I (36F) have just had a positive home test. We have healthy twins (F,M nearly 7) and this was not intentional (I know - very irresponsible). Can’t see my doctor for two weeks. Are the increased risks enough to consider termination because I’m so concerned of the added potential risks due to my husband’s age? Or am I being completely insane? I feel terrible for a) letting this happen and b) even considering not carrying it to term, but the thought of bringing someone into the world knowing there was a significant chance that they were destined to suffer feels very selfish to me.
Please share your opinions: 53M and 36F pregnant - risks because of age? (Anxiety/guilt)
skylaradams
New member
@ramw My mom had my brother at 40 and did increased monitoring. He’s the smartest person I know and very healthy. I just read this from Mayo Clinic:
“If you're older than 35 and hoping to get pregnant, you're in good company. Many families are delaying pregnancy well into their 30s and beyond — and delivering healthy babies. Taking special care can help give your baby the best start.”
It’s also worth noting that 80% of children with Down syndrome are born to women under 35.
Also notable:
“A healthy 38-year-old could have an easier pregnancy than a 20-year-old who has multiple medical issues,” Dr. Kalish says. “It’s really a gradual increased risk little by little over age 35, and it’s incredibly individualized.”
Dr. Kalish adds that her over-40 patients usually ask her, “‘Am I too old?’ My answer is almost always, ‘No, you are not too old.’ And then their next question is, ‘Am I high-risk?’ Unfortunately, my answer is usually, ‘Yes.’ But with proper care and monitoring, the majority of women in that age range go on to have a healthy pregnancy.”
source
“If you're older than 35 and hoping to get pregnant, you're in good company. Many families are delaying pregnancy well into their 30s and beyond — and delivering healthy babies. Taking special care can help give your baby the best start.”
It’s also worth noting that 80% of children with Down syndrome are born to women under 35.
Also notable:
“A healthy 38-year-old could have an easier pregnancy than a 20-year-old who has multiple medical issues,” Dr. Kalish says. “It’s really a gradual increased risk little by little over age 35, and it’s incredibly individualized.”
Dr. Kalish adds that her over-40 patients usually ask her, “‘Am I too old?’ My answer is almost always, ‘No, you are not too old.’ And then their next question is, ‘Am I high-risk?’ Unfortunately, my answer is usually, ‘Yes.’ But with proper care and monitoring, the majority of women in that age range go on to have a healthy pregnancy.”
source
@skylaradams Thanks very much for this info - this is very helpful.
katrina2017
New member
@ramw Whilst risks of genetic atypicality increase, they go from tiny to small - your baby is much much more likely to be healthy. Early screening can also help confirm this.
There is also some evidence that older mums make better parents - more experience, more patience, more financially stable and therefore with better resources
There is also some evidence that older mums make better parents - more experience, more patience, more financially stable and therefore with better resources
@katrina2017 Thanks very much for this! I’ll definitely be getting all screening available. I read only briefly about the studies conducted and couldn’t grasp what level of risk they were talking about so my mind grossly overestimated it.
@katrina2017 Love this thought! 
nhacaiuytin123123
New member
@nhacaiuytin123123 Thank you, I definitely will.
mrnice1234
New member
@ramw First of all congratulations on your baby! Hope your pregnancy and giving birth goes smooth 
My husband was 50, 52 and 55 when our children were born. There had never ever been any problems with the pregnancy nor with giving birth. Our children are 12, 9 and 7 now and they're just as okay as can be they don't have any health issues, no disabilities, no learning difficulties, they do well at school, they play sports, they're pretty social. Everything is grand
You will be all good, don't worry good luck x
My husband was 50, 52 and 55 when our children were born. There had never ever been any problems with the pregnancy nor with giving birth. Our children are 12, 9 and 7 now and they're just as okay as can be
they don't have any health issues, no disabilities, no learning difficulties, they do well at school, they play sports, they're pretty social. Everything is grand You will be all good, don't worry
good luck xkatrina2017
New member
@ramw I’m 38 with my second pregnancy and my first perfectly healthy child (now 2M) I had when I was 36! I had a history of miscarriages in my 20’s and was told I could potentially never have children so maybe my eggs just needed to mature 
As for your husband, I believe his lifestyle would be more concerning (does he smoke, drink, how does he eat) as to how it affects the sperm rather than his age. They are just now coming out with research as to how men’s lifestyles can affect their sperm. My friends dealing with infertility have educated me on that knowledge otherwise I would’ve had no idea! The stress surrounding this situation is completely normal! But no need to terminate for those reasons if it’s really got you conflicted 
As for your husband, I believe his lifestyle would be more concerning (does he smoke, drink, how does he eat) as to how it affects the sperm rather than his age. They are just now coming out with research as to how men’s lifestyles can affect their sperm. My friends dealing with infertility have educated me on that knowledge otherwise I would’ve had no idea! The stress surrounding this situation is completely normal! But no need to terminate for those reasons if it’s really got you conflicted