Im an au pair for a 28 month old, Parents want me to ask her questions while she engages in play but I’ve found that letting them explore things without my interruption is great for developing independence. Not quite sure how to approach the situation now as I don’t want the parents to think I’m ignoring the child.
Also, they want me to ask her questions in English (they’re Spanish) but she doesn’t understand me so she ignores me. I speak Spanish so it would be better for our connection if I spoke to her in a way she understands.
@kazurk I teach preschool. I'd do a mix. Purposely engage at times. "What do you think will happen if we let go of the car? Woah! It went super fast!" But other times just let her be, especially if she's really focused. My own son is just over 2 and I love watching him get engaged on his own. He'll come to me a lot but you're right, leave them alone and they develop independence. It's not hard to figure out the best times to engage. Explain to the parents that there are times you will really engage her but it is best to let her be at other times and you can still be productive doing other assigned tasks while she plays solo.
As far as the language, I'd use both. Read a book. Point out things in Spanish first, then in English. Ask her questions in both (what's the cat doing? He's sleeping!") but start with Spanish. I've got ELLs in my preschool class and it's just constant use of English that helped them improve, especially with a routine. I don't speak any of their home languages so it took them several months to really seem to understand but I've had this one boy for 7m now who can nicely express himself in English despite still using many errors. Went from mostly ignoring me in English to only ignoring me because he loves playing and doesn't want to stop. Other times he will instantly respond to what I'm saying.
Look up super simple songs. They have Eng and Sp. Listen in both. They're kids' nursery songs that are very recognizable so it'd be easy to play it in English and repeat the lyrics in Spanish.
@kazurk Hello! I don't know if this will be helpful but I'm just gonna share it
I have a 2 year old myself. Whenever she plays, sge either wants to play by herself or with me. When she wants to play by herself, I just let her be. When she gets bored or wants me to play with her, I do and I would just ask her what she was holding or what she wants to do. Any open ended question. Or I would ask her colors or count with her. She's also fluent in our language and still learning english so what I do is I talk/ask her in our language and then translate it to English or vice versa.
@kazurk This might be unpopular, but I would be mindful they’re employing you to look after their child and are asking specific things of you as that - I get that you don’t fully agree with what they’re asking for, but it’s not for you to make these parenting decisions. I think you got some good advice from fellow commenters, best approach could be to communicate with the parents to understand where they’re coming from and do a mix / compromise. But as much as I agree with some of the sentiment of what you’re saying and I might do the same with my kid as you suggested, it’s a parenting choice that they’re asking you to extend so I would just be mindful of that. Maybe start by asking questions and being open in trying to understand what they want to achieve by this? For example I love leaving my toddler to independent play but I’m mindful he’s a bit behind on speech, so I need to also make a strong effort to narrate what he does and find lots of teaching moments too
@blackakira I did an au pair job in my 20s too, maybe legally I didn’t phrase it right, but the parents are providing you with food, accommodation, pocket money etc in return for you to provide childcare. So it doesn’t really change my point that parenting decisions are not for the au pair to make and they’re there to fulfil their side of the bargain (doesn’t mean they have to agree to everything all the time or don’t have rights, and as I said they can start a dialogue if they need to understand something further. But other than clarifying the language, I’m not sure your comment changes my point whether you agree or not)
@kazurk You could try documenting what she is doing while she is playing independently. There are some reasons to do that (not to excess) like looking for patterns or communicating with the parents, but also it may look like you are doing something.
Otherwise, I'd just be present and responsive. Kids usually pause their play, show you stuff, switch between activities, and generally offer plenty of time to talk. Asking her a ton of questions in an unfamiliar language exclusively might not be as helpful as mixing it up with naming objects, narrating some of her actions and your actions, and responding in different ways.
I would guess that one of the reasons they hired you is because they want their child to learn English when it is easy for her to learn, so I would stick to speaking in English for the most part. Part of your role is exposing her to a new language. I might do Spanish when giving her directions but also say it in English.
