I hate my husband so much

[savedbygrace_777]

@mormonmartini This is what I’m wondering, it doesn’t sound like he wants to be a parent

 

[ask21771]

@savedbygrace_777 Yea i know it seems that way from what i wrote.. he just doesnt want to be a parent in the way i want. Like, he thinks its totally fine for 1.5yo daughter to watch 2hours of youtube while he tinkers with his toys. And he isnt a huge fan of healthy food. But he will live longest bc he has zero stress.

 

[novemberrainstorm]

@ask21771 I’m so sorry you have to put up with that. You deserve better. And it’s so much better for the kiddos to not watch the dynamic between you two, and to have one happy healthy stable parent. Not one shitty one dragging the other down.

Truly it sounds like his mom is saying if she had left he might not be the way he is- but he watched his dad win all his life and his shifty behaviour get tolerated. Break the cycle for your kids!!!

 

[ask21771]

@novemberrainstorm Yesss. Exactly - his dad won all his life. It’s infuriating. He played golf every day and treated his wife so rudely. I need to break the cycle but i know i’m far from perfect and so i dont want to take my girls’ dad away from them until i’m sure ive done everything in my power to change things. Like, if only i could just pop an edible everytime he pisses me off and keep my mouth shut for a bit, we could be good. Which, in fact, me writing this post helped cuz by the time i hit “post” (or submit, or whatever), the fury had passed. Thanks all for helping me not punch him in the face in broad daylight at Legoland. The sun also came out as i was writing this, interestingly enough.

 

[eliximbo]

@ask21771 Better for them to have to deal with split custody than to learn that it's okay for a man to treat them this way.

 

[seekinghispresence]

@ask21771 You said the thought of divorce is draining but take a step back and consider how draining your life currently is?

You can do this.

 

[cannie]

@ask21771 I hear you. I see you. And all i can say is, there’s a reason i didn’t divorce my ex until our kids were a little older - you’re in the thick of it now with young ones, and the extra set of hands helps. (Even when he’s being a major cockwomble most of the time.)

You feel like you need do to everything, try everything, before you can be done. For your sake, for the kids’ sake. You’re already on the mental road of being okay with it if(when) you finally do split. It’s a process. You’ve got this.

 

[ask21771]

@cannie Thank you, yes exactly this. How old were your kids when you did? And no regrets?

 

[cannie]

@ask21771 4 and 8. Zero regrets.

 

[dianag]

@ask21771 This was my ex. I had my second child with him because I wanted my kids to have the same dad. I know it sounds terrible but I never wanted the siblings split up. We lasted another year and finally left when my son was 1 and a half when he finally admitted to having an affair.

You can leave. There are good men and women out there, I found one and can’t believe I stayed for so long without this kind of support and love.

 

[ask21771]

@dianag Thank you for the reassurance. That’s not terrible at all, i am so happy i did have #2 with him, no regrets there. My two girls will always have each other. And much respect for leaving him.

 

[pastordre]

@ask21771 Your life would be so much more pleasant without him. It sounds like his only purpose right now is to be a warm body that’s present for the bedtime chaos. This phase is temporary, the kids will eventually be older where they don’t need constant supervision and hand holding and it won’t take 2 people to do dinner/bedtime.