Is it weird to ask if my daughter is invited to a birthday party?

[greggkj]

My daughter is in preschool with about 15 kids in the class. My friend asked if we were going to Sally’s birthday party this weekend.

I said I never got an invite and my friend sent me a pic of the invite that she got from her daughter’s cubby. These are basically all 3-4 year olds so no “school drama” that I know of lol. And my friends daughter just started last week so she’s brand new.

Anyway, my friend asked the mom if all the class is invited and she said yes so I then texted saying I was sorry I didn’t see my invite but we’d love to come if my daughter is in fact invited.

She was kind and said yes of course. But then never answered when I asked about gifts for her daughter whatever.

My husband thinks it was beyond weird I asked about my daughter being invited…. Was it weird?

I feel bad, my daughter loves to play with other kids and my friend didn’t wanna go alone and not know anyone.

Edit to add exact response:

Absolutely! We would love to have her! Everyone in the class should of gotten an invite!

Edit to also mention: I definitely have no care to actually go hahah not something I’m doing for myself. But there was a RSVP on it and if it fell out of her cubby I also felt like I’d come off as a jerk if she thought I ignored it and never RSVPd. My friend has NO IDEA who this mom or kid is hence why she texted me.

 

[takkula]

@greggkj Eh, based on the reply i think you did fine.

I probably wouldn't but it worked out ok. If the whole class was supposed to be invited then now they are.

 

[greggkj]

@takkula Yeah I never would have asked if my friend wasn’t asking me to go too. Ugh now I feel extra awkward based on confirmations

 

[takkula]

@greggkj No i mean just let the awkwardness go. You did it, she gave a very convincing reply that your kid should have been invited, take it at face value. Maybe take a hostess gift to be the best parent at the party lol.

At the end of the day if I was that mum I would be fine with it. Prob half the kids don't come anyway and they will be grateful for the ones who do.

 

[greggkj]

@takkula Thank you for this and love the idea of a hostess gift- I make my own wine I can take a bottle!

 

[eamonn]

@greggkj I did hostess gifts a lot at that age - it’s the parents who need a little something, not more toys for a tot.

 

[greggkj]

@eamonn Yes I love this idea and wrapped some wine lol

 

[peterbrent]

@greggkj Most classes don’t let you send an invite home from school if you aren’t inviting the whole class. So seems probable everyone was supposed to get an invite and yours just fell out or something

 

[stpetersadvocate]

@greggkj It's weird after about 2nd grade, when friend circles start forming. Preschoolers don't have friends circles, they're just tiny little blobs that poop, eat and ask pointless questions.

 

[greggkj]

@stpetersadvocate That’s what my thought process was too haha and as far as I know, not many of the moms know each other bc they comment about how my daughter and my friends daughter are the only ones they see that TRULY know each other outside of school since her friend started last week

 

[2tim_215]

@stpetersadvocate The pointless questions
They are funny, though.

 

[alwaysbethinkin]

@2tim_215 I used to say parenting a toddler/young child is like being a broken record. I felt like I was always having to say the same shit over and over again. Haha!

 

[janeevans89]

@greggkj Well, please report back here after the party. We are curious as to whether indeed the whole class was invited.

 

[greggkj]

@janeevans89 I mean even if they were all invited I doubt all would attend

 

[greggkj]

@janeevans89 My daughter ended up being the ONLY child to come from her class.

The mom assured me she gave the invites to the school owner and asked her to put in cubbies and didn’t wanna throw her under the bus lol but she absolutely intended for all kids to be invited.

Different story for another day, but my friends daughter didn’t even end up making it.

 

[janeevans89]

@greggkj I hope your daughter and the birthday child had fun!

 

[greggkj]

@janeevans89 Yes, it did seem they did )

 

[thyda]

@greggkj Honestly I would have done the same thing. You got confirmation from your friend that the person doing the inviting said that the whole class was invited. It’s perfectly reasonable that the invitation could have gotten lost, especially if there were no names on the envelopes.

I would have been so upset to find out someone didn’t get the invite if I had made one for them. And the response you got confirms it. Don’t feel bad and enjoy the party!

 

[greggkj]

@thyda Thank you! Also the cubbies are in like an open space area where anyone walking by can grab stuff and it’s next to other classrooms too if that makes sense. And it’s toddlers running around so I really didn’t want to come off as ignoring an invite..

 

[zander12]

@greggkj I agree that I would have done the same. At our daycare invites go out to the entire class if sent through the school. If you are only inviting a few from a class then it's on the parent to get all their contact info to send an invite. So if your friend got the invite in her daughter's cubby then it sounds like a complete mistake. Mom's response confirms it. I don't think it's awkward at all. Go, have fun, and don't overthink it.