I'm writing a kids book (ages 3-6) about mental illness and need some advice

[sab8]

EDIT: You all are giving really good advice and I've taken a lot of notes. I think I'm also upping the age range to 5-7. I forget how small 3 year olds are because I dont interact with any ever.

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I'm currently working on a kid's book about having an adult in your life with an mood disorder, similar to bipolar because I wish there had been a book like this when I was a kid. But I don't have kids, so I'm asking people who do.

Parents who take daily meds, how do refer to them? Do you use the term medicine or medication?

If you have mental illness, how do you explain it? I know it's a super complicated subject.

I wrote:

In the beginning-

“Punky seemed sad while you were gone. Dad says you moods were too big because your brain is sick. Is it contagious?” asked Beatrice.

“No. It's a mental illness so you can't catch it, Bee.” reassured her aunt.

At the end-

“Sometimes I feel so excited, I play video games for ten days straight and only eat popcorn. I totally forget to wash my stinky socks and water my plants.”

“Other days I feel so down, I don't want to get out of bed or even look at screens. I feel sleepy and my stomach hurts. I don't want to brush my hair or cook dinner."

Sorry for all the text, I appreciate any answers.

 

[niman]

@sab8 I tell her that mommy takes medicine to help her brain because it’s different then hers. Her brain has the proper wires where mine are crossed and medicine is uncrossing them

 

[sab8]

@niman Happy cake day! I really like that. I think I might use something to that effect. Thank you!

 

[niman]

@sab8 Thank you! If you have any questions or whatever just dm me ! I have bipolar and am medicated for it

 

[sab8]

@niman Thank you so much. I'm bipolar too. I googled to see if there's any kids books about it and there's like none.

 

[niman]

@sab8 I’ve been looking for one myself lol

 

[anonymouslizard]

@niman This is how I phrase it to my son. And I did the same when we started looking at options for him (ASD and ADHD).

"Daddy just needs brain medicine to help his brain. Some people need medicine when they hurt, some people need medicine because parts of their body don't work the way they're supposed to. That happens sometimes, and that's okay."

When we started talking to him about his own brain medicine:
"How do you feel about it? You sometimes tell me that your brain is too loud and you can't control it. Do you want to try some brain medicine that should help you control it?"

In this case, we're referring to impulse control. Kid has none of it. He's very receptive and understands and wants to try it. But mental illness is normalized in my home; I'm a healthcare worker and I have friends/family with mental illness from ADHD to schizophrenia.

 

[niman]

@anonymouslizard That is so amazing - keep on being amazing dad and he is so so lucky to have you

 

[anonymouslizard]

@niman I'm mom, but explain things for dad!

 

[niman]

@anonymouslizard Even better haha I do that too on his things lol I amend - you’re an amazing mom and they both are lucky to have you

 

[pastormoazzam]

@sab8 I have a friend who has schizophrenia and a ~5 year old daughter. He is medicated but still has hallucinations sometimes.
He explained to his daughter that "his brain is a bit silly, so it makes him have nightmares even though he's awake".
This worked well, his daughter understands why he sees/hears things that aren't there and therefore she is not afraid of him or his condition.

I'm a social worker and i really appreciate your idea! Books are a great way to teach children about such things and there definitely aren't enough books that talk about mental health. So thank you!

 

[sab8]

@pastormoazzam Thank you! I really want to get it right so I'm glad I asked here. I like the bit about his brain being silly. I'm definitely going to include something akin to that.

 

[pastormoazzam]

@sab8 I'm not entirely sure which word is the best to use though. For example, "sick brain" might be a bit too negative and could make the child worry about the parent. "Silly" is probably more appropriate for children because it doesn't sound as harsh, but that's just my opinion. Good luck!

 

[sab8]

@pastormoazzam I agree. And thank you!

 

[pastormoazzam]

@sab8 You're welcome!

 

[daviss9097]

@sab8 Maybe instead of 'brain'...Thoughts...my thoughts can be silly. And if you want to elevate knowledge, incorporate "My Perception seems silly sometimes".

My daughter new the difference between centrifugal and centripetal when she was 5. All because she worried she might fly out of a ride at the carnival and I explained it. One pushes in, the other pushes out and you are secure in the boundaries.

Children are not stupid. They simply need to understand. Some learn differently than others. Youth is best time to teach and for them to absorb information.

Best of luck for your book!

 

[katrina2017]

@sab8 I use the proper terms for safety reasons with my 4 year old.
I tell him that some people have different brains than others and mine needs medicine to help my mind and body be healthy. (I say actually how he has it and mine doesn't and all I need to do is take my medication.)
He knows that some people's bodies are sick, but also that you can have illnesses/things you can't see on the inside.
I don't go into what it's like for me to be ill for a couple of reasons. I can mostly manage it and on days I have anxiety and can't function as well my husband helps me by taking over and letting me rest.
I think it's cool you're writing a children's book about this though. My mother took her own life when I was 13 and I think it would have been helpful for me to know my mom was sick in a different way and it wasn't because of our behavior. Best of luck.

 

[sab8]

@katrina2017 Thank you for your response. I like the idea of talking about different brains. Another commenter mentioned it too and I'm going to work it in.

I know what you mean about having someone around you who had mental illness. For me, it was a friend growing up who I didn't understand at all. Even when it was explained that it was bipolar disorder, i walked away thinking "bipolar people are all mean. Got it!" Which is obviously not true. It took being an adult and being diagnosed myself to shake those incorrect assumptions.

I think if there had been a book like that as a kid, it would have helped.

 

[finalact]

@sab8 If we are specifically talking about ages 3-6… when my daughter was that age I referred to it as “medicine”. TBH even though my daughter is now almost 18 and both of us do use the term “meds”, most of the time when talking to each other we still say “medicine”. Probably because of our early habits.

When my daughter was your target audience age, I was stable enough that I did not choose to explain mental illness or bipolar disorder to her. We very much learned that everyone is different for all sorts of reasons and we give kindness and understanding to everyone regardless of our differences. I did not see a reason to speak specifically to just mental illness at such a young age. You’ve got some great ideas but I would probably Target a slightly older audience, maybe more like 7-10. Naturally that would probably also change how you’re explaining things.

Keeping it real, at that age I would have done everything and anything to avoid telling her our brains are different or that she couldn’t “catch it”, though technically true. I knew that having two parents with bipolar disorder puts her at higher risk. I would not want to reassure her that her brain didn’t have the same problem because we had no way of knowing yet. And I certainly would not have wanted to tell her she was at risk of also having a mood disorder because that seems too young to burden them with that knowledge IMO.

I do agree the the person who commented about drawing the distinction between a bad day/week and having an episode that needs treatment. Also the distinction between appropriate situational mood changes and mood changes because of a mood disorder. Even people who have a mood disorder are allowed to have a bad day, or be sad when grieving without the people around them thinking there’s a problem.

 

[sab8]

@finalact I really appreciate your input. I'm writing this because I wish there had been a book about this kind of thing when I was their age, but I think you might be right about making it for older kids than 3 year olds. By the time I turned 5 though, I did know someone with bipolar and i wish there had been a book on it because I walked away with totally the wrong impression.

I dont know anyone with kids so I forget how little 3 year olds really are.

Your other points are great. I took a bunch of notes from this. I'll definitely keep in mind about the "catching" part and the situationally appropriate vs. Episode bit.