Always listen to your gut, mamas. I went to the ER at 18w2d because I KNEW my water was leaking (woke up in a huge wet spot, had been up an hour or two before and hadn’t had to pee). I told them I was concerned because I had just had a UTI the week before, and from my time in nursing school, I know that UTIs are a risk factor for complications. That ER did an ultrasound, but no pelvic exam or swab testing, just a urine culture and told me I “probably just peed on myself, because I still had some fluid,” then sent me home with antibiotics because the first round didn’t work on the UTI.
Well, I go about thinking everything must be fine and I’m overreacting, because that’s how they treated me. But, I still had the terrible feeling in my gut that something was wrong, because I would still leak and I’d have intermittent cramping, but all sporadic, no specific timing. About a week and a half later, at 19w6d, I went to the bathroom and wiped up blood. Went into a different ER that I know and trust better, and they sent me straight to L&D, where they told me that baby boy had almost no amniotic fluid around him at all.
They said that I had to have been right and had been leaking for the past week and a half. I was essentially put on bed rest in the hopes that I could stay pregnant until 23 weeks, when my hospital’s NICU could treat him. I ended up going in a few days later with cramping that had spread to my back, but because I had no fluid and was only 20w2d, it was hard for them to tell if I was truly in labor. They said my uterus was likely just irritated, and baby boy still looked good, so they weren’t too worried. They offered for me to stay overnight, but I declined because I thought I was just being over dramatic.
I stayed on bed rest for a few more days, still with that overall crampy feeling in my abdomen and lower back. I had a high-risk OB visit on that Wednesday where baby’s heartbeat still sounded good and we were laying out the plan. I was so optimistic, but I just had this nagging thought that it wouldn’t work out how I wanted. It especially hit hard when they had asked if I was “sure” I wanted to continue the pregnancy or induce labor now. I went home with the pain steadily worsening, but still managed to sleep that night. I woke up at about 1:20 in the morning feeling like I needed to use the bathroom, and had given birth at home at 1:23 in the morning on December 7th, at 20w6d. He lived for 2 hours and 8 minutes.
Now, instead of planning my baby shower, I had to plan his funeral. Instead of buying baby clothes, I had to buy a 12 inch casket. Instead of looking for pediatricians, I’m looking for and struggling to find a malpractice lawyer to take my case, since the first hospital could have diagnosed me, but overlooked diagnostic criteria and didn’t order any consults or the simple pH swab to diagnose me. If I had been diagnosed there in the first place, my baby could have made it. I wish I had listened to my gut and gotten a second opinion that day… maybe then my baby would still be safe with me…
Well, I go about thinking everything must be fine and I’m overreacting, because that’s how they treated me. But, I still had the terrible feeling in my gut that something was wrong, because I would still leak and I’d have intermittent cramping, but all sporadic, no specific timing. About a week and a half later, at 19w6d, I went to the bathroom and wiped up blood. Went into a different ER that I know and trust better, and they sent me straight to L&D, where they told me that baby boy had almost no amniotic fluid around him at all.
They said that I had to have been right and had been leaking for the past week and a half. I was essentially put on bed rest in the hopes that I could stay pregnant until 23 weeks, when my hospital’s NICU could treat him. I ended up going in a few days later with cramping that had spread to my back, but because I had no fluid and was only 20w2d, it was hard for them to tell if I was truly in labor. They said my uterus was likely just irritated, and baby boy still looked good, so they weren’t too worried. They offered for me to stay overnight, but I declined because I thought I was just being over dramatic.
I stayed on bed rest for a few more days, still with that overall crampy feeling in my abdomen and lower back. I had a high-risk OB visit on that Wednesday where baby’s heartbeat still sounded good and we were laying out the plan. I was so optimistic, but I just had this nagging thought that it wouldn’t work out how I wanted. It especially hit hard when they had asked if I was “sure” I wanted to continue the pregnancy or induce labor now. I went home with the pain steadily worsening, but still managed to sleep that night. I woke up at about 1:20 in the morning feeling like I needed to use the bathroom, and had given birth at home at 1:23 in the morning on December 7th, at 20w6d. He lived for 2 hours and 8 minutes.
Now, instead of planning my baby shower, I had to plan his funeral. Instead of buying baby clothes, I had to buy a 12 inch casket. Instead of looking for pediatricians, I’m looking for and struggling to find a malpractice lawyer to take my case, since the first hospital could have diagnosed me, but overlooked diagnostic criteria and didn’t order any consults or the simple pH swab to diagnose me. If I had been diagnosed there in the first place, my baby could have made it. I wish I had listened to my gut and gotten a second opinion that day… maybe then my baby would still be safe with me…
it means “the cosmos/the universe” because he really was our whole universe
I lost him on 11/22/22. Sending you and your family so much love as you grieve your sweet Daniel.
So sorry for your loss. Hope you get to grow and love your rainbow baby soon 