Need to vent - accused of child abuse

[noldoxis]

@999forever This is kind of wild to me. Based on this, we all would've been taken from my parents due to my brother's insanity growing up. He used to do crazy stuff that resulted in serious injuries, including a fall down the steps too. I know at one point, my parents fought over who had to take him to the ER again because they were afraid of being accused of abuse. He was just a daredevil with no fear and they had 3 kids.

 

[crafty]

@noldoxis On the flip side me and my siblings should have been removed from the care of my parents, multiple times. But we never were.

 

[noldoxis]

@crafty I'm so sorry that was the case. I think it's such a hard line to walk and I just wish social services were funded adequately so they could actually do the due diligence and follow up on every case. (Can only speak for that not happening where I live. They're down so many social workers that they're triaging and it's so bad right now.)

 

[gal220gal]

@noldoxis To be fair, they haven’t taken the child from the OP. Someone posted detailed info with links as to why they seemingly overreact to abdominal bruising.

 

[noldoxis]

@gal220gal Oh yes, I know they haven't taken them! I'm just thinking my brother cracked his head open a few times, broke his arm and then bashed the cast against things to get it off multiple times. I just feel like if some bruises are taken that seriously, that the injuries my brother had might be taken way differently these days. Maybe I'm totally wrong!

 

[999forever]

@noldoxis Same!! When we were little, my parents literally left my brother out in the sun on a beach without sunscreen and he was burned so badly. Doctor didn’t blink an eye. I fell off bed twice and cracked my head open as a toddler. This never happened to them. I think it’s the abdomen bruise that is a true flag for them.

 

[noldoxis]

@999forever Yeah that's really good to know in general. Like if someone is watching your baby or toddler too. I checked out the link provided in another comment, and any effort to educate mandated reporters is great! Just scary when families do get caught up in a system that then causes a lot of anxiety when it's not a true case of abuse.

 

[katrina2017]

@999forever This is a really shitty situation and I’m so sorry you’re having to go through it. In the end everything is very likely to turn out fine. But that doesn’t make it any easier today.

It’s very hard to be falsely accused. I have been also. CPS came several times. The first time I was at work while the kids were with a sitter and they wanted to interview my 6 year old without me present (the concerns were related to my 12 yr old at the time). I was so mad they would have a sensitive convo with my confused kid without me present — but I also knew saying no would look like I had something to hide so I allowed them.

It’s a very humbling experience. I’d suggest cooperating and trying to just get through it at this point. Unfortunately the more you protest the more they get suspicious. Do whatever tests they want and convey that you have nothing to hide and want to ensure your baby is ok.

Now, I’ll also add that if they start to escalate even while you’re cooperating, it may be lawyer time. Every CPS dept and worker is different and there are some that go way too far. But if they’re just running tests to confirm baby is ok, I’d cooperate with that.

In my case the CPS worker pretty quickly determined there was no merit to the allegations and we had a few follow up visits and then the case was cleared.

Sending you hugs. You’re going to get through this. And remember if a baby was being abused you’d want them to be extra vigilant and catch it to protect that child.

 

[999forever]

@katrina2017 Thank you so much. These stories make me feel a bit better in that I know other moms have gone through this. I’m so sorry this happened to you too. It’s truly jarring. We are cooperating with everyone involved and I know they are ultimately just trying to protect the most vulnerable, so they have our complete respect. I just cry thinking about the possibility of having our kids taken for something I know didn’t happen.

 

[its_me1945]

@999forever OMG, this reminds me of the podcast "Do No Harm". Every parents nightmare, it can virtually happen to anyone. You should listen to it as your story sounds like those cases. Start consulting an experienced family lawyer to assist you in dealing with CPS, don't do it alone. Don't take it lighly. In that podcast some parents got their kids removef out of nowhere after they were told everything was fine. CPS just showed up with the police late night and took away the kids. It took the families months of nightmares and 1000s$$$ in legal fees to get their kids back

 

[999forever]

@its_me1945 Thanks for the recommendation. I’ve never heard of it but will try to listen. Although, I am so spooked right now I feel like if I listened, I would not be able to sleep. I am so paranoid and scared even though I know it’s not abuse. The lawyer said to call her after the second X-ray, so I’ll see what she says then but man this is so hard.

 

[heather81]

@999forever Make sure you know your rights!!! Get a defense attorney asap. My friend had a similar situation happen to her and her baby was taken away and she had to go to court and fight to get her baby back for 6 months.

 

[999forever]

@heather81 That is so frightening and I’m so sorry for your friend. This is what is really messing with my head - the face that all three of them can be taken when we know abuse didn’t happen. The lawyer did advise the second set of X-rays. Of course I’m petrified because he’s 9 months old and crawling and sidling. I’m so scared of another bruise showing up or him falling while he’s trying to walk. It feels so horrible but I just wish I could put him in a bubble for two weeks until we get these other X-rays out of the way.

 

[freedom93096]

@999forever .

 

[999forever]

@freedom93096 Thank you for the reminder. It turns out the ear is not actually a bruise. It is still there and not changing colors, still very red and he keeps scratching at it. The pediatrician has told CPS and the doctor she does not believe it is a bruise and was mischaracterized as such.

 

[postal900]

@999forever So sorry you're going through this. Hope the horror ends soon and you all can return to normal life. Hugs for you and your family

 

[999forever]

@postal900 Thank you

 

[jhigherawareness]

@999forever I am so sorry. Things like this have happened to me too. Someone reported abuse to CPS and we ended up doing full body X-rays on my kids to look for “signs of abuse.” Nothing there. The “bruise” they saw was gone within a day. And my babies are really really white so even light pressure on their skin turns it red. So many interviews, the whole Spanish Inquisition treatment. Just for them to figure out that it was literally bothing, and the person who reported probably did so because I’m openly gay (technically asexual but they don’t care) in a conservative community. They can take their witch hunts and find someone else to burn at the stake. You deserve peace and I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

 

[999forever]

@jhigherawareness I am so so sorry this happened to you. I told my husband we are very lucky we are white, heterosexuals with very flexible and understanding jobs or else this would be even more traumatizing. I’m so sorry for you and your babies. It’s not right and I know how helpless it all feels. I wish I could give you a big hug.