My 15 y/o son is going to be the death of me 34 F

[monae]

@samuel93 Yes he is ADHD and it took a horrible year to finally get him placed in an IEP. He definitely has issues with executive function and there are underlying issues.

He needs that outlet. The idle hands are bad bad bad.

 

[anita5050]

@monae You can be a great and loving parent and a child can still have trauma from only having one parent. This is not a blame that I’m putting on you. This is just a reality, so how was your therapist helping you all work through that?

To add to that are you in therapy as well? And are you in family therapy together? If not, why not?

You need a team to support you and him and you and him together.

 

[monae]

@anita5050 You are correct and I can’t even imagine how much that affects his brain and the trauma that comes with it as i am well aware of childhood trauma from things i have dealt with. I do see a therapist as does he but we havnt done family which is really what my next move should be. I suppose funds would be the issue. Between both therapies, braces, student loans housing feeding a growing 15 year old and the normal costs of life, while I do well I can’t do it all.

They just walk through various ways of coping and dealing with things with him in constructive ways. But nothing is helping.

I imagine the single parent household is a large part of it. One parent can only do so much but I do my best it’s just not currently good enough or what is right for him.

 

[anita5050]

@monae You ARE doing your best.

Please don’t take my words as attacks. I see you in this thread. You are doing the damn thing.
Just keep pushing.

 

[crs_7]

@monae I have a similar 14.5yo. Mostly the drugs. It's not always about parenting. My child has his own history that makes him more prone to addiction. For OP, I think you ate doing everything you can. Treatment only works when their ready, but a push from dad coild help get him in the door. We tried changing from public to private school. My son still found drugs. If you find the magic bullet, please share.

 

[monae]

@crs_7 I wish a push from dad would help maybe but unfortunately he’s not super involved. I have tried my hardest to foster that relationship even after he picked up and moved 9 hours away.

 

[etgohome]

@monae I’m so sorry momma. I’ve got a difficult one too and I’m just here to say we will make it through this.

 

[monae]

@etgohome Thank you for this! I truly hope so. I just want the best for him and for him to do well in life and be happy and healthy.

 

[mike2fst]

@monae My teen is 16- ADHD, Aniexry, Compulsive disorder

All I ask…

To be accountable Nd responsible

Daily reminders -
If you make a mess- clean it up
garbage full -take it out.
Dishwasher full and clean - empty it
Bedroom - horrible - daily cleanup reminders

• This is rarely achieved regardless of apps, Lists and charts

He is techy Brilliant -
Knows how to unpause and disconnect on electronics-
He creates his own hidden VPNs, networks, etc. Right now, my bedroom is a storage room for his stuff.
He has been the source for schools to ask if kids can reach or access sites on the thief ipad

I would buy anything he needs- he does not need to steal. However...

I have found charges on my credit cards - for minimal amounts that fall under the radar—minor theft of store items.
Some cash from a purse

My newest concern is that he has been buying THC gummies.

With meds he has been told by his therapist and doctor this is not acceptable with meds and the age of brain development.

What advice do you have?

I have removed electronics and rewards for good behavior, and then the bad behavior I take it away.

How bad is my son been and what can I do?

I lack trust, I'm taking it much harder then he. We have up until 18 to fix these compulsive behaviors before he gets caught and he gets charged.

What advise you do you have ?