Losing it; 2 y/o awake for hours at a time. How to break the cycle?

[thjacks]

@duder45 I’ll take the bait, what’s so uniquely American about reading a book on how to do something? Do babies outside the states come with additional features like “easy sleeper” that you don’t need to learn about parenting techniques?

 

[bcsenior]

@thjacks Americans don’t have long mat leave which means they go back to work much sooner and thus, need babies to sleep in a pattern that means the adults are rested enough to work.

 

[spt304]

@thjacks USA is very hard on separate rooms/cribs for their babies and sleep training because they're afraid of cosleeping

 

[mariam440087]

@spt304 So the alternative is cosleeping? Ignoring any debate about risks I just wouldn't want to do that.

 

[spt304]

@mariam440087 I was only explaining why the commenter above called out the original poster as being from the USA. My family does happen to cosleep yeah, but I'm not here to argue for it, we do it for our own reasons.

 

[tomyroys]

@spt304

afraid of co-sleeping

Depending on what exactly you mean by this, research shows that co sleeping is a SIDS risk so this seems pretty reasonable to me.

 

[spt304]

@tomyroys It's tricky because SIDS has a lot of complicated risks. Smoking/alcohol consumption, drug use, obesity, nuclear households (less sleep for parents), premature births. America just decided to go all in on abandoning cosleeping, yet they still have the highest SIDS rates. Could also be how countries track infant mortality, etc. It's complicated. But the diehard sleep training and avoid cosleeping by any means style is quite American.

 

[cedric_truth]

@tomyroys As long as you’re not in the same bed SIDS risk is not increased. We’ve had pretty good experience having our children’s crib standing besides our own bed for the first year to year and a half. It makes getting up in the night less bothersome and it calms the child that it can hear you nearby when it wakes. (It will not help OP though.)

 

[worldismine]

@thjacks Sleep training in general is a fairly American thing, i believe (for the record I’m for it, we’re doing Ferber with our 1.5 year old now). My wife was against it for a while, citing many other cultures that don’t do any form of sleep training.

 

[awlecg12]

@juan08861 Yup. Honestly just hire a sleep training consultant. Best $500 you'll spend. They'll just tell you exactly what to do. Do that and it'll work.

 

[johnsonboy]

@awlecg12 Just jumping in here for all of the dads out there who, like me, will go through sleep training without success. For some, it just doesn't work.

We got the books, we hired a professional sleep trainer with glowing reviews, and went through months of sleep training without much success. We were 100% committed. No shortcuts, no waffling. We followed everything to the letter. We knew it wasn't us when the sleep trainer had to consult her colleagues and transferred us to the most experienced person she knew.

I do recommend people try sleep training, but if your kids like mine, don't feel like a failure if it still doesn't work.

 

[maxinvasion]

@johnsonboy This is exactly our experience. Thanks for putting it into words.

 

[juliejones]

@johnsonboy How did you make it work then. Im only asking because I can how it may not work on some kids. Theyre seeing you as not the actual one creating the disciplined night time routine but instead taking up someone else’s.

 

[alphaqueen]

@awlecg12 That seems highly region specific, when we looked into it the price in our area hovered at $1000 per night with 3 night minimum

 

[juan08861]

@alphaqueen You don’t need a local one. They don’t come to your house. It’s someone you have a short zoom chat with a few times

 

[alphaqueen]

@juan08861 Oh interesting, that’s different than what we looked at then. Did you find that helpful even with them not being there to witness the problem?

 

[juan08861]

@awlecg12 At this point they probably need to

 

[rhodopes]

@maxinvasion Obviously there are already comments about sleep training. I'm not going to deny that sleep training is important.

BUT there could be other explanations for the night waking. You should speak with her doctor about the issues and tell them everything you've already tried. I wouldn't do anything like melatonin without talking to a doctor first anyway. Sleep apnea, parasomnia (sleep walking), and many different physical and mental conditions can cause night waking and sleep disturbances.

Does your child snore or have breathing difficulties?Could be sleep apnea.

Does your child have any developmental delays, odd behaviors, or social issues? Could be ADHD or Autism.

Do you or your wife sleep walk or talk? Parasomnia is genetic.

Speaking from experience, our daughter has Autism and has parasomnia, but she also had severe sleep apnea due to enlarged tonsils and adenoids which made both issues worse. She had surgery and now she sleeps better, but we still give melatonin to help her sleep through the night at doctors advice.

 

[donica87]

@maxinvasion Have a routine helps...that flows into a bedtime routine. Brush teeth, put the dolls to sleep and night night at a certain time In the evening.

 

[allis0ne]

@maxinvasion I would consider fully cutting day time napping. May make for fussy early evenings but sounds like it could be worth it. Our 2 yo was evolved out of day time naps because when he naps at all started he staying up until like 11 even if it meant backing in his bed for an hour.