@stevenglo My kid is three and I haven’t run into people asking me if he’s my only yet we’re youngish parents ? Maybe we just look young ? My kid is starting to look like a big boy though so I’m not looking forward to strangers getting in my business . I think the only time was a family member saying we aren’t done, and insisting no way we were done . Most of my family knows we have been trying but I keep having miscarriages and recently a stillbirth . I plan once my kid gets older if anyone asks if he’s an only and doesn’t drop it right there and pulls some shit and makes me uncomfortable, well I’ll let them know , we’ll he does have a younger sister but she died . You wanna make things weird , I’ll make ‘em weirder .
When that family member had said it to me I just looked up like , we’ll we’ve been trying and it was just silent since everyone at the table except of this asshat knew that I kept miscarrying.
@516angelnell My heart breaks for you, and I hope that people give you the space and respect you deserve. Wishing you a lot of light and health and joy.
@stevenglo I hope you complained to the manager. In a service industry like that, her income (tips) is based on her client having a positive, pleasant experience. She was so invasive and rude.
@stevenglo I don't go around asking people why they chose to have multiple kids. I don't make snide remarks about people's sex lives and not using contraception and ending up with 5 kids in less than 8 years (thinking about one family I know in particular). I wouldn't say anything rubbing their faces in the fact I only have financial responsibility for 1 child when they may be struggling to keep a big enough house or food in their bellies. So why the hell do these people feel like they get a free pass to say ANYTHING to families who have one child, especially when they have no context for why? it confounds me.
Thankfully I don't seem to get much of that now. We had ours when I was 32, and I'm 36 now and have aged in appearance significantly in the last 2-3 years so I'm pretty sure nobody meeting me thinks I'm young enough to breed anymore. Haha.
@stevenglo Im so sorry this happened. I will never understand how people think any of this is ever ok- ask about children at all. Before we had ours weve been married a long time and people asked us constantly when wed have one. We just never got pregnant and it wasnt a big deal to me but what if i had miscarriage or been infertile or whatever?! You never know what other people are going through and this life is hard enough as is, so why cant we all just be kind to each other?! Good thing though is because you have your beautiful only , you can raise her properly so she doesn become as rude as this lady who probably had siblings. Next time thatd be my response 'we only have her so we can focus on raising her to not be as rude as you'
@stevenglo She’s asking your daughter about being lonely when she’s literally out doing things with you? Like that’s the kind of thing you do with your sister or your female friends and it’s just you and her so it’s extra special. She probably won’t be lonely if you continue to have a relationship like that. And from personal experience, you can still be lonely when you have siblings. It doesn’t even make sense.
Sorry you and your daughter had to go through that.
@stevenglo I had a similar experience at a massage place a few months. First massage since giving birth. I was super excited and the masseuse lady wouldn’t shut the eff up. Her questions were like “why is your daughter at daycare? Isn’t she so young to be there by herself”. Oh “in your culture, aren’t women forced into marriages?”. She didn’t know what my culture was, I am not white so obviously all non white people are forced into marriages. And my personal favourite “wow you had a kid at 40?!? Isn’t that so old!!”. I wanted to go relax but came back all hurt and broken. I know all this shouldn’t have bothered me but it did. I still have my complain typed up to go to the rm association in my province but I just haven’t clicked send as yet.
@paul2017 You know what? Go straight to the manager or owner or top dog or someone above the massage therapist’s head. That’s waaaaay too many damn questions during a massage. I mean….how the eff are you supposed to relax while you’re being cross-examined? That’s ridiculous. Complain! Complain! COMPLAIN.
@paul2017 Forced into marriages? I cannot. I can NOT handle the reality of this massage therapist saying that whilst massaging you! Like, it’s too much. That’s appalling, honestly.
@katrina2017 Thank you for understanding. Yes I was so appalled and hurt by all of this. It was really messed up. I am definitely going to complain. So unnecessary and wildly inappropriate.
