Why isn't your husband doing the laundry then?!?? Seriously. Knowing you can do NOTHING except hold your baby because otherwise he'll scream and cry, you really have two options: 1.) Continue to hold him and focus on nothing else. 2.) Get used to the screaming and do the things around the house that need to be done. That's it. Those are your options.
Explain these options to your husband and ask him to pick. Would he prefer to hold a screaming infant for a few hours while YOU do the house chores, or would he prefer to do those chores himself while baby stays velcroed to Mom?
Seriously. Make him do the chores. It's his way of contributing to the household right now.
@nazpastor This person is full of horse shit that she shouldn’t be dumping in other people’s gardens.
My pregnancy was the most happy, relaxed 9 months of my life. My baby is still hard core velcro at 4 months. Please try to erase the memory of this conversation and this person from your mind forever, don’t let it live rent free in your head. You did nothing wrong.
@nazpastor Thank you for posting this today. Having a miserable day with my parents and so tired of just existing but feeling really guilty about it because of being 35 weeks along
He’s now 19 months and has gotten more independent and playful. He definitely is just a strong-willed, demanding child by nature as soon as we brought him home from the hospital. He busted out of his swaddles after 2 weeks old & we never could swaddle to try to soothe him again. Threw his pacifiers every time around 4 months, so that soothing option was no more.
Other parents I’ve chatted with online have also said their child(ren) was “high needs/maintenance” but definitely improved the older they got and learned independence. Yes, I agree with others. Find a new Pediatrician that doesn’t have antiquated information.
@nazpastor I had numerous devastating things happen to me while I was pregnant with my daughter, including the sudden and unexpected death of my very healthy father. My daughter is the chillest, happiest kid I know. My pregnancy with my son was much more calm and he’s always unhappy. It’s not your fault. That’s awful, incorrect “information” that person gave you.
@nazpastor I hate this answer. Like, what? “Hey, I know you are creating a life and also surviving yourself but like don’t stress out about it. Or else you will make your baby want to hug you more, okay?”
My baby is going through a separation and Velcro phase too. My toddler wrapped his legs around my thigh so tightly at daycare drop off the teacher literally had to pry his legs open and pull him from me. I dropped him off and was about to have a full melt down in my car. I checked the daycare streaming app, and he was playing cars with his friend literally less than 3 minuets later.
It’s okay. Your baby loves you. It’s not because you were stressed during gestation.
@nazpastor I’m sorry but that’s ridiculous. You’ve gotten a lot of advice so I’m just gonna drop something else, do you babywear? My babies have been super clingy and baby wearing has helped me when I feel I need to get something done. Hopefully your baby likes it. Consider getting a carrier, there’s a lot in different price ranges. I like the ergobaby embrace at this stage since they’re still so little. Ive seen many people rave about soft wraps, but I haven’t used them. They’re usually cheaper. Checkout
r/babywearing if you need advice
@nazpastor What? I experienced a TON of stress when I was pregnant and don’t have a velcro baby. Our babies have their own personalities and needs, and I think that’s all it is. You have done nothing wrong, and it sounds like you’re a great mom. Just in the interest of making a point: I was working full time (mostly from home) and caregiving for my terminally ill mother while I was pregnant. She died when I was 7 months pregnant, and I did all of the memorial planning and the settling of her estate, which took two months. I defended my dissertation for my PhD a month after she died and when I was 8 months pregnant. I was stressed, overworked, and heartbroken. I was a mess. I asked my doctor several times about the effects of grief and stress on my baby, and she reassured me every time that he would be just fine. Please don’t feel any guilt. Sending hugs.
@nazpastor I was crazy anxious my entire pregnancy but my baby is pretty darn independent lol I don’t think your stress is necessarily connected with whether baby ends up being “Velcro” or not.
@nazpastor I was super relaxed with my first… I got to lounge during the day because I didn’t have anyone else to care for. I got to nap whenever. And work was pretty slow and he was super clingy. Like cried the entire time I was gone until he was a year old even with dad.
My second, I had hyperemesis and felt like I was dying while bedridden for a few months early on. Then right as I got over it, we found out my husbands promotion meant relocating for the year so we last minute (2 weeks notice) packed up and moved 4 hours away during Christmas in the middle of a snowstorm with zero childcare for my toddler. I had to work from home with him home for the remainder of my pregnancy, drive back and forth because all of my medical care was in our home town and manage 2 households while working full time remotely.
My second was then born precipitously and we were only a minute away from him being born in the car (this can apparently be super stressful for the baby, and I personally went into shock for a bit). I was definitely WAY more stressed second time around and my second is way more chill than my first. He happily goes with others, he’s weirdly rough for a baby and he’s just a different person. Meanwhile my first is still pretty clingy to me and is a more cautious little boy.
@nazpastor So many people have responded to the core of your message. Just here to put my two cents in. If there is an untapped resource, I say this is the time to make some calls! Any friends/fam who said, "Let me know whatever you need" would be happy to do something as necessary/basic as laundry for you. You are doing a really tough thing and baby's need to be on you is a lot on top of that!
@nazpastor I was incredibly stressed during my pregnancy (moved across the country twice and had to live in a hotel room for last three months of pregnancy in a new land- that’s just the tip of the iceberg), and my baby has never been what I would consider “Velcro”. Ever.
@nazpastor No way. My 17m nephew is ATTACHED to my sil but that didn’t start until 2m. Also, I was under so much stress because my husband that I actually gave birth 11 days early, and my son is 5m and great at independent play. Granted, we contact nap and cosleep but still, not a Velcro baby.
@nazpastor I don't think that's a thing. Sounds like an old wives tale. Your baby isn't a Velcro baby because you were stressed, but probably because he does desire more comfort than the average baby. And there's nothing wrong with that! It's just how some babies are. So don't blame yourself for something you can't control
@nazpastor That’s such bullshit. I wasn’t stressed during my pregnancy, and my baby is next next level Velcro. It’s been 11 months. I find myself being jealous of the moms who have babies who will chill while they cook or do chores or will go wherever. Jealous of the moms whose babies sleep in the car, instead of screaming their heads off. Sometimes I feel like I was robbed of the motherhood experience because I’m just constantly overwhelmed with crying and carrying a baby constantly. I love her so much, but it’s been a long 11 months. I’m sorry you’re experiencing it, too.
