@sixskinners this isn’t really a solution but more of an “i feel you” type thing.. & i don’t talk ab it much. but i unknowingly got pregnant in late august last year & it passed 4 weeks later. i didn’t realize my period wasn’t a period until i just.. didn’t stop bleeding. watched the tests fade over the next week. another 4 weeks later, i was pregnant again (i had only had sex once & it was my husband & i’s way of coping i think) i never had time to process the first pregnancy/loss. & even though i’m nearly 30 weeks now with my current baby, it’s hard not to fear a loss like that again, i felt very guilty for not even knowing ab the first.. but with this baby, the first trimester i was daily checking the miscarriage odds site, the second trimester i was desperstely waiting to start feeling kicks & using an at home doppler whenever i worried, just telling myself “make it to 24” then “make it 28”, now i’m in my third & waiting for the kicks & counting them fills me w immense anxiety- i’m so thankful to have a very active baby, except for the moments she’s resting & i worry. now i keep telling myself that i need to enjoy my pregnancy in these last 10 weeks before she’s here & i’ve worried the whole time.
i really think counting the weeks is the only way i’ve dealt with the anxiety. reminding myself of another post i saw once where a redditor commented “you’re pregnant until the doctors say otherwise” & i reminding myself that if i worry so much i’ll only suffer twice if something were to happen again.
@sixskinners I am going through this as well. I lost my daughter at 19w in 2021 and miraculously got pregnant again after being told I couldn’t conceive again with this one.
Every cramp I feel I think something is wrong with this baby. Every time I wipe, I am checking for blood, every time I don’t feel the pop rocks of the baby moving (that started at 10+6, I’m 11+6 now) I flip out until I feel it again.
I posted my concerns on the BabyCenter forum, where multiple people assured me that this is normal, as did my midwife.
@sixskinners I’ve never had a miscarriage but had infertility issues and felt that way through my whole pregnancy. Even after he was born i had extreme paranoia and went on anxiety meds
@sixskinners I feel so seen reading this. I got unexpectedly pregnant in 2022 and immediately miscarried. I was told by my doctor that it was my fault because I drank too much coffee and it caused my uterus to contract and essentially go into labor (I was 8 weeks and had 0 symptoms so I had no idea I was even pregnant). I’ve had tremendous guilt ever since and it’s taken me a long time to work up the courage to try again. I’m 10 weeks pregnant now and I overthink every little thing I do and every symptom. I’m trying so hard to be positive but I’ve had this sinking feeling that this baby won’t make it.
All of this to say- I feel you and you’re not alone. Pregnancy is a roller coaster on a good day and we have no choice but to stay on the ride. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping for peace of mind.
@sixskinners i feel you. we lost a twin over labor day. didn’t know i was still pregnant. when i found out later i was paranoid every time something felt diff. she’s ten months old now.
@sixskinners I have my second appointment with my OB today. I haven’t seen baby in weeks and I’m constantly worried about them I had a miscarriage and got pregnant within days (yes DAYS) of my miscarriage.
@sixskinners I feel you on this. Before this pregnancy I had a confirmed miscarriage, and then an ectopic pregnancy. I suspect I had another miscarriage before either of those. I’m at 40+2 now. We didn’t tell family about this pregnancy until we had genetic testing done. We didn’t talk about baby names until the 20 week anatomy scan. After those milestones we finally allowed ourselves to start planning and to get excited.
@sixskinners I had a miscarriage in June and I’m pregnant now I wouldn’t say I have PTSD because I feel like when you think that way you bring negative into fruition however I understand everyone struggles and how they deal with things is different but be positive you got this and you will be swaddling your baby in no time
@sixskinners Oh yes, it’s scary! r/pregnancyafterloss is really helpful though, just do your best and make sure you have someone (reasonable) to talk to about the guilt and struggle. Some can really be ‘Job’s comforters’ and I just had to cut them off until the baby came
@sixskinners I lost my first when I was getting ready to deploy on ops. I wasn't able to talk about it. I did eventually. I then fell pregnant a few years later and had a ruptured cyst and thought I was losing my baby again. Ultrasound confirmed a heartbeat, and I carried to 39w. Fell pregnant again and lost one of my twins. My remaining child had multiple health issues. Just take each day as it comes. Talk to others, join a support group, just don't be alone in your thoughts. Have you considered therapy? I know it seems silly, but therapy really helps you manage that fear, but it never goes away. I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's not fair. Buy you really aren't alone. Lots of us know exactly what you are living right now. It gets easier in time x
@sixskinners Literally trying to deal with this now. I’ve ditched the smart watch and redirect myself to positive thoughts whenever I start panicking that something seems different or symptoms come and go. The farther along you get the better you feel but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to fully relax
@sixskinners This. Exactly how I feel. I already had my rainbow baby so this is my 3rd pregnancy but I feel so anxious just waiting and hoping everything’s going to be fine. I’m only 4 weeks so anything is possible.
@sixskinners The mantra that helps me is “if you worry about something that ends up happening, you’ve put yourself through twice the pain” que sera sera. But I’m at 28 weeks and I still check the toilet paper every time
@sixskinners I had two miscarriages between my first and second child that pregnancy was hard and full of anxiety. How far along are you? I found once I could feel the baby I relaxed a bit.
I’m now pregnant with our third and I’ve had very little anxiety and worry this pregnancy.
@sixskinners Girl you are not alone! I had a miscarriage in July with the first time I had ever been pregnant, and then I got pregnant again a few months later. I’m now 28 weeks. I have freaked out over everything for all 24 weeks I’ve known I was pregnant. And some were for legit reasons like a ruptured hematoma at 9 weeks that for sure felt like a miscarriage, a low lying anterior placenta that made it so I couldn’t feel movement until later than most, and then just yesterday learning I had a short cervix and needed to be sent to labor and delivery dept for monitoring to make sure I wasn’t going into early labor. Heck I spotted blood from week 9-14 straight and had constant anxiety. But hey, she’s been fine every visit, every ultrasound, every monitoring. “Mindfuck” is absolutely the right word to use here. But you can get through it and things can turn out just fine. I relate to everything in your post. And if your experience is anything like mine, that anxiety will stick with you throughout your journey. But you can do this lady!
@sixskinners I understand your fears 1000%. I had 5 miscarriages (all at different stages) we tried for 8 years, and my rainbow baby just turned 1. I can tell you that fear never went away till I was holding my baby in my arms. What helped, though, was telling myself that IF this baby wasn't going to make it, I knew that I would be okay. I already went through the pain and knew I could make it out on the other side. So, instead of being in complete fear and hating every second of my pregnancy, I decided I would just enjoy every day I was given with my baby. I took photoshoots at different stages and did a LOT of affirmations to myself every morning to keep my mental health up. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, and I hope you will get to hold your baby in your arms. Just remember you are strong, and no matter what happens, it'll be okay. Sending lots of love.
@sixskinners I would argue that most women who have had a wanted pregnancy end in miscarriage have had the same anxiety. You are not alone! I definitely had anxiety around my pregnancy post miscarriage. I'm big on facts and statistics so I did a lot of research to help ease my mind, and came across a website that was a miscarriage odds reassurer (I dont remember the site name but it should pop up if you Google!) You can input your specific information (how far along you are, height, weight, age, have you had a previous miscarriage, etc) and it'll tell you the odds of you having a healthy pregnancy. As soon as I was able to feel baby moving, it helped ease my mind a LOT, but the thoughts of like, the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and things like that still made me worry.
I think that's part of being a parent, worrying about your child, even from the moment you're aware of their existence. Even now that my baby is here and 4 months old, I still constantly worry about SIDS, what if he chokes when we start solids, etc. Not having control over something that you hold so dear is so scary.
I had a miscarriage and got pregnant within days (yes DAYS) of my miscarriage.
