I need stories of your kiddos moving to their own sleep space

[skoomaki]

@bloodboughtchad You are not creating a dependent monster. You really cannot spoil a 2 month old. Like not even a little.

My 10 month old is now in his own room and I am in a single mattress on his floor right now. He was a contact napper until 5 months old when I was finally able to transfer him to the crib for the very first time. I would hold him for 20 minutes until deep sleep and then put him down. At first it was only a 10 minute nap in the crib and then slow and steady it got longer and longer! At 8 months he linked a sleep cycle on his own for the first time in my absolute amazement!! At night, we went from cosleeping to a side-car crib which was a life saver for my back. One day we were just able to put the rails back on, then one day he was able to nap in the pack and play with a cozy mattress topper.

My advice is to ignore everyone when it comes to what your baby should be doing to sleep because you will know! There was absolutely no way I could put my baby shown "drowsy but awake" and the suggestion to do it was confusing to me. It didn't feel right for my baby. It didn't even feel relevant for him. But then one day, I had a gut feeling that he felt safe enough in his crib to try it out. We never changed things up unless he was showing signs that he was ready and you'll know when your baby is ready.

These days, we cosleep in the early morning to get a few more hours in from 4 am - 6 am. But just this morning he slept all night in the pack n play without the morning cosleep (which makes me a little sad). And this is a baby who was up every 40 minutes for like 3 months straight! It's amazing how much they can change just with time and responsiveness to their needs.

Our babies are going to grow up whether we like it or not. They will not be 17 years old and contact napping. They will actually hate waking up in the morning one day!

Maybe your baby will need lots of support all year, or for 2 years, or less, or more, but that's because they are a baby! We are human and love sleeping with our partners, pets, fluffy pillows, etc. Why wouldn't a baby need similar comforts? Especially so young. The only guarantee is that they will change and keep changing before our eyes.

 

[bloodboughtchad]

@skoomaki I love this. Thank you

 

[jimmy622]

@bloodboughtchad I feel confident in saying you are not ruining her or turning her into a dependent monster! It’s easy to say in hindsight and hard to notice when you’re in the thick of it but sleep really does change all the time. Some days might be worse but over time it will get better.

We coslept with our LO from 5 to 9 months and I often asked myself the same questions. By 9 months we realised we were all just keeping each other awake and no one was feeling well rested, so we transitioned to starting the night in her own crib in her own room and brought her in to cosleep when she woke at an appropriate time for us to go to bed/if we were already in bed. Then gradually as we’ve been feeling better rested we’ve been able to settle her in her own room and bring her in later and later over time. Now she comes in to cosleep around 5 so I still get lots of lovely snuggles but also get a long stretch in bed without being regularly kicked or having my nipple sucked on all night!

 

[zailan3]

@bloodboughtchad My LG is 3yo now. We coslept from when she was born until about 14m. From 8m we tried to put her in her cot for some playtime and naps, and we slowly extended this to bed time. She would go down in her cot and then when she woke in the night she’d come in with me. Once she was down to 1 or 2 wakes a night we started resettling her in her room, often my partner would do that so it was different to how I’d do so with milk and cuddles in bed. She now asks to go to bed and settles herself and sleeps until the morning so definitely not ruined!

For the c-curl pain. I used to sometimes will onto my back, but leave my leg curled up under her and my arm above so I still couldn’t roll over her, but I got to stretch out a bit. I tried not to fall asleep in that position but I felt safe if I did

 

[kentuckytim]

@bloodboughtchad My baby is 7.5 months old and going through a sleep regression. I don’t mean to dishearten you but I think as she got older, I just got used to how things are and got over caring whether or not she sleeps independently. I just adjust myself to her routine and try to fit my life around it as much as possible.

 

[ajo17]

@bloodboughtchad I can’t help re switching to their own room, however I was also where you are and in so much pain from the c curl m. Then I read on here that until your baby is more mobile & wriggles down, done mums weren’t c-curling. My bub is 3.5 months and my back & hips are so much happier for not c-curling!

I have read at 4 months after the sleep regression/progression some babies realise they want to sleep independently more. And don’t worry about creating habits, you are creating a safe attachment to you so your LO will be more confident and is likely to be more independent in the future.

 

[christian002]

@ajo17 What positions do you sleep in now?

 

[ajo17]

@christian002 My arms will be positioned like the c curl, but my legs will be straight or a much softer and more natural bent position which I find much more comfortable.

 

[sparagmos]

@bloodboughtchad You're not creating a dependent monster! But if you're in physical pain, then you need to find a way that works for you.

I loved co-sleeping with my LO until ca 4 months, but then she started to toss and turn and hit me with her legs (even through her sleep sack...). So I put her crib next to me (basically attached to my side) on my level and now we sleep close to each other, but I feel like I can relax better in my sleep. Sure, there's the inconvenience of lifting her for a feed, but I mostly do it 1-2x and then around 5 am transfer her to our bed. But at least some 6 hours I can sleep more relaxed.

 

[ezek1234]

@bloodboughtchad Transitioned my son from cosleeping to sleeping in his room around 14 months. Not going to lie it was difficult but somehow that has turned into him telling me to leave the room and putting himself to sleep alone in his own room at 23 months.

 

[kyleeak]

@bloodboughtchad Frankly kids bed share until parents set and maintain a boundary that they sleep in their own bed. and no longer . You can do that whenever you feel want whether it’s now or in a few months or years.

Plenty of kids desist on their own. It usually looks like a natural slow decline where the kid becomes more interested in their big kid bed and spends more and more time there.

Frankly I don’t see that it ever fully naturally stops though. I still will take an occasional nap with my mom when I visit and I’m decades older than your baby lol.

 

[xavierarr]

@bloodboughtchad Right now I'm exactly with you, 2 months old bed sharing. I don't have a personal story but my best friend whk went through the same situation is absolutely sure bedshearing was the best thing she did for her extremely "needy" newborn and before he turned 1 he was actually looking for his alone space. There were phases where he needed a little bit more closeness again, but after a year he was a strong independent sleeper. Hes going to be 4 years now and he's a happy independent boy

 

[6110030070081]

@bloodboughtchad My daughter is in her bed now and refuses to sleep in our bed/with us. She’s been doing this since she was about 27 months. We had her on a floor bed for a little when she was 18 months, but at 17 months the transition was alarmingly easy.

We built up excitement around her bed, bought a cover she chose, made her room all special and ‘her room’ and then left it to her to tell us when she was ready. It took a couple of nights reading stories there until she decided that she wanted to sleep in her big girl bed. Now she refuses to sleep with us even when r really sick

 

[whosetalkingnow]

@bloodboughtchad My daughter turned 10 months last week and just started sleeping in her crib a couple nights ago. It's been FABULOUS. She started getting a little squirmy around 9 months and had been trying to roll onto her belly all night so I thought she might be ready for her own space. I parked a twin mattress right next to her crib and after our normal bedtime routine I put her in her crib. She screamed until she realized that I was still right next to her. I put my hand through her crib rails and held onto hers until she fell asleep. Then I got to sleep facedown with the blanket up to my neck for the first time in over a year! I've still been sleeping in her nursery next to her crib but just having my own sleep space is such an improvement. I just make sure my pillow and blanket aren't close enough to her crib for her to grab them and we're golden. She also only needed one middle of the night feeding last night instead of her usual two so maybe we'll be weaning soon as well! It will happen for you, just let your little one tell you when they're ready.

 

[stellarnaut]

@bloodboughtchad As a newborn he slept alone some night but usually he needed to be on someone’s chest. He wouldn’t even sleep laying next to us. I was so angry and stressed bc everyone would tell me to let him cry and he’d fall asleep. I didn’t want to let him cry. Hearing him cry stressed me out. I didn’t want to fall asleep with him I was scared. I didn’t want my husband to sleep with him bc I was scared. I’d yell at my husband for sleeping with the baby even tho we were both so exhausted. The tipping point was when I told myself to stay up. I sat sitting up on the bed while baby slept on my chest and I accidentally fell asleep. I felt like shit. I cried. That day I told myself it’s safer for me to intentionally fall asleep with him than it is to fall asleep on accident and possibly hurt him. That was at 1 month. We started sidelying nursing to sleep and things started getting so much easier. I was able to sleep and I was so much nicer to everyone. Eventually baby hated sleeping on our chest. Usually he’d be latched all night but sometimes I’d wake up and he was on his back beside me snoozing. People told me nursing him to sleep was a bad habit. Around 6/7 months I started pumping. I’d put him in a pack and play with the nursing pillow and let him have a bottle. He seemed to like it bc he could finish his bottle and play bs nursing where he’s typically fall asleep. Eventually that became our bedtime routine. Now at month 10 he’s sleeping all by himself in the pack and play.

Tldr: be patient and follow baby’s lead

 

[mooke147]

@bloodboughtchad Everyone told me my son would never leave our bed since we started co-sleeping at 2 months old. At about 9 months old he was super wiggly in the bed and wanting to crawl around. It started to not be a mutually beneficial situation.

I put his crib mattress in his play yard and after 2 nights he fits great in it. He used to wake me up every 2 hours to nurse and now goes 5-7 hours at night between feedings. He loves sleeping on his belly and has been going longer stretches each night. When he fusses I lay next to him for comfort and he is old enough to understand that I didn't abandon him.

 

[noscentia]

@bloodboughtchad Baby is 3 months and just before the 3 month mark she started sleeping in her own space. Before then was exactly how you described. Cosleeping out of desperation. Hubs was on the couch for the first two months of her life. She's a bigger babe so she's growing out of contact naps and sleeps in her own bed at night because it's simply no longer comfortable for her. Cosleeping definitely helped the idea of her sleeping flat on a bed type surface but my mom was the one who got her to sleep in the crib first at her weekend hangout. Once we picked her back up and brought her home she's continued since. First night we tried at home it took us about an hr but she realizes now that when she calls we will come. She also has white noise going and a microwave stuffed animal to give the illusion of cosleeping.

 

[tasha0921]

@bloodboughtchad My 8 week old…We were chest sleeping since that’s the only place she’d sleep. I think around 6 weeks it just became uncomfortable for her and she’d squirm around allll night. So one night after sleeping 1 hour in my chest (and thrashing around again) I swaddled her and put her down on our firm floor mattress…she slept 6 hours. We’ve been doing that ever since. She was never okay with just sleeping next to me but we’ll see. It’s been almost two weeks of her sleeping on our floor mattress, I somewhat miss sleeping with her but I’m right there and I missed sleeping with my husband too

Can you start in on Floor mattress with her then sneak away into your own bed with your husband? That was going to be my goal but somehow she’s okay sleeping on her own for now!

 

[bloodboughtchad]

@tasha0921 I may need to try! Is there a specific type of mattress for the floor?

 

[tasha0921]

@bloodboughtchad I use this! it was recommend to me on this sub and I love it! We will also use it in the future for guests too. We have a VERY soft mattress so I needed something better, and I’m able to sleep comfortably on it.