R.I.P. Old Life
- Thread starter theadmiral
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- stay-at-home parents
katrina2017
New member
@theadmiral My kids are 3 and 6 so I'm not sure if you'd call them older, but they are independent enough that I can function more.
My husband and I have tried our best to make sure we have equal no kid times. So if he has soccer one night, I have a night out knitting with friends. This made things a bit nuts precovid and I don't think we'll go back to that because we had stuff every night of the week and most weekends. Even though it was crazy busy, I definitely felt like it helped a lot in me maintaining a sense of me being me.
Another thing that really helps is vacations. We try to do one big trip a year. For whatever reason these are really important to me and we try to do them with no kids. We did Italy with just the big kid, Barcelona with me and two kids no husband, Denmark with just the baby, BC with no kids and then with the baby, and next we are going to be doing a bunch of European countries with no kids. For me this really helps because they are things I want to do just for me. I want to see all these places and by doing these trips I feel like I am growing as a person and it really regenerates me so I can be better at home. Obviously I realise we are super lucky to be able to afford these things and we are lucky to be able to choose not to do other things in order to afford these trips (we have one old car we almost never use, never buy anything new, almost never eat out, opted for a smaller less expensive house, etc. so those savings more than cover the cost of vacations).
My husband and I have tried our best to make sure we have equal no kid times. So if he has soccer one night, I have a night out knitting with friends. This made things a bit nuts precovid and I don't think we'll go back to that because we had stuff every night of the week and most weekends. Even though it was crazy busy, I definitely felt like it helped a lot in me maintaining a sense of me being me.
Another thing that really helps is vacations. We try to do one big trip a year. For whatever reason these are really important to me and we try to do them with no kids. We did Italy with just the big kid, Barcelona with me and two kids no husband, Denmark with just the baby, BC with no kids and then with the baby, and next we are going to be doing a bunch of European countries with no kids. For me this really helps because they are things I want to do just for me. I want to see all these places and by doing these trips I feel like I am growing as a person and it really regenerates me so I can be better at home. Obviously I realise we are super lucky to be able to afford these things and we are lucky to be able to choose not to do other things in order to afford these trips (we have one old car we almost never use, never buy anything new, almost never eat out, opted for a smaller less expensive house, etc. so those savings more than cover the cost of vacations).
george134679
New member
@theadmiral I find that if I take time to craft/do a hobby in the evening or during nap I feel a lot more like me again.
It’s hard with the pandemic when you can’t go out really. So finding various hobbies has been the best way to feel good.
I just ordered an adult paint by numbers and a makers crate from kiwi co to switch it up. I started to learn the ukulele and felt so good after doing a lesson the other day. I also took up sewing and am very into that.
It’s hard with the pandemic when you can’t go out really. So finding various hobbies has been the best way to feel good.
I just ordered an adult paint by numbers and a makers crate from kiwi co to switch it up. I started to learn the ukulele and felt so good after doing a lesson the other day. I also took up sewing and am very into that.
katrina2017
New member
@george134679 Hobbies definitely were the turning point for me. At the 2 year mark with my first and the 1 year mark with my second (kids are now 3 and 14 months) I started feeling the itch to get back into my hobbies. I'm feeling a lot more like myself. Honing my skills is making a big difference in my self esteem. I finally feel like my brain isn't melting away. I just spent the last week coming up with and making a bunch of activities to use to help with my 3 year old's speech therapy and I feel sharper and more on top of things than I've felt in the last 4 years!