Pregnancy After Miscarriage is a Mind F***

@sixskinners Totally get it and you are not alone. I miscarried my first pregnancy and didn’t know until we went to the doctors and there was no heartbeat. Every cramp, any discomfort at all, anything you put in your mouth.. so highly scrutinized. Then the doctors visits themselves are like mini flashbacks. I wish I could say it got better but it never went away for me, not until the baby was born. It was traumatic. Obv none of that is helpful but hopefully it does make you feel a little less crazy.
 
@sixskinners It is awful. This is exactly how I'm feeling today. It was a VERY hard day emotionally. Our first appointment is next week and I'm sick with the fear. Coping has not been easy today but I had to pull it together for my 2 year old who also had a bad emotional day at daycare. I'm completely drained and lonely from trying to emotionally survive the day and work, cook for my picky toddler and soothe his big emotions while navigating the trauma of being in my first trimester.
 
@sixskinners Currently going through it. I had two healthy pregnancies, then wrongfully assumed I'd have the same luck with baby #3... only for it to be a missed miscarriage. I was pregnant again within two months of that and just when I was starting to feel like I could let my guard down a little, I had a massive subchorionic hematoma that ruptured at the exact time I lost my previous pregnancy. My baby is healthy at 18 weeks now, but I'm constantly checking for blood and questioning everything I do. I haven't even been able to enjoy this pregnancy because I'm so completely terrified. I don't think I'll actually relax until she's in my arms.
 
@sixskinners Im going through this now. I’ve had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy in the past 3 years and I’m now currently 26 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy.

The first trimester was extremely hard. I didn’t let myself get excited. I didn’t buy anything. I didn’t tell anyone until like 14 weeks. It was filled with anxiety the entire time. Once I hit 12 weeks, it calmed down a little.

The way I controlled mine was saying daily affirmations like:
- I am pregnant with a healthy baby unless told otherwise.
- no amount of worrying can change the future.
- different pregnancy, different outcome.
- hope doesn’t make bad things happen. I can not jinx my pregnancy.
- being fearful of loss and expressing those fears will not cause loss.

I also prayed over my belly every day and still do.

I’ve been feeling the baby kick since about 18 weeks and that has also helped with my anxiety (even though some days I’m stressing because the baby isn’t as active haha) but I still look at my toilet paper every single time I wipe.

Just lean on your support system and take time out of your day to just breathe and compose yourself when needed.
 
@sixskinners Been there, for the first three months I literally checked my underwear every 15 minutes for blood, TMI I know but sorry, no better way I can think of to say it. I was obsessed. I also took care of a kid who was 26 lbs at the time, didn't want to be put down for a second. I told myself if I am happy the baby is happy and if it's happy then it has no reason to want to "leave" you know, so I literally spent every single day doing things that made me happy, watched comedies, ate whatever I wanted lol, and ended up with 9.5 lbs super healthy and super happy baby. Best wishes for you and the baby darling. It'll be just fine, you'll see. ❤️
 
@sixskinners I had the same problem. I checked my Apple Watch several times per minute. I got a Doppler, I paid extra ultrasounds. It was a nightmare for me and my husband. I feel you and I’m so so sorry
 
@sixskinners 24 weeks right now and like other comments have mentioned - I STILL check for blood every time I wipe, I STILL expect every twinge or pain to be "a sign of the end," and every bowel movement i think "okay, this is it, this is that miscarriage/early labor ive been freaking out about, its here-"🥲

But my baby is healthy, I am healthy, and we're almost there 🙏 Every time he kicks all the stress melts away (it comes back right after he quits the boxing match but STILL 😂😅)

This shit sucks. But there's a lot of hope and happy moments to go around ❤️
12 weeks is a huge milestone, and personally I felt my baby kick at 14-15 weeks so you're not far off from the little flutters!! Once they start wiggling it'll help a bit, but I think we're all doomed to be stressing the whole time unfortunately 😅🫠❤️‍🩹
 
@sixskinners I bawled when I found out I was pregnant with twins after losing my little girl at 15 weeks. The only thought that went through my mind was "I can't even keep one alive. How am I suppose to do it with 2?" I was a hot mess and so stressed about everything for those first 15 weeks. It got a little easier when I was over that 15 week mark, but I found that if I set little goals for myself it helped. My double rainbows are almost 2 now and I'm 36 weeks pregnant with their little brother. I will never forget my angel, but I know my boys already have someone watching out for them.
 
I appreciate all of you so much for taking the time to comment and share your experiences. Sorry for the late response (toddler life is lit)!

I am 35, turning 36 one month before my due date so I am considered AMA (advanced maternal age) which is AMAzing, I also tend to have gestational diabetes, and am considered obese so, having had the miscarriage a year ago just pushes me over the edge. It's all out of my control and I do attend talk therapy once a week but I don't know how helpful it is in those moments of cramping and twinges. The NIPT test was reassuring and I have another ultrasound tomorrow.

Once I put my pre-existing crotch gremlin to bed, I plan to reply to folks individually because you're all too incredible for all of the love! ❤️
 
@sixskinners I have had four miscarriages now and am so anxious about the next one. But I am determined I want to try one more time as I don’t have kids and I have always wanted them. I lost the first three before I had my first ultrasound. With the first I was seeing a specialist and was so excited to see the heart beat and have that ultrasound pic to take home! Just before my 9 week appointment I got really nervous and paranoid b/c I lost them all around 8 to 9 weeks and sure enough when I went for the 9 week apt there was no heart beat. I was devastated. Now I fear there will be no real way to enjoy a pregnancy for fear of another loss. The specialist thinks I might get to term b/c they have found the reason I have lost them. I hope things get better for you and that you do get a chance to enjoy your pregnancy once again. Just know you have support out there. Wishing you the best and a happy healthy baby!
 
@sixskinners I’m with you, and I had 3 healthy babies, but now two losses and it is impossible for me to believe everything will be ok this time. I’m 22 weeks and it is getting better as I can feel more movement and I’ve had more tests/ultrasounds, but I’m not sure I’ll believe she’s ok even after birth.
 
@sixskinners Oh 100% sometimes it freaks me out when I can't feel the baby moving for extended periods so I would go start of with ice cold drink and lay on my left side if that's not working I start eating sweet stuff 😅 and by the time she is moving I feel like a pig.

It's normal to be nervous or even paranoid but just keep telling yourself everything is okay and take it day by day
 
@sixskinners I get this all to well, I miscarried back in August and managed to get pregnant right after. The joy I had before is there slightly, but it’s covered in PTSD and worry/anxiety. I’m 26 weeks and I’m still stressing about if my baby is alive, if my body is protecting her, constant ER visits when shes being a picky lil bean and not kicking. I would suggest a Doppler, it helps me keep myself at ease when I can’t get my bean to move. The anxiety doesn’t go away. I can’t come up with anything to even say to make it better for myself or others in the same situation, I just keep praying and hoping and I’m not the religious type. What will be, will be and god, our babies will be! 🩷 Sending positive energy, and loooots of cake eating to get past the stress 😂
 
@sixskinners I am currently pregnant and sometimes wonder the same thibg, whether my baby's still okay or not. I'm so sorry you had to endure such a painful experience, both physically and emotionally, and I wish you the best. Something that I've looked into that helps other moms-to-be to be more assured that their baby is okay is purchasing a fetal doppler on Amazon, so you can check your babies heart rate. Hope that helps :)
 
@sixskinners I miscarried my twins in 2020, and when I got pregnant with my baby in 2022, I had the same fears the entire pregnancy, but gave birth to a beautiful girl. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with another baby, and I am less anxious than with my previous pregnancy if that helps you. I still think about it and get worried, but that’s natural; it’s our momma bear instincts to worry that much. I think it’s a lifelong thing after you become a mother.
 
@sixskinners Yes I can relate so much, I have a 3yr old who’s 35lbs and is still the baby of the family, I miscarried last October 2023 and I’ve finally made it to the second trimester with this pregnancy but same every little cramp it’s the first thing that pops into my head I just try to push the negative thoughts out and not let it consume me too much because then im just a anxious wreck but reminding myself “I’m thankful, I’m thankful to be blessed with such beautiful amazing children, I’m thankful to be pregnant and 18 weeks pregnant” that sort of thing I know it’s not easy at all especially after a miscarriage but give yourself grace and patience and love ♥️
 
@nibru My midwife has told me to never get a home doppler as people usually aren't trained in how to use it, which can result in false reassurance or increased anxiety or even obsession with checking. I can see how it would help though
 
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