@spiritualgrowth I think it might just be a failure to communicate or a difference in family dynamics or culture. It's really common in some families that everyone, even kids, bathe every day. The idea of not giving a bath to someone staying in their house might not even really register, and thus, giving a bath wouldn't even be on the radar as inappropriate. Same with kids so young of different genders.
I'd talk to your daughter and to J about it. Find out if your daughter felt forced or uncomfortable. If not, then have a talk with J about your expectations, though do so in a way that is not accusatory.
I'd talk to your daughter and to J about it. Find out if your daughter felt forced or uncomfortable. If not, then have a talk with J about your expectations, though do so in a way that is not accusatory.