Please share your opinions: 53M and 36F pregnant - risks because of age? (Anxiety/guilt)

[apocalypse535]

@ramw I had my last son at 35. Chronic pain and constant depression for me. ADHD/SLP/Autism for him.

 

[ramw]

@apocalypse535 Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry your son faces those struggles.

 

[apocalypse535]

@ramw You can always work and get help. Do not let my experience decide what you want. But, after 35 health goes everywhere. I hope is not your case.

 

[prayervine]

@ramw My dad was 50+ when my sibling and I were born. Neither of us has issues due to his age. Even then (80s), only one doctor was concerned. You can do tests to check for issues rather than aborting now, if you want to keep the pregnancy.

 

[ramw]

@prayervine Thanks for this! Stories like yours are reassuring. We are happy about it and do want it, I’m just a bit worried. I’ll definitely get all the screening available.

 

[prayervine]

@ramw I know so many people with older parents. It seems, anecdotally, that the moms age matters more than the dad (but ask your doctor, that’s only based off of my sample size of friends/acquaintances with similar older parents). My parents had close to a 20 year age gap, with my mom being close to your age when I was born. My sibling is a few years younger.

 

[ramw]

@prayervine Thanks very much for this info! Makes me feel a lot better.

 

[ramw]

Thanks very much for sharing your story, that makes me feel better. Very glad to hear you’ve got a happy, healthy family - well done!

 

[sylvia4christ]

@ramw Men do not have risk due age. And you neither, in many coutries this is even your age to start having kids. Unless previous problems the risk factor starts at 40.

Sending lot's of love and hugs

 

[katrina2017]

@sylvia4christ It's just not true that there aren't risks associated with paternal age. How significant the risks are vary, and what OP wants to do about it, if anything, is her own call, but there are risks. Risks DO NOT mean that anything will go wrong, though - many things have associated risks that we are comfortable taking.

 

[ramw]

@katrina2017 Thanks for this realistic view. I do understand there is increased risk but I was really exaggerating it due to ignorance.

 

[sylvia4christ]

@katrina2017 The risk is that the egg has aged and it could lead to genetic problems. Do u wanna say that BEFORE she can go to a doctor and have her had anxiety for 2 weeks? The risks are in Google, as mothers we can do better and confort her. Btw since apparently no one told you having kids is a risk in itself in any age.

So it's your choice to scare an already scared person who is also blaming herself to an irrational point to add to it or let Google do that and the doctor SEE her and actually give an answer based on reality. And you be more conforting and try to give her nothing but positive things.

Btw: in Europe is a normal age to have kids. In ALL south america too.

 

[ramw]

@sylvia4christ Thank you for this. I’m feeling much better after reading these comments and considering it further. I am aware there’s an increased risk but get it now that it’s not a drastically high risk. Thanks for mentioning it happens a lot in some parts of the world. It’s comforting to hear so many success stories!

 

[sylvia4christ]

@ramw Go mamma, we got your back, if u feel bad, we are here. You are not alone. Sending love and only positive thoughts for u and your family. U got this

 

[ramw]

@sylvia4christ Thanks very much for your kind words!