@straw23 I would absolutely not feel comfortable with a strangers children staying with me in a hotel room, nor would I allow my child to stay with a stranger in theirs.
This is an extremely weird suggestion. Why do the adults need to get to know other people’s kids better anyway? And in a hotel room on vacation?
@straw23 My kid doesn't need to be alone with an adult that I DONT EVEN KNOW, to get to know them. My kid wouldn't be going on this trip. That woman's mother is weird as hell. I don't think I'd even want my kids around here after that kind of suggestion.
@straw23 Nope nope nope nope nope! It is not appropriate for your ex to take the kids overnight somewhere with him and allow the kids to cohabit with OTHER adults that you don't know. This kind of situation has the potential to be unsafe, and if he can't see that it is weird and inappropriate on his own, then I think there are some bigger issues that you probably aren't going to be able to resolve without the help of a professional, like a coparent counselor or a lawyer. My advice is to talk with him again. Tell him you get it that this situation could be awkward for him, but that you need him to put his foot down for the benefit of the kids. If he can't get on the same page and is going to allow this to happen, then your kids are old enough for you to have a talk with them and make sure they understand what types of behaviors are unsafe and what they need to report to you about. Help the kids to protect themselves by being armed with information about sexual abuse and predatory behaviors. Remind them that most likely they will not be in an unsafe situation, but they need to be vigilant because you don't know these other adults. No adult should tell them to keep a secret, should touch them or take picture of them, etc. There are some great books online to help you talk to your kids about what is and isn't safe behavior. As a parent this situation sucks, but your kids are old enough where they can report to you any upsetting and inappropriate behavior, and these are some good lessons for them to learn anyway!
@straw23 Really disturbing, SCREAMS family sexual abuse. I wouldn’t even let them go due to safety concerns. If the Dad insists, everyone on the thread: is this grounds to keep them due to safety concerns, or file emergency custody hearing or something? I think I would be willing to risk it. Even if they agree to normal room arrangements, maybe stay in the same hotel overnight for safety’s sake?
