I get so annoyed of hearing “wElL I dOnT kNoW hOw To HeLp UnLesS yOu aSk”…

R

roryrichards

New member
•wash the dishes
•give the little a bath
•clean the cars, possible even gas it
•cook dinner
•bring some flowers
•book a massage for me
•help organize
•take the kiddo out so I can nap
•dust
•anything
•put your phone down and be of assistance.

So many things. So so many things. Can you help me add to the list so I can compile them and print the shit out and put it in a little cute envelope singed and sealed just for anyone*** that makes it seem like there’s nothing they can do to help because I over compensate and just end up doing shit myself because why should I always have to ask?!
 
@mission316 Husband got annoyed at me this morning after I didn’t thank him for putting the towels and leftovers away last night.

First - they are household jobs that we BOTH SHOULD be doing

Second - and more importantly I had to TELL HIM TO DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS. Maybe MAYBE he would have gotten a thank you if he mentioned that he had put away the leftovers and folded and put away the towels AFTER THE FACT.

NO WAY was he getting a thank you after I had to follow behind him and remind him to do them!

I also told him that he had to eat at the counter now as I am sick to death of him leaving his plate/knife and fork on the couch for me to tidy up in the morning.
 
@nathan2018 My husband flipped out on me yesterday for not being grateful that he cooked dinner for our daughter. It was pasta with no protein or veggies, btw. And said"AND YOU NEVER THANK YOU FOR GETTING HER LUNCH READY FOR DAYCARE" like bro, I'm not going to thank you for making sure your daughter had food. It's okay your being a parent. Men can be truly infuriating.
 
@godisworking My husband would say that too! I would say, "Just clean the living room or something." And his catch phase would be, "Okay. What all do I need to clean in there?" Finally when our kid was like 6 months old I snapped, "What all do you need to do?? You're a grown man with working eyes. Use them and look around or are you too stupid to identify what should and shouldn't be on the floor or scattered on the coffee table?!"

"What all do I need to clean" give me a break 🙄😂 he's only said it a couple times since I snapped lol
 
@shelly I snapped on my now ex bf for this same thing when he claimed not to see things the same way I do. After bragging about his 20/20 (or better) vision on several occasions. Like you don't see the dark a** beard hair all over the white counter top, jfc.
 
@roryrichards I feel this. I always say one of two things: just look around and see what needs to be done--see dishes in the sink? Wash them. See a pile of laundry? Throw it in the washer. Stuff everywhere? Pick it up.

Orrr

We do the same routine every day. It's lunch time? Make lunch. It's nap time? Make the bottle, put the kid down. Dinner time? Figure it out instead of asking what should we do for dinner. Bath time? Get the pajamas ready. Get the bath ready.

Etc. Etc.

I don't know why we need to delegate every little task. Literally think for a second or just take a look around.
 
@ash002 It is like he has bloody blinders on. He looks at things but doesn’t see the dishes that need done, clothes that need to be folded… etc

Things he has just used he just leaves dirty. Like the highchair, you feed the baby you clean up. It isn’t rocket science!

Then here comes the anger at me ‘always telling him to do things’… well how else will things get done!?!
 
@nathan2018 He's mad because he doesn't want you to be his mom telling him what to do but he also doesn't want to be a grown up who takes responsibility to do things on his own. It's a vicious cycle.
 
@ash002 My husband apparently has way lower standards than I do. He thinks a sink full of dishes is fine, as long as there is still clean dishes in the cabinet to eat on…says he doesn’t notice crap on the floor, and he makes piles of dirty clothes everywhere (but as long as he still has clean clothes to wear, it’s not time to do laundry or pick up the dirty ones) says the kids “aren’t dirty enough” for a bath. So when i say “Look around and see what needs to be done and do it!” He says “It looks fine to me”. Ugh.
 
@roryrichards They have to be told what to do because for their entire lives, a woman has been managing things for them. So now, their brains don’t even recognize things that need to be done. They just tra la la through life until a woman alerts them to an obvious problem.

My partner and I used to fight over this kind of thing until he told me that he needs me to give him “a honey do” list. Then I realized he really meant that because he has the type of mother who does things for him to make his life easier without being asked. So he literally doesn’t know how to function without a woman managing the minutia.

It infuriates me but he’s a good one so I’ve had to accept my role as his Ruler. But it’s still absurd. They’re so helpless.
 
@savemonopolylatw2votv Sometimes I have a fight with my MIL in my head about how she raised him sometimes 😂 so infuriating.

Except I told my husband I’m not his manager. I commented I made a list. If I’m working on something, he can check that list out and start working too.
 
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