If you could turn back time, would you still have a child?

[scarabaphile]

@fudge I think everyone can relate to your feelings of wanting to quit. SAHM is even more thankless than SAHD. It is grueling and nonstop and there is no HR available for when your little “coworker” is treating you like s***. I would do it again. BUT we would plan for it significantly better than we did. Take it from me…YOLO is not recommended when deciding to become a parent. If I could do it again we would wait 1 year so both of us could work as much as possible to pay off our debt first. Then we would schedule a vasectomy as soon as I gave birth. Then we would move much closer to grandparents so we could use them as childcare. Then we would schedule someone to watch our son once a week every single week till the end of time!

 

[telldtruth]

@fudge Yes. It has been awesome. I know the world is a bit of a dumpster fire but our little bubble for the past 2 years has found joy and excitement in many ways. It is fun, fulfilling, and pretty entertaining. After the first 3 months of no sleep, at least.

 

[sal93h]

@fudge I'm 22 with a 2 year old. Knowing what I know now (mainly covid) I would of probably waited a few years. Covid has made it difficult to truly enjoy parenthood.

 

[s010]

@fudge Probably not. I don’t love being a mom. My daughter is smart and funny and loving… but she’s also very emotional and very needy. I suspect I have always had anxiety but it was manageable. Now I struggle with both anxiety and what I assume is waves of depression. I can’t keep up with housework. I can’t keep up with her. I’m not happy, ever. Parenthood is definitely not what I thought it would be. And also everything I thought it would be.

 

[theprayerpeople]

@fudge I would say yes and no. Can't decide which one I lean more to.

I love my kid from the deepest pit of my heart but the responsibility is REALLY scary, and it doesn't get easier with age it gets harder and harder. I feel like I'm under the microscope whenever she's around. Every word I say, every thing I do, every way I react should be monitored first. It's a lot of pressure. And the fact of having her as an only child makes me feel like there's no room to screw this up.

But there are those moments when she says something that makes me laugh, or does something that makes people admire her upbringing which makes me feel proud and worthy because I DID this.. I've achieved something.

Raising a kid is like a roller coaster.

 

[itsagoodday]

@theprayerpeople God that microscope thing is SO RELATABLE. Everything I do feels analyzed and watched by everyone around and I'm constantly freaking out I'm handling a situation or meltdown wrong.

 

[electr014]

@fudge Yes! My son is the best thing to ever happen to me and he’s the joy of our family. I thought life was great before but with him great has taken on a whole deeper meaning.

 

[leras]

@fudge No. She’s 11 1/2. And no. I wouldn’t. Though if I didn’t have her I’d probably have more than one with someone else. I always thought I wanted more than one.

 

[vivalaviva]

@fudge No. 4 month old that sleeps like shit, this just isn't for me. Old life basically over, no time for hobbies, and it's also just affecting my performance at work.

 

[ibantpi]

@fudge No I wouldn't.

I love my daughter so, so much but this is difficult. She's four. Pregnancy was horrible, I had hyperemesis (took a couple of my teeth), I was alone (TW: non-consensual conception), she was born with clubfoot so full leg casts for years, bedtime equipment, several operations. Then she was a complex case, so she was sent to London twice a week, I was leaving the house at 4am to get her to an appointment in London at 9.30am. Then the travel home - NOT easy.

Shes always slept like crap. There was a very long period of time where she'd sleep for 20 minutes, be up for four hours, rinse & repeat. Didn't sleep a 2 hour block until she was over 2 years old. She had colic for longer than usual, reflux, cows milk allergy, an allergy to a preservative that's found in... EVERYTHING! Now she's being assessed for autism.

Outside of that; fuck this world. The older I get the scarier it seems to be. Every empire that's ever been has collapsed, the last couple years have felt like the start of our collapse. You can't trust anybody in a position of power, the police have been nigh on fucking useless for decades, every election is just choosing the person who doesn't want to fuck you over & hoping they stick to that.

It's impossible to get on the property ladder, university & college degrees don't hold any weight any more, childcare is ridiculous, wages are shameful, nobody can afford to live on this planet without serious planning; unless they come from old money.

It's a frightening world & I hope there's some crazy revolution starting. The powers that be have way too much power & they're abusing it for even more money.

 

[katrina2017]

@fudge Nope. I feel awful for creating him and forcing this burning planet on him. I love him and he’s got a nice little life, but he doesn’t deserve all this.

 

[jasper353]

@katrina2017 This. This exactly. The guilt. It makes me sick sometimes Hugs

 

[katrina2017]

@jasper353 Thanks for the hugs. I do okay mostly, and honestly it helps to focus on my commitment to OAD when I’d originally planned multiples. I’m saving the other one or two kids from existing during climate collapse, and that’s somethin…

 

[tulsajet6]

@fudge Yes. I works.

Can you work maybe part time? Maybe being a SAHM isn’t something that works for you and that’s ok.

 

[eagerbeaver]

@fudge Yes, I love being a mom and although it has been really hard, she’s also made the pandemic better especially holidays. I had a mental health crisis after she was born and as a result am finally getting the care I need even if it is virtual.

I do worry about climate change and I do feel in my bones how parents have been treated during Covid but I think that is our call to action now. Maybe we can’t solve it, maybe something worse will happen, but honestly throughout history there have been way worse times to be born than now.

 

[eagleman1992]

@fudge That’s a tough question. I love my son but what you don’t know don’t hurt ya kind of mentality will tell you nope. But if I know what I know now I would have him. No more than him though. Scary to think to go through all of that.

 

[katrina2017]

@fudge I was a teen mom. I regret having a kid so young, I feel like it took my time away from being able to live my teen years. My daughter is 3 now and I’m 20. If I could have her when I was much older, that’s what I would do.

 

[manilaswiss]

@katrina2017 I can understand this sentiment, wanting to hold off til you were a little older. I couldn’t imagine having been a teen mom. I had my daughter unplanned at 24 and I did see what I missed from my peers through IG posts & shit like that. But now that I’m 31, I don’t feel like I missed out anymore. I would much rather choose this life a million times over. Everything else is fake and curated. We find our own magic and fun in the real world together now that she’s old enough.

 

[mikeisraelite72]

@fudge Absolutely! My son made me a better person all around as well as happier. He’s my everything. I never knew a love so strong. However, I wish I had done things differently regarding my labor/delivery and when my son was a newborn. I do wish I could go back and do things differently. Like for example, I got induced at 39 weeks for no reason. Big mistake lmao. Hospital staff gave me panic attacks. If I could go back, I would have gone to a different hospital. Maybe stayed at my moms house for some help during those first few weeks. But other than that, I can’t imagine a life without my son. It would be so boring and depressing. He brings out the kid in me. I always have company, he’s my favorite person ever. I love taking care of him. I wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything in the entire world.

 

[jse]

@fudge No. I love my kid but I'd be happier without. 9 more years and this kid will be done with school and I can move to live near the people I want to live near.