Pregnancy After Miscarriage is a Mind F***

[daniel1961]

@sixskinners 37 weeks and I still check for blood every time I pee. I’ve checked every single time (and I really do mean every time) since I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks. It’s exhausting having so much anxiety and I truly feel for you OP. My MC was almost a decade ago so I can’t imagine how it feels just a year on from yours.

Have you spoken to any of your antenatal team about your fears? I didn’t speak to anyone about it until more recently and I wish I had sooner because now I’m having anxiety about things going wrong even once baby is born (I don’t want to upset anyone so I won’t go into detail but I’ve had some awful nightmares etc). I’d really strongly consider asking for a referral to antenatal mental health for some support, in my experience they’re very understanding!

 

[taylorjr94]

@sixskinners I feel you so much on this. I have a healthy 18 month old, but suffered a very unexpected missed miscarriage last October. I’m now 15 weeks (tomorrow) with our rainbow baby. Everything makes me second guess the health of this pregnancy. I just recovered from the stomach flu over the weekend, landed myself in the ER due to dehydration, and really thought that was it. Baby girl was just fine on both my checks.

The thing I tell myself every day is that today I am pregnant and I have no reason to think otherwise. I think I heard it from mommy labour nurse on Instagram or something? I also use it as a mantra when I get scared. Truth is, sometimes they do unfortunately happen for no apparent reason except there was some random chromosomal issue.

I share in your fear, your excitement, and all the feelings in between. Congrats on this baby and I hope that, like myself, it gets easier every day until our bundles safely arrive in our arms.

 

[twhi]

@sixskinners Oh yes.. that was horrible. I had a miscarriage a year before falling pregnant with my daughter. I was worried about everything.. if I felt anything I checked for blood, I went to the hospital a fair few times (I did have complications in the third trimester bc of my placenta). I was so fucking sick I was scared, I didn't get a bump so I was scared of that, I lost weight, I was terrified for every single scan. It really was horrible. But my daughter is now almost 14 months!

 

[galations]

@sixskinners It didn't go away until I had the baby in my arms. Only then it moved to being anxious about whether she's breathing or not. I will say it did get better once she started moving and I could feel her. I still had a scare almost weekly when I wouldn't feel her for a couple of hours and was poking my stomach to make her move.

 

[lianap]

@sixskinners I had a miscarriage( it was my first baby after couple of years trying) end of January and TTC ever since

 

[samanthanoahb85]

@sixskinners I feel like the biggest thing is time. I had a missed miscarriage 2 years ago, and then wasn't getting pregnant again and went to fertility treatment, which at first wasn't successful either, the doctor actually recommended considering donor eggs. So when I got pregnant back in November through IUI and got the "congrats" call from the nurse, it didn't feel real at all, it felt like I was just waiting for something to go wrong. I felt like that until I got a good first ultrasound, and then my next worry was chromosome issues. As things have gone smoothly, and I'm now 22 weeks, the anxiety has eased up a ton. However I feel like I have a real trauma response from going to my prenatal appointments, I get so nervous. My Obgyn team is wonderful, but since it's the place where I got the miscarriage news, it feels like an automatic response to get scared. All together I feel like at this point I feel ok, but the previous miscarriage still has an impact on me.

The other thing that's helped me is therapy. I've been in therapy for years so this isn't a new process for me. But my therapist has really challenged me on my thoughts that things won't go well, and that is helpful.

 

[kristen_prays]

@sixskinners I'm right there with you. I miscarried 5 months ago and I just made it to over 6 weeks but of course I freak out about everything. Though I have had some brown spotting so we will see if this one stays. If I lose this pregnancy, I think I'm done trying because the worry is just to much.

 

[justmeandme]

@sixskinners I’m 8 weeks today and just got my ultra sound. The doctor said it will likely end in miscarriage sometime between now and the next 4 weeks. So now I’m doing the same thing you are, but waiting for it to happen. It has only been 5 hours since the appointment but I’m pretty sure to be joining you in the ptsd front.

 

[sixskinners]

@justmeandme I am so, so sorry! My best friend had a similar experience and had to get a D&C, it was awful - you are not alone in that either.

If you want to have children or more children; don't give up! It will haunt you, but if you want it, we just have to take the risk. It will be awful and you will have intrusive thoughts but the only thing that's helped me is taking it one day at a time.

 

[sir_cumference]

@sixskinners Yes someone who gets it!! I’m currently 39 weeks getting ready to have my rainbow babe. I haven’t peed without checking the toilet paper since I’ve been pregnant. It seriously f**** with your head. Every US was a huge milestone, but it only put my mind at ease for a few days before I’d think something was wrong again. I’ve gotten waaaaay better since earlier in my pregnancy but even now, if i don’t feel the baby move as much as i think she should, i start having a bit of a panic attack. I don’t think I’ll be truly at ease until she’s in my arms! The only advice I have is that if you truly feel in your gut something is wrong, call your doctor and at the very least they can listen with Doppler. Luckily i work in radiology and had an US tech right down the hallway if i felt something was off and they were always happy to reassure me.

 

[cortiz26]

@sixskinners I'm at 14 weeks. I miscarried last summer at 10 weeks. I'm in the same boat. Every movement or bump I'm worried I'm losing the baby. Last night I sneezed and my belly cramped up a bit. I was so worried. I got a doppler to curve the fears a little. It hasn't helped. I can hear the babys heartbeat healthy and strong. But the minute I turn it off, I'm panicking. It feels like nobody understands it because when I vent to friends and family they tell me "Baby is fine. Stop worrying so much." But they don't get it. I thought everything was fine with my last pregnancy and suddenly it was over and I was bleeding buckets and depressed for months. The sight of a baby or baby things made me bawl. The thought of a baby made me bawl. It's terrifying not being able to see or hear the baby 24/7. Worried they're just gonna stop existing. I have yet to figure out how to deal with this. I'm sure the feeling won't leave til baby is in my arms happy and healthy.

 

[isabelle550223]

@sixskinners This is normal I have this w my current pregnancy and I’m currently 39 weeks .. TW I also have it too because my sister had a stillborn last year so everything gives me anxiety, any symptom gives me anxiety

 

[gaz54au]

@sixskinners It’s definitely not easy I’m 38 weeks and check for blood and cramps terrify me but she’s healthy and that’s all I can really ask for.

 

[zee1]

@sixskinners That anxiety never went away for me. I’ve had 2 healthy children since my miscarriages and i was terrified both pregnancies. The whole time. And I’m afraid to get pregnant again.

 

[grapheme]

@sixskinners Have you spoken to your OB about anxiety? Mine referred me to a counselor that specializes in pregnancy and post-partum anxiety, and got me back on meds that are safe for pregnancy. (I had gone off my not pregnancy safe anxiety meds when I got pregnant)

Also, for me, I found a local 3d ultrasound place. They also do 2d so between appts when I feel particularly anxious, I can schedule myself a private ultrasound for peace of mind.

 

[christianterp23]

@sixskinners I’m in a similar boat as you. As I obsessively read through pregnancy and miscarriage Reddit, I am mentally suffering after two MCs over the past 2 years. My first pregnancy was successful and now they’re a crazy almost 5 year old. My OB did have faith as I did have one successful pregnancy. I’m currently almost 8 weeks and I’m constantly checking for blood and trying not to assume I’ve lost my peanut. Just take it a day at a time and you’re pregnant until a health professional tells you otherwise. I never truly realized how stressful and terrifying it is to have a rainbow baby but good lord!

 

[romanticcode]

@sixskinners The subreddit r/pregnancyafterloss was very helpful for me it is definitely an odd experience and high anxiety levels are normal

 

[alwaysanxious]

@sixskinners I went through this. Had a miscarriage a year and some ago. Delivered my baby this week. You can do it. Just try to worry less, get rest and take care of you. I was also scared to pick up my 5 year old. I told him mommy was pregnant and cannot pick you up right now.

 

[mcflyguy22]

@sixskinners Had a miscarriage an exact year apart from my current pregnancy. It was not a planned pregnancy, so I was in the middle of trying out different BC at the time. Had no idea I got pregnant inbetween, because all I did was bleed for 5 months with only a few days in-between. Even knowing that it was accidental and it would have been hard to know, it makes this planned pregnancy sooo scary. 34wks and still overthink every bump, smell, and nap time she takes.

You aren't alone. No matter how or when you miscarried, you will always worry about your next pregnancy. It's good though, embrace being cautious, because it means you care and this baby will be loved so much. If you are doing everything you can within your capabilities, then that's literally all you can do. A miscarriage could happen, yes, but it isn't your fault. If you aren't drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. If you are eating well and being mindful of your health, then everything else is out of your hands. It's so scary and nothing is going to make you worry less, but you still have a life to live and family to take care of.

I wish you and your family all the best.

 

[janerollag]

@sixskinners Im 16w now and every moment baby doesn’t move or my boobs are slightly less painful, I panic. Im so tense my neck has been hurting for days and I can’t really sleep - today I had a horrible migraine because of the stiff neck and couldn’t work. I’m trying really hard to calm down at least so I can rest and get rid of pains. I have a home Doppler because I couldn’t not check between the scans, although it doesn’t really mean anything other than baby having a heartbeat (I know midwives don’t recommend so we don’t rely on them heavily). I’m thinking of going back to acupuncture as I don’t think I can manage the stress on my own any longer