Moving out

[drmkensington]

I’m not sure of this is the right subreddit for my question, but I’ll give it a try. Me and SO have been together 14 years and have 3 kids but we are now separated, we live together for last 11 years but house is only under my name. I pay all the bills for mortgage and utilities (she pays internet only and some streaming services) anyways I’ve been catching her lying the entire year about going to have drinks after work and going to the bar. I gave her an ultimatum that she needs to be focused on coming home after work and not going out l and that if she can’t agree to that I’m out. We’ll she said she agreed but 3 days later(this past Monday) she went out after work, there’s alot of other issues typo long to mention that is also reasons I’m done. I told her I will be moving out soon.. but my predicament is the house is under my name not hers and I know if I move out and let her take over payments she will just default l( she did this before as revenge for me being a player years ago) but she won’t move out on her own, I’ve asked her and she says she won’t.. any opinions or ideas on what I can do? Before any one jumps to conclusions on my player history, just know she was doing her thing as well in the past.. lThanksbin advance for any responses.

 

[nick220]

@drmkensington If you aren’t a lawyer, get a lawyer. I was in your situation a decade ago. It doesn’t get better with time.

 

[cdashfig]

@drmkensington Get a lawyer. If you are serious about ending the relationship you need to protect your asset and your property. I'd suggest speaking with a lawyer, not leaving your house, telling her she needs to be out by X date and changing the locks. It sucks but if you actually want this to end you need to take some proactive steps to make it happen. No one is going to leave a situation in which they are being taken care of (I'm making assumptions here based on your statement that you pay all of the bills excluding the internet). What about the kids? What will your parenting time look like?

 

[drmkensington]

@cdashfig I really don’t want to get lawyers involved but I just might have to huh? The thing is we are not legally married either, for this exact reason not wanting to pay lawyer fees etc.. Yeah she pretty much is using me, she has always said she would let me have split custody of the kids and not charge child support but in some of our more heated arguments she has said the opposite, so I don’t believe a thing she says. The thing is the way I grew up I always watched the Men move out and leave the house to the wig and kids, and something about me doesn’t feel right having her out because I know she’ll take the kids with her, and I don’t want them at a motel or worse at her in-laws where there’s already people sleeping on the couch, so I kind of want to sign the house over to her and have it be done but I don’t think I legally can.

 

[spagehttiandric]

@drmkensington Keep being a adult and respectful as hard it is for the kids. If your not married take legal measures. Depending on what state you live you may have to take her to court for her to get out.