Keeping house tidy

@wh2 Nobody’s house is tidy when they have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Either people are lying, they have a lot more help than you do and they just aren’t mentioning it, or their kids are older and more independent than yours. I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old, and my house is a disaster 99% of the time despite spending a large portion of my time cleaning.

It will be clean again one day, but when you have young kids, it’s just not going to happen. Embrace it.
 
@hurdygurdyman Thank you. This made me feel so much better. I know you understand how it’s like you clean up one mess only for there to be 10
More messes. Even just eating meals alone there’s a constant mess.
 
@wh2 My house is only clean because because I only have one kid (she’s 2) so I can tidy up while she’s busy or napping. I’m certain if I had more than one, there’d be more mess. You’re doing fine!
 
@hurdygurdyman Exactly. Mine are 6 and 3 and I just this week feel like I have time to actually prioritize cleaning and organization now that my oldest is at school all day. The last three years has just been shoving stuff in closets and trying to declutter in spare 20 minute increments.
Give yourself some grace to be messy at this point in your life.
 
@hurdygurdyman I abuse caffeine to an unhealthy degree. My house isn’t totally spotless, but it’s passable. I wouldn’t be embarrassed if someone stopped by unexpectedly. I have a 1 month old and a 3 year old.

But it’s not a healthy coping strategy at all. My doctor tells me to cut back on the caffeine every time I see them. My therapist had many words to say about it. But either I’m caffeinated or I’m miserable. I choose happiness. So it may lead me to another mental breakdown or an early grave. That’s a problem for future me.
 
@wh2 That was the hardest part of pregnancy for me. I had an incredibly difficult pregnancy but it all would have been so much easier to cope with if I could have at least had enough caffeine. My afternoon pick me ups for pregnancy were usually smoothies, tea, or a candy bar.
 
@grandmaof4 I just picked up a Dunkin refresher that has green tea so we’ll see how that goes. It’s way too sugary for my taste but maybe I can recreate at home for an afternoon boost
 
@wh2 I hope it helps!! Pregnancy is so hard. Get as much rest as you can. I know that’s not much with kids around. You’ll have time to tidy when they’re older.

During pregnancy I narrowed down cleaning to a couple things that I felt were non negotiable. For me that was dishes, laundry, counters and the floor in the main area where toddler plays. I could let everything else slide. After the kids are in bed, I clock out. No chores after bedtime.
 
@hurdygurdyman This should be the top comment! It's pretty impossible to have a clean house with those ages. I have a 6, 4, and almost 1 year old. My house is a complete disaster. As in there is stuff on literally every flat surface in my house and I haven't done more than spot mop my kitchen floor since June.
 
@wh2 I don’t. My house is always a wreck. Something’s gotta give, and for me, it’s a tidy house. But I always get 9 hours of sleep a night, read books, and spend time with my kids. I’ll prioritize a clean house when they are all in school.
 
@wh2 Oh man, it’s just the season you are in. Do what you can when you can but seriously it just doesn’t matter. You are caring for young children and growing another inside you. Keep them safe and happy and nothing else matters! You can have neat house when they get older and they can help or at least stop destroying rooms right after you clean them. I have teens now and most of my house is picked up and tidy but my kitchen is always destroyed. Another season…
 
@wh2 With time, you'll gain perspective. By that I mean your brain will forget how big and often the messes were and just focus on the cute and endearing things.

I've forgotten the messes even though my four year old is making one right now... An hour after I cleaned that area of the house...
 
@wh2 You sound like me- there are times when my house is tidy and there are times when it's chaos. I've got two- (3y and 3m) and a lot of it is contingent on their moods and whether or not they nap or the toddler gets into the activity I've planned for cleaning time or not.

I'd recommend the book: How to Keep House While Drowning. It's got good tips and also helps with the mindset that mess is morally neutral- it's not a bad thing nor is it a good thing, it just is. The ones that have helped me the most are the 4 step cleaning for tackling big messes (1. Trash, 2. Dishes, 3. Laundry, 4. Things with a place), bins for organization, and not folding laundry before putting it away.

I also decided what my priorities are: floors need to be clean since I've got pets and a baby who hangs out down there, dishes, and laundry. The house can function without other stuff being done.
 
@chrismclure42 Seconding this book recommendation! I listened to the audiobook version (while cleaning haha sob) and I had no idea how badly I needed to hear it. It's read by the author and frankly I found it very moving as well as practically helpful.
 
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