@markrhoward I know the recommendation is to wait 18 months or so. My mom got pregnant with me when my sister was 6 months. Both of us were c sections. My mom said it wasn’t that bad but maybe she doesn’t remember because it’s been almost 30 years ago
Mom's who had C-sections and have 2 under 2... or 3 or 4
- Thread starter markrhoward
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@markrhoward I had 2 c-sections. Had 2 under 2 as they were almost exactly 18 months apart. If my OB had told me to wait I would’ve waited. We discussed that I wanted another child so he was aware. He told me if I didn’t get pregnant by 6 month postpartum that I could start Metformin. I have PCOS and had difficulty getting pregnant with my first.
I thought it would take at least a year to get pregnant but no.
My second pregnancy was horrendous. Morning sickness, smell aversion and having to change gross poopy diapers. Not to mention feeling like shit for months during 1st trimester BUT I CANT REST LIKE I WANT because I have to care for my son. Then second trimester I had pelvic girdle pain that LASTED UNTIL WEEKS AFTER BIRTH. Every. Single. Movement. I was in so much pain it was agony. Plus also having to care for my son at the same time…there’s a running theme I’m trying to paint a picture of. My husband helped as much as he could but he works and I stayed home. Pretty much zero support during those hellish months I was pregnant.
After giving birth I was forbidden from picking up my toddler which was ROUGH because he needed help to do so much. Husband took 6? weeks unpaid off work. You do not want to mess with c-section recovery. It is terrifying hearing and feeling a pop in the incision area and seeing an alarming amount of bright red blood. Though in my case my OB thought it might’ve been a fluid pocket.
Then, caring for a newborn and just under 2 yr old sucked so hard at times. And my newborn daughter slept great and only cried when she needed something. Overall great baby but still challenging. Things have calmed down now that both are on a night schedule that I can live with.
Tl;dr I am so happy my daughter is here but I wish I had waited before getting pregnant and having 2 under 2. Especially with the 2 c-sections less than 2 years apart.
I thought it would take at least a year to get pregnant but no.
My second pregnancy was horrendous. Morning sickness, smell aversion and having to change gross poopy diapers. Not to mention feeling like shit for months during 1st trimester BUT I CANT REST LIKE I WANT because I have to care for my son. Then second trimester I had pelvic girdle pain that LASTED UNTIL WEEKS AFTER BIRTH. Every. Single. Movement. I was in so much pain it was agony. Plus also having to care for my son at the same time…there’s a running theme I’m trying to paint a picture of. My husband helped as much as he could but he works and I stayed home. Pretty much zero support during those hellish months I was pregnant.
After giving birth I was forbidden from picking up my toddler which was ROUGH because he needed help to do so much. Husband took 6? weeks unpaid off work. You do not want to mess with c-section recovery. It is terrifying hearing and feeling a pop in the incision area and seeing an alarming amount of bright red blood. Though in my case my OB thought it might’ve been a fluid pocket.
Then, caring for a newborn and just under 2 yr old sucked so hard at times. And my newborn daughter slept great and only cried when she needed something. Overall great baby but still challenging. Things have calmed down now that both are on a night schedule that I can live with.
Tl;dr I am so happy my daughter is here but I wish I had waited before getting pregnant and having 2 under 2. Especially with the 2 c-sections less than 2 years apart.
daughterofmajor
New member
@markrhoward I had pre-eclampsia and a cesarean my first pregnancy. I got accidentally pregnant 6mo PP so 2 under 2 and actually got to have a VBAC. But, I wanted to wait 2 years to have my next one because you will have a higher chance of uterine rupture, I was one of the lucky ones. Let your body heal momma
@markrhoward I can’t advise you on anything, but I also had my first via c-section in Sept 2022 and I was told to wait a minimum of 18 months before trying to conceive again.
phoenix267
New member
@markrhoward I had baby 3 a week and a half before my twins turned two. All of my kids are IVF babies and c-sections. The timing was approved by both my ob and my reproductive endocrinologist.
1. I had them crawl onto the couch. Everything else happened on the floor.
2. Yes. Called in all the help we could. Also we toddler proofed the living room and just stayed in there.
3. I followed the advice of my doctors.
4. Harder to do bedtime if you’re alone so the big boys sometimes got to stay up a little later.
It’s wild
1. I had them crawl onto the couch. Everything else happened on the floor.
2. Yes. Called in all the help we could. Also we toddler proofed the living room and just stayed in there.
3. I followed the advice of my doctors.
4. Harder to do bedtime if you’re alone so the big boys sometimes got to stay up a little later.
It’s wild
selvarajan_m2000
New member
@markrhoward I had a c-section for both of my 2 kids. There’s a 3 yr gap between them…first is 3f and my second is a 2 month old boy. The age gap worked for us for the following reasons:
Finally, if you can…do not have the 2 kids share a room. Yes it will wreck nighttime sleep and nap times for the older one when there’s a newborn in the room with them.
- more time to heal (and in general I think I’ve recovered quickly for both)
- toddler was old enough to understand why I couldn’t carry her while pregnant
- toddler capable enough to walk/entertain herself/get snacks/get dressed which helped a ton during my pregnancy and also while in the throes of dealing with a newborn
- 3 year old was able to understand and enjoy having a baby e.g. why mommy can’t do something immediately, how to be gentle with baby etc.
- only 1 kid in diapers at a time
- don’t need to have dual strollers etc. as the toddler is happy to walk
Finally, if you can…do not have the 2 kids share a room. Yes it will wreck nighttime sleep and nap times for the older one when there’s a newborn in the room with them.
annitabeya
New member
@markrhoward Dude your doctor advised you against it, as any doctor would. I’ll what else would you need to know?
markrhoward
New member
@annitabeya Lots of other women do this, and when I spoke frankly with my doctor about it after posting this, she said wait until at least 6 months to get pregnant. So why did she tell me 12 months previously? Simply because thats what they would prefer but the truth is chances of issues are low at 6 months. This is why I asked these questions. Wanting to know what others where told and seeing if others had issues. Doctors are great and smart but many will give advice based on what they think you should do instead of telling you "I think you should wait 12 months but 6 months is medically fine if you want children close in age"
@markrhoward My ob advise to wait minimum of 9 months but she really meant 18 months.
@markrhoward I’m in this position right now with a 5 week old and an almost 2 year old. I was hoping to VBAC after an emergency c section last time but Baby 2 was breech so had to go for a planned one this time.
Not picking up my toddler has been the hardest part by far. He’s accepted it really well and we have lots of sofa cuddles but it’s heartbreaking on the occasions when his little arms go up wanting me to pick him up. You really can’t though and it’s meant I’ve needed a lot of help from family on a practical level. I can’t wait to be able to pick him up again! Being allowed to drive again too!
Managing both is tough and some days I have to give more screen time then I’d like but overall it’s ok. Baby wearing helps and I try to get my toddler to cuddle up for a story when I’m feeding the baby.
Yes, we did get that advice regarding a 12 month gap. We started trying after 12 months and that was fine.
My toddler is already not a great sleeper but he’s not been bothered at all by the baby in that regard. It does make it exhausting though because my husband is doing the toddler night wake ups (due to the issues with me not being able to lift him yet) and I’m ending up doing all the night shift for baby. It’s hell at times but waking each other up hasn’t been a problem luckily.
Overall, I feel like we’re making it work for us. It would have been a lot easier without the c section but we are lucky and have a lot of help from our parents so it’s working out well for us. It’s definitely worth considering what help you’ll have.
Not picking up my toddler has been the hardest part by far. He’s accepted it really well and we have lots of sofa cuddles but it’s heartbreaking on the occasions when his little arms go up wanting me to pick him up. You really can’t though and it’s meant I’ve needed a lot of help from family on a practical level. I can’t wait to be able to pick him up again! Being allowed to drive again too!
Managing both is tough and some days I have to give more screen time then I’d like but overall it’s ok. Baby wearing helps and I try to get my toddler to cuddle up for a story when I’m feeding the baby.
Yes, we did get that advice regarding a 12 month gap. We started trying after 12 months and that was fine.
My toddler is already not a great sleeper but he’s not been bothered at all by the baby in that regard. It does make it exhausting though because my husband is doing the toddler night wake ups (due to the issues with me not being able to lift him yet) and I’m ending up doing all the night shift for baby. It’s hell at times but waking each other up hasn’t been a problem luckily.
Overall, I feel like we’re making it work for us. It would have been a lot easier without the c section but we are lucky and have a lot of help from our parents so it’s working out well for us. It’s definitely worth considering what help you’ll have.
elishiva123
New member
@markrhoward I have two 11 months apart and had a planned c-section for my second. A family emergency came up and my husband had to travel hours away when I was only 8 days postpartum. He stayed away for a week It wasn’t recommended of course, but I managed to lift and care for my eldest without too many issues. He was and still is a 98th percentile baby so he was around 27lb at the time. Staying on top of the pain medication and listening to your body is a must.
@markrhoward My son is almost 19 months and I’m 8-9 weeks pregnant.
I’m older at 33, almost 34, and I needed help to conceive both of these pregnancies. When I saw my doctor at my annual when my son was 6 months old, she said to schedule an appt around a year PP to make sure I had healed well, which I had.
If your doctor clears you, it should be fine. There will still be risks. If my doctor had told me we should wait, we would have. My son will be just over 2 years old when his sibling gets here.
Because of how my first labor went, I’m a pretty good candidate for VBAC, but I’m probably leaning towards a second c section unless certain variables happen lol.
I’m older at 33, almost 34, and I needed help to conceive both of these pregnancies. When I saw my doctor at my annual when my son was 6 months old, she said to schedule an appt around a year PP to make sure I had healed well, which I had.
If your doctor clears you, it should be fine. There will still be risks. If my doctor had told me we should wait, we would have. My son will be just over 2 years old when his sibling gets here.
Because of how my first labor went, I’m a pretty good candidate for VBAC, but I’m probably leaning towards a second c section unless certain variables happen lol.
brooklyn1212
New member
@markrhoward I'd probably just go with what my doctor recommends. What is your OB saying ?
victoriablackwell
New member
@markrhoward I just had a c-section 2 weeks ago and have a 26 month old son as well. I have not been lifting my older son at all, which isn’t actually that hard because I had to stop at the end of pregnancy anyway, and he’s mobile enough he can climb onto things (couch, booster seat, car seat) on his own. I do have my husband around & on leave the entire 6 weeks recovery time though (& he is handling the daycare drop offs/pickups).
New baby has not caused a single second of sleep deprivation for the toddler… our house is tiny and toddler sleeps through baby’s cries no problem.
New baby has not caused a single second of sleep deprivation for the toddler… our house is tiny and toddler sleeps through baby’s cries no problem.
@markrhoward 5 c-sections checking in
There are real risks to having c-sections close together, but here’s my spacing-
4 years between births of 1 & 2.
15 months between 2 & 3.
10 years between 3 & 4.
14 months between 4 & 5.
I had some complications with a few of the pregnancies, but none were related to having close c-sections. That doesn’t mean there aren’t risks. I was on the good side of the statistics.
Any pregnancy can be hard as hell or easier than you expected. There’s no predicting that. Every pregnancy after having a baby is harder because you are also taking care of someone else. Never again do you get to rest when you want.
Taking care of a newborn and a toddler is a special challenge that will leave you wanting to cry sometimes, but there are also beautiful moments too. I don’t think age gap is a good predictor of wether or not they will play together. It’s way more dependent on personalities.
There are real risks to having c-sections close together, but here’s my spacing-
4 years between births of 1 & 2.
15 months between 2 & 3.
10 years between 3 & 4.
14 months between 4 & 5.
I had some complications with a few of the pregnancies, but none were related to having close c-sections. That doesn’t mean there aren’t risks. I was on the good side of the statistics.
Any pregnancy can be hard as hell or easier than you expected. There’s no predicting that. Every pregnancy after having a baby is harder because you are also taking care of someone else. Never again do you get to rest when you want.
Taking care of a newborn and a toddler is a special challenge that will leave you wanting to cry sometimes, but there are also beautiful moments too. I don’t think age gap is a good predictor of wether or not they will play together. It’s way more dependent on personalities.
skepticonthefence
New member
@markrhoward
- My parents took the toddler for four weeks and would bring him over just about everyday. 2. There are days when it’s really hard and I usually go to my parents so I don’t end up in a corner sobbing. 3. #3 was a surprise. I was extremely exhausted throughout most of the pregnancy and quit my job (having a third kid meant I got to quit anyway but was hoping to do that after I had child). 4. #2 sleeps through the night unless sick. #3 has been living downstairs until he is solidly sleeping through the night so he doesn’t wake 1&2. Also have a sound machine in #2 room.
josephjurg
New member
@markrhoward So the recommendation for most women who have had c sections is to wait a minimum of 1 year between pregnancies and ideally 18 months so personally I would wait. The risks of things like abruption are much higher if you get pregnant too quickly.
@markrhoward It very much depends on your health when your OB will advise you to get pregnant again. If you have zero health issues and are fit and eat well they might recommend 12-18 months of waiting, even longer if you have any medical issues or had a complicated pregnancy/delivery. If you want a VBAC it’s minimum 18 months for most providers.
That being said I had a C-section with my daughter because she was breech. I healed incredibly fast. Got pregnant 12 months PP. I went into labor at 36 weeks and had another C-section. I think the second one I healed even faster. I was able to pick up and carry my 20
Month old the day after, no one told me not too. I did intensive pelvic floor PT and fitness rehab between my pregnancies to aid in healing.
Having another definitely messed up the toddlers sleep for about a month. It was very difficult. I do now enjoy having two so close together but it’s insanity at times. Definitely go by whatever your OB advised, you want to do everything possible to avoid a uterine rupture. I waited 18 months to get pregnant with number 3 per the rec of my OB after 2 sections.
That being said I had a C-section with my daughter because she was breech. I healed incredibly fast. Got pregnant 12 months PP. I went into labor at 36 weeks and had another C-section. I think the second one I healed even faster. I was able to pick up and carry my 20
Month old the day after, no one told me not too. I did intensive pelvic floor PT and fitness rehab between my pregnancies to aid in healing.
Having another definitely messed up the toddlers sleep for about a month. It was very difficult. I do now enjoy having two so close together but it’s insanity at times. Definitely go by whatever your OB advised, you want to do everything possible to avoid a uterine rupture. I waited 18 months to get pregnant with number 3 per the rec of my OB after 2 sections.
@markrhoward I got pregnant at 10 weeks postpartum post C section. It wasn’t planned. Now I have a 7.5 month old and 18 month old. I was more worried about risk of uterine rupture than my OB. he was not worried in the least and just said we didn’t want me to go into labor. He would have wanted me to wait longer I’m sure, but he also knew my husband and I were 38 and didn’t feel like we had that much time to wait. He didn’t give me VBAC as an option for the second and I was fine with that since the first one was emergent c section.
It’s hard but it’s nowhere near as hard as I thought it would be. As for the weight restriction, that wasn’t too hard to not hold my toddler for a little bit. Honestly it was harder holding him while pregnant than post c section.
It’s hard but it’s nowhere near as hard as I thought it would be. As for the weight restriction, that wasn’t too hard to not hold my toddler for a little bit. Honestly it was harder holding him while pregnant than post c section.
cscompubnh
New member
@markrhoward Hello! You've received a lot of great feedback here already so I will try my best not to repeat a lot of what has already been said.
I just had my second baby 3 weeks ago via repeat c-section. There are almost 3 years in between my first child and new baby. In addition, my 3 year old is about 40 pounds. Also, I have a spouse who leaves often for work. Lastly, I was also advised not to try getting pregnant again for at least 1 year as well. However, I knew with how busy my first kiddo was keeping me at about a year old, I wanted a larger age gap between the kids so that wasn't a problem.
I am currently in that time period with the weight restriction. Because my toddler is a bit older, he's actually been very understanding that I can't lift him due to having a "boo boo". I think if I would have had a baby before this time (let's say 2 1/2 or younger) - my toddler would not have dealt with it well. While I can't lift him up, he still cuddles me on the couch occasionally. I think not being able to do as much with my toddler during this time period has been mentally harder on me then him so I still am trying to find creative ways to engage with him.The very couple times I've driven him to daycare, he is able to climb himself into the car which helps. Once again, I don't think he would have been able to do this without my help if he was under 2 1/2. If you choose to have a baby with a smaller age gap, I would just be prepared to have additional help from loved ones to help you navigate these spaces where lifting of the kiddo is needed. We don't have any family that live near us so I personally am glad we waited about the three year gap.
Also, the one thing I am trying to manage (and think will honestly be the biggest challenge) is navigating my toddler's emotions/giving him full attention when my husband is gone. Like many other toddlers, my son is trying to learn how to manage and communicate his emotions. Temper tantrums are the hardest part. Having a new sibling has been an adjustment for him and I know it won't be easy when my husband won't be home to help me divide up attention between the kids. I full on anticipate he will be very jealous of the baby when I'm the only one home with him. It's going to be interesting trying to juggle this.
In regards to the sleep schedule - we are not on a schedule right now with our newborn since he is feeding on demand every 3-4 hours. Our toddler is on a routine. The best thing we have done is keep our toddler in daycare 5 days a week so his routine hasn't been disturbed too much. When he's home, we have him sleeping with his Hatch sound machine so he blocks out the noise of our screaming baby. The only issue we have had is our toddler is SO excited about his little brother and constantly is trying to go in his room to say "hi" to him and wake him up
.
I'm not sure if hearing about my current experiences help at all. Please make the best decision for you and your family. Also, please continue to talk to your doctor to determine any risks as you make decisions.
Good luck on whatever you decide
I just had my second baby 3 weeks ago via repeat c-section. There are almost 3 years in between my first child and new baby. In addition, my 3 year old is about 40 pounds. Also, I have a spouse who leaves often for work. Lastly, I was also advised not to try getting pregnant again for at least 1 year as well. However, I knew with how busy my first kiddo was keeping me at about a year old, I wanted a larger age gap between the kids so that wasn't a problem.
I am currently in that time period with the weight restriction. Because my toddler is a bit older, he's actually been very understanding that I can't lift him due to having a "boo boo". I think if I would have had a baby before this time (let's say 2 1/2 or younger) - my toddler would not have dealt with it well. While I can't lift him up, he still cuddles me on the couch occasionally. I think not being able to do as much with my toddler during this time period has been mentally harder on me then him so I still am trying to find creative ways to engage with him.The very couple times I've driven him to daycare, he is able to climb himself into the car which helps. Once again, I don't think he would have been able to do this without my help if he was under 2 1/2. If you choose to have a baby with a smaller age gap, I would just be prepared to have additional help from loved ones to help you navigate these spaces where lifting of the kiddo is needed. We don't have any family that live near us so I personally am glad we waited about the three year gap.
Also, the one thing I am trying to manage (and think will honestly be the biggest challenge) is navigating my toddler's emotions/giving him full attention when my husband is gone. Like many other toddlers, my son is trying to learn how to manage and communicate his emotions. Temper tantrums are the hardest part. Having a new sibling has been an adjustment for him and I know it won't be easy when my husband won't be home to help me divide up attention between the kids. I full on anticipate he will be very jealous of the baby when I'm the only one home with him. It's going to be interesting trying to juggle this.
In regards to the sleep schedule - we are not on a schedule right now with our newborn since he is feeding on demand every 3-4 hours. Our toddler is on a routine. The best thing we have done is keep our toddler in daycare 5 days a week so his routine hasn't been disturbed too much. When he's home, we have him sleeping with his Hatch sound machine so he blocks out the noise of our screaming baby. The only issue we have had is our toddler is SO excited about his little brother and constantly is trying to go in his room to say "hi" to him and wake him up
. I'm not sure if hearing about my current experiences help at all. Please make the best decision for you and your family. Also, please continue to talk to your doctor to determine any risks as you make decisions.
Good luck on whatever you decide