Mom's who had C-sections and have 2 under 2... or 3 or 4

[markrhoward]

Hi!
I had a c section in September of 2022, so she is 5 months now. My husband has started talking about having a 2nd baby... soon! I said maybe May or June we could try (I really don't want another summer pregnancy!). I'd end up with 2 under 2 if we did this, I'm curious how you did this!

Here are my questions:
1) How did you manage the weight restriction with your toddler? I was told not to lift anything heavier than my baby for 6 weeks, but obviously my 1.5 year old will weigh more. What if she wants picked up?
2) Did you find it hard to manage both? My husband leaves for work for 1 or 2 weeks at a time so its just me A LOT! (Yes I have family to help but MIL isn't going to move in for 6 weeks during the time hubby is gone!)
3) My doctor said not to get pregnant again for at least a year, I've read about the risks. Did this concern you? Did you have any complications? Did your doctor advise the same after your 1st?
4) Did your new baby cause sleep issues with your older child? I imagine a baby waking every 2 hours would wake the older one, causing more sleep issues and less sleep for me!

And finally...
Any advise or things you wondered about or experienced that I should consider?
Thank you!

 

[anyaeversong]

@markrhoward I would strongly advise you to wait. It was really pushed when I had my c section that I need to wait at least 18 months (but ideally 2 years) before trying for another child because of the risk of uterine rupture.

I got pregnant in December, my first was 26 months and it has been so so hard. This pregnancy has been much worse than my first in terms of symptoms and I haven’t been able to take care of my child at all. My husband is doing everything. It would have been so much harder if my daughter was that little and I was feeling as crummy as I do.

 

[cscompubnh]

@anyaeversong Oooo I didn't include this in my response but yes - the second pregnancy was much harder this time around for me in terms of symptoms! I couldn't imagine doing it with a younger first child.

 

[noturavgguy]

@markrhoward I have no experience or advice for the c-section aspect, but if you’re in the US I’d be somewhat wary of getting pregnant in May. I got pregnant in May and had a baby in January and it meant that all my prenatal care fell under one deductible year, and all the delivery costs under another year. Had to pay my entire deductible twice because of this. I will definitely be doing my best to avoid a Jan/Feb baby in the future because I did not think about how it was going to fall with the insurance years until it was too late

 

[sunny14]

@noturavgguy How sad that in US women have to worry about deductibles when having a family..

 

[markrhoward]

@noturavgguy Wow that's really dumb! Good to know!! Thank you!

 

[kenorb]

@noturavgguy Not every woman gets pregnant easily and can decide which month they get pregnant in.

 

[jreeas33]

@kenorb Right, but they can hold off for a month or two to avoid a January baby

 

[katrina2017]

@markrhoward People always downvote me, but I’ve had two OBs who are very experienced (one was the head OB of the hospital and the other one went to one of the most difficult med schools in North America) tell me at minimum wait 6 months to get pregnant but their recommendation is 18 months at least BETWEEN deliveries (so that means 9 months postpartum).

 

[bessielou75]

@katrina2017 I was told the same thing! The OB who did my c-section (who has many years of experience and came highly recommended) told me while I was still on the table 18 months between deliveries. When they rolled me out she said “see you next year.”

 

[sola1517]

@katrina2017 18 months between deliveries (as opposed to between pregnancies) was what I was told as well. I’m currently pregnant, my oldest will be 21 months old when I deliver and my OB said I have a great chance at a VBAC if the baby is in the right position.

 

[preng]

@katrina2017 OP, please consult your OB about your timeline and specifically ask about the risks of a shorter timeline

 

[judsonuc77]

@markrhoward The only thing I would advise is to have a frank conversation with your doctor.

Anecdotally, I asked my OB this very same question at a post-op checkup with him just last week (I had a c-section at 37 weeks for hypertension). My main concerns were my age (I’m 35) and how long it took for us to conceive. He gave me the go-ahead to start trying at 6 months, said it would be better to wait until 12 months but 6 months would be fine. We had a long conversation about the risk of issues that myself or the fetus might experience due to the prior c-section verses the risks of chromosomal and other fetal abnormalities not related to c-section healing as I get closer to 40.

He did stress that if I were attempting to go for a VBAC, it would have to be 18 months, otherwise, he would be scheduling a c-section if he remains my doctor.

 

[aprduk]

@markrhoward I was a traumatic, post partum hemorrhage, emergency c-section with my first. I then got pregnant at 14 months post partum and was aiming for an elective section with this one. I ended up having hyperemesis and then also pre-eclampsia leading to an emergency c-section. So I had a 22 month old and newborn. I was very strict to not pick up my older child until at least 3-4 weeks. It was so hard emotionally and thankfully we had family or my husband in the house during the day for those first 4 weeks. Even now at 3 months post partum - I still need lots of help (not due to the section- just because 2 kids is really hard).

I really don't think just because your kids are 18 months or 24 months or 36 months apart is gonna dictate if they are best friends or makes it any less easier or harder. I think you need to figure out what is best for you and your family. And how much support you think you are willing to ask for and accept, as well as how much you are willing to do on your own.

All the best

 

[man_in_pain]

@markrhoward Getting pregnant less than 18 months after a cesarean can kill you. Vaginal births also aren’t recommended to be back to back because it takes about 2 years for your body to completely replenish all of the nutrients lost and rebuild bone strength. With a cesarean you have a complete sever of the uterine wall that you don’t get with vaginal deliveries. It takes about a year to heal completely and another 6 months to be not a vulnerable point. A lot of pressure is put on the uterine walls during pregnancy and childbirth so having a weak point can make it literally explode, killing you and baby within minutes. I know it doesn’t sound “fair “ but it’s for your own safety, not just the baby’s. Other risks of back to back pregnancy is having a baby with severe nutritional deficiencies that you can’t fix by breastfeeding, due to being out yourself. This can lead to not only anemia, but a very very sick baby. Please wait at least doctors recommended time frame as it is very very risky to both parties.

 

[werewolf]

@man_in_pain Just to clarify, a uterine rupture can cause significant blood loss which can put the lives of both you and the baby at risk. It doesn’t immediately and automatically kill you and baby.

 

[man_in_pain]

@werewolf My bad. I thought for sure it was lethal if not immediately addressed (why I’m not sure but my brain might have switched some things around) so thank you for correcting me!

 

[werewolf]

@man_in_pain It is serious and life threatening and would absolutely need to be addressed immediately, but it is also very rare.

 

[brenda10]

@man_in_pain Wrong it’s between births I have had two c sections c sections are only 17 months apart I was offered a v back (but did another c section ) because it’s 18 months between births not 18 months between pregnancy’s

 

[jas54pal]

@man_in_pain Your comment is very uneducated. Uterine rupture is POSSIBLE but not a guarantee by any means and scaring women like this is not okay. Are you a doctor? If not, you definitely shouldn’t be fear mongering like you are.