.

 

[ratnaturelover]

@rorycunningham I also had 3 under 2 and agree that around 20mo it started to feel like this is life, not just a shit show each day. The twin boys are now 25mo and my daughter just turned 4.

 

[endtimesaware]

@lalue My wife and I had our first kids, a set of B/G twins, a month ago, and we're already decided - no more kids. We love the two we have will all of our hearts and we're thrilled, but no more kids. We're supremely fortunate to have one of each, at the same ages, so that we never have to deal with different stages at the same time and they'll go to the same school together etc. No more kids.

 

[riposa]

@lalue Can't speak to 4 under 4, but did have 3 under 3. My older daughter was 28 months old when the twins were born (a year ago this week).

Things we did to prepare her to be a big sister were talking up how much fun it would be to be a big sister and working on sharing/taking turns, because she wasn't used to having to wait. I put her to bed about half the week, so she would sit on my lap like usual, but we would do two books instead of one -- one for her, and a board book to "read to the babies."

We had anticipated that she would be curious or confused, but she was too little to understand/want to feel them kicking or ask the "where do babies come from/how do they come out of mommy's tummy" questions. We thought she would care about the sex -- my parents tell me when I was a little older than she was that I was very opinionated about wanting a brother when my mom was having my little sister -- but she hadn't really established a concept of sex or gender yet, so it was just "two babies."

Once the babies were here, we tried to give Big Sister some sense of ownership -- like when we set up the cribs in the kids' shared room, we let her pick their sheets and decide which baby would go in which crib. She helped pick their jammies each night, grab the diaper from the box if we were changing diapers while she was home, etc.

All the twin books will tell you to lean on "your village" and get help lined up for the first few weeks. Our "village" was locked down for COVID when we came home with the twins, and even our regular supports disappeared when daycare closed. So I'm here to tell you that you can do it by yourself if you have to. It's hard AF, but it's possible. And if you are lucky enough to have a village to depend on, lean on them -- it will make it a lot easier.

 

[mhiriam]

@lalue We are actually in a similar situation with our children (ages and total number). Our pregnancy was planned, but we didn't expect twins. It's totally crazy, but we love all of our kids!

We talked up the twins to the older kids the entire pregnancy to make them excited about the babies that were coming. We set up some baby things a little earlier and started teaching the older kids to not throw toys in bassinets and not climb in them and such. I started teaching my children to climb on a chair to give me hugs, or hold my hand to go places instead of me picking them up since I wasn't going to be able to pick them up for a while after the delivery.
When it was time for the babies to come, my husband's and my parents were a huge help, babysitting the older children while we were in the hospital. I made up a document of my "usual day" with the older kids for the grandparents to have as reference for meal times, nap/bed times, and favorite foods if they wanted it.

As for how the older kids reacted, they mostly liked to check on the babies occasionally and then go about playing. They could get a little jealous when I was tied up with the babies, but they were pretty good usually. There was/is a lot of reminding them not to get too close to the babies unless they are being very gentle and an adult is there to help them.

Is does feel pretty crazy, so if people ever offer help, don't hesitate to take them up on it. My wonderful MIL comes up about once a week to help me watch the kids or let me run out for errands or whatever. Sometimes she takes the older kids for a few hours and I can have some quality time with the babies, and other times we do the opposite.

I recommend having your bag packed for the hospital a bit early as well. I went into labor and had my babies about 6 weeks early. Best of luck! We are rooting for you and yours!

 

[gilbert_godfree]

@lalue We are two weeks in to having twins with a 3 and 2 year old at home!

My greatest advice so far, stay the course with your current routines as much as possible. We talked to our kids the entire pregnancy about their brothers coming, kept them engaged, had them say good night to them in the belly, etc. They couldn’t wait to meet them! We also made each of them little baskets from “the brothers” to make them feel special too

 

[gilbert_godfree]

Oh, also, feed them both at the same time. If one wakes to eat, wake the other. Otherwise you will be in a constant state of feeding with no time to sleep.

 

[randomallocation1]

@lalue I'm currently expecting twins and have an almost 2 year old and almost 1 year old. We will soon have 4 under 3! No advice to give since they aren't here yet, but it's nice to know someone else is doing the 4 under 3/4 thing as well lol

 

[dokimas]

@lalue This was thirty years ago. Friends of ours had twins they wanted to three kids total. They tried and instead of 3 kids they had 5. Triplets they had second time around. The twins were 28 months old. Dad ran and got snipped right after that. LOL