Never thought.

[ritageorge]

I was super against bed sharing, until I realized it’s the only way I’m not completely sleep deprived. I was so safe sleep I was shoving it down my husbands throat now he’s worried about bed sharing lol.
We’ve been co sleeping so her pack n play next to the bed since she was born, she’s now 3 months.
She used to sleep 9/10-5 and then a few more 2 hour stretches which I could handle. Now it’s waking more frequently and it’s been rough for me.
She sleeps in her bed 9/10-6 (not without feeding or interruptions) but this morning and last ive brought her on the bed and today we slept until about 10 off and on sucking/feeding. Way longer than usual.
Honestly I’m still terrified of bed sharing, I’ve read so many horror stories of babies dying/suffocating because adult mattresses aren’t made for babies etc.
How do I keep my resolve for her sleeping alone or get over my fear of bed sharing when I’m doing everything to make it safe?
We breastfeed, I know you’re not supposed to have any blankets or pillows, also supposed to sleep in the C shape around baby? I’m not sure how I’d do at this, how close? I’m scared I’d be the one to suffocate her.
She does have an owlet but I don’t want that to replace safe sleep at all.
I’m so torn between wanting to sleep and providing the SAFEST sleep space for her.
Also I’d need new tight sheets mine seem loose and like a hazard, she’s not rolling yet but once she does I’m not comfortable bed sharing. She is in a halo sleep sack. Temp is also set to recommendations(I get so cold tho).
TLDR; was always against bed sharing but it’s helped get more sleep, super scared to do it, or tips to help baby sleep longer in pack n play
Edit to add: husband sleeps on couch, found out baby slept in bed last night and is very mad at me, he also doesn’t help at night or have to get up early.

 

[juliand]

@ritageorge I was super scared at first and went down a rabbit hole in the middle of the night. It honestly seems like NOT bed sharing is basically the USA, U.K., Canada and Australia only and the rest of the world thinks we’re monsters for keeping the baby away. I’m in the U.K. and even we’re relaxing on it.

Hope the links below help. Some of them are from U.K. organisations but I believe our SIDS rate is lower than in the USA.

UNICEF https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfrien...aby-at-Night-A-Health-Professionals-Guide.pdf

UNICEF again - https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfrien...and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

NCT U.K. - https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/sleep/co-sleeping-or-bed-sharing-your-baby-risks-and-benefits

Lullaby trust - https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

La leche - https://www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/

 

[yakapo7]

@juliand My Province in Canada (BC) is also relaxing on bed sharing! While healthcare providers are still very clear that “the SAFEST place is baby on their back on their own surface,” more practitioners are acknowledging that you can bedshare safely and that this sometimes makes a huge difference for families (preventing sleep deprivation, PPD/PPA). This is the information we were given at the hospital about safe bed sharing.

Lots of resources about how to bedshare safely online. La Leche League’s Safe Sleep Seven and James McKenna’s book “Safe Infant Sleep” are referenced in this sub a lot!

 

[montse]

@ritageorge I was terrified of bedsharing at the beginning, but it was my midwife who gave me the green light really. She said she was all for it and somehow that made me feel better having a professional approve, since it seems so often frowned upon. Maybe knowing that there are lots of doctors and midwives around the world who recommend will help you too?

We’ve been bedsharing since then - started at around 1.5 weeks and my girl is now almost 12 weeks and it feels like not only the most natural thing in the world to sleep next to my baby, but also the safest.

I also get really cold though! Haven’t figured out a way to get over that. My little girl is always warm in her sleep sack though so now if I wake up cold I just cuddle her!

 

[bkrolex]

@montse A robe on your exposed (non C shape arm) and a light blanket from the waist down is what I do. Been co-sleeping for 14 months and love it!

 

[caseypeters222]

@ritageorge I could have written this except my baby goes to bed at 8 and was waking up at 230/3. But basically same exact thing...

We went shopping for a firm mattress at ikea last night and were going to commit to bed sharing.... however, ikea didn’t have any firm king mattresses in stock and so we will continue putting her in her crib, for now!

 

[diana14]

@ritageorge This was kind of us. Bub was probably 2 or 3 months at the time and would be sleeping in his bassinet up and down for feedings and cuddles all the time until 4ish in the morning when I'd bring him in bed with me. At that point we both would sleep soundly until 10 or 11 in the morning, no interruptions and I think it's because we were both exhausted from all the night time wakes.
My partner finally asked me at some stage why I spend the whole night trying to put him in his bassinet when we both would sleep so well in bed together and I just kinda looked at him like...I have no idea.
I always thought co sleeping was a bit far from normal for us and never really gave it any thought but now we do it every night and everyone is so so much happier. We also just pushed our bed and his cot together so we've got a bit more room and I've got a little more freedom, I can put him to sleep in his cot and just roll away for some free time so I'm not stuck but it's so easy to just grab him in the night and we end up snuggled together by morning.
Would highly recommend trying different things until you find what works for you, it's an adjustment but you'll find something that works for all of you! And just do some research on safe sleep seven because done safely bedsharing can be one of the safest ways to sleep

 

[slipper]

@ritageorge My perinatal psychiatrist gave us the green light too. Even some up with safer ideas and solutions that helped calm a lot of my fears. To me I feel like it’s safer with him beside me than far away from me, I’m more in touch with him and we coregulate.

 

[laurie_04021997]

@slipper I know this is late but what weee her ideas and suggestions?