@idontknow Thank you. We did just because we were really scared. The attorney scared us even more because she said we were really lucky to leave with the baby. It was her second case from the hospital this week and she said usually families don’t leave with their babies and in our case, the fact they did discharge us with him truly means there was nothing there to point to abuse. However, they are asking for this second X-ray because apparently an initial X-ray won’t show a fracture but if you look again 10-14 days later, you can see healing from a fracture. I’m just shocked and glad we spoke to an attorney. I think realizing how close we could have been to having all the kids taken away is really messing with my head.
@999forever I just wanted to share that I work in child welfare, and it's more about what is happening triggers the type of response to be extra safe. I'm so sorry you're going through it, though! It's scary. You're doing all the right things. The age of child, type of injury, etc. I feel they could have been wayyyyy more compassionate about this.
@999forever I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What a difficult experience for you all and for little boy. I don’t know how your work situation is, but try not to feel guilt over missing time. This is out of your control, like any serious medical situation would be. The best you can do is make sure you’re getting enough rest to remain clear-headed through the process.
@jfirebuff Thank you. This is the other part of it that I’m struggling with. My work has been so supportive but I’m kicking myself for not being able to keep it. It’s so hard to have all these balls up in the air and as soon as I think I’m getting there in terms of balancing it all, something like this comes along and I can’t keep up.
@999forever My son is four months old as of the 18th this month. He has a strawberry hemangioma right above the inner crook of his elbow. It's a splattering of red and sort of purple bumps, about the size of a man's thumb, and we're questioned about it at every. single. appointment.
We had to take him to Urgent Care last month as my fiance and I had covid and he sounded like he was having breathing difficulties. It took three different doctors and photos from his delivery for them to understand that it's a birth mark and not abuse.
While I understand that doctors need to be aware of these sorts of things, it's been super frustrating dealing with the comments, double takes, and judgements. I can only imagine the hell you're going through. My only advice is just to keep complying with them, comfort and love on your sweet baby as much as you can, and y'all will get through this.
@jcistheog I’m so sorry about this. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you every single time. It’s like you’re preparing for the judgment, questioning, and looks every single time. It feels unreal and my heart goes out to you because I can only imagine you juggling the need for care with the worry over someone believing you that it’s not abuse.
@monroedm Thank you. We have talked to one and will most likely sign a retainer. She advised us to do the second X-ray as it would raise red flags if we did not want to do it.
@999forever It’s stories like this that make me paranoid to seek any sort of medical help for my kid, especially if he has a bruise.
Like, my son fell down the steps a month or so ago. My husband turned his back for a minute, and our toddler really wanted to see our cat who ran down the steps and the door was open and he tumbled and somehow got a little bruise on his cheek. I was super paranoid about it. We have several house cameras, so I made sure to download the video of the incident and take pics of any little bruises and bumps - which thankfully he had very few of, kids are made of rubber - because this stuff terrifies me. Which is silly, because my son is a toddler and he’s gonna get covered in bumps and bruises.
@clone93 Yes, the paranoia is so intense right now. It’s a horrible feeling and I’m so sorry you feel it too. I hate that I’m feeling I can’t trust our doctor. A hug to you.
Please call a lawyer. Don't get caught unaware. I don't want to freak you out but there are stories out there of good parents being wrongfully accused of abuse because of ignorant doctors who think every bruise is a sign of abuse.
Talk to your boss and/or HR. If you're in the US and you meet certain qualifications you likely qualify for FMLA or your state's local equivalent. If your state has protected sick leave you may also qualify for that.
Is it possible one of your sister's kids or maybe your sister dropped something on baby or did something to hurt him, maybe even accidentally? Might be worth a chat.
You have the right to insist on good medical care for your son. At this point I'd be calling your pediatrician, explaining what is going on, and asking for some clear explanations of what all the doctors are looking for and why they want a second set of x-rays. Explain how difficult this has been for your son and insist you don't want him to continue to be put through invasive and scary medical procedures without clear explanations as to why. But also, please talk to a lawyer first. If the doctors really are suspecting child abuse then you don't want to look too obstructionist.
ETA: you should be aware that abdominal bruising is a common sign of physical abuse as well as for some other serious illnesses. I don't think your pediatrician or the ER doctors were being overly cautious in getting your kid checked out, just that you want to make sure you're talking to a lawyer and protecting yourself and your family.
@brendabree Thank you for all is this. I thought of taking some time but work right now is the only place I’m feeling a semblance of normalcy if that makes sense? It’s keeping me busy and my mind off this during the day.
My sister doesn’t have kids but I do know my 3 year old middle one has been trying to keep the baby away from her toys since he’s now crawling at a furious pace to get to all of her things. I’ve seen her grab him around his belly with her hands to pull him away from her things and I told the doctors this but they said no, that wouldn’t cause a bruise. My sister is also being investigated since she is his other caregiver so we have talked non stop about this. I work in the kitchen which is an open space and she watches him in the living room, so I see/hear them at all times. It just didn’t happen where something when we were watching him caused this which is why I panicked and contacted the pediatrician. They still don’t know what caused it and the pediatrician says we might never know.
We did talk to the pediatrician and she reiterated this is just standard protocol for suspected abuse so that the second set of X-rays is a normal thing to ask. She said not to take it personally but it’s hard when I feel so paranoid now. I don’t want my babies taken away from me, so we will do the second set but this is just really hard. I know the baby will struggle and it feels like so much.
@999forever In all seriousness it’s probably best you consult a lawyer. Find one with family law experience. You probably have nothing to worry about however it’s better to be prepared.
@999forever I’m so sorry it is turning into this and the resulting stress and strain on your family. Let CPS investigate, do their thing. It absolutely sucks and I’m genuinely sorry you are going through this.
Unfortunately abdominal bruising is related to abuse so they have to rule everything out. Also remember they are investigating whether your child was abused, not specifically whether you are the abuser. Of course as parents you will bear the brunt of the interviews but they should be contacting anyone who takes care of your sweet boy.
I’ve seen her grab him around his belly with her hands to pull him away from her things and I told the doctors this but they said no, that wouldn’t cause a bruise. My sister is also being investigated since she is his other caregiver so we have talked non stop about this. I work in the kitchen which is an open space and she watches him in the living room, so I see/hear them at all times. It just didn’t happen where something when we were watching him caused this which is why I panicked and contacted the pediatrician. They still don’t know what caused it and the pediatrician says we might never know.