I don't know a good title

[rms13]

My step'dad' has already done bad stuff numerous times to me even when i was little (hitting me and throwing me against the stairs around ages 7 and 10) and i know this isn't as bad as that probably but i'd been awake at 2 am and he stormed updtairs to yell at me and chase me back to my room, he then woke me up at around 7:30 and now i'm forced to sit at the dinner table for what's already been several hours and he even threatened to kick me out.
This isn't a normal way of parenting teenagers i hope, right?

EDIT: after 5-6 hours of sitting at the table i texted my mother and she finally allowed me to go back upstairs for a little bit, only to find out anything of entertainment had been stripped from my room.

 

[mksamas]

@rms13 This is not normal. This is physical and emotional abuse.

Where is your mom in all this? Your dad? Any other family nearby?

If it feels safe to you, you can talk to your school counselor about exactly what is happening at home

 

[rms13]

@mksamas I have stopped going to school a month or two ago so i can't go to anything there, not like the counselor ever helped me in the first place though. And my mom just lets it happen and almost always takes his side, whilst my dad despises the guy he lives 2 countries across so not easy to run to. Most of my family lives where my dad is or i barely have any kind of bond with them.

 

[jeri17]

@rms13 This is not even close to normal. It’s emotionally and physically abusive.

Do you have anyone that is safe that you can reach out to? Extended family or friends? A teacher?

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It shouldn’t be.

 

[rms13]

@jeri17 I've stopped going to school because of the relentless transphobia i'd fased there so no teachers, and my family is made up out of people like this mostly, except for my grandma and grandpa but they're a bit tired out from caring for my brother already from when he went to live there for a bit.
And as far as friends go my boyfriend's family doesn't like me because of his sibling making me look bad.
So truly i'm just stuck here.

 

[jeri17]

@rms13 It sounds like you’re in a really shitty, unsupportive situation. I’m hoping there is a local agency that supports teens that you can reach out to?

 

[rms13]

@jeri17 Thanks for the tip but the problem is that we've done everything we can regarding that
Still we aren't being helped at all with it which really does suck but yeah, that's life i guess.

 

[rms13]

Just thought i should point out he threw me against the stairs that one time because he was "a little mad"
And that he hit me because i cracked my knuckles.
I know it's random to mention but i thought i still should, sometimes these smaller details are helpful in judging the situation or whatevs.
I'll also put in more cases like the ones mentioned above here whenever one comes to mind
- he laughed at me out loud when i wore out a skirt when i wanted to go shopping (as mentioned in some comments i'm trans so i was already really nervous doing this)

 

[garberse]

@rms13 As a parent to a trans kid (and 3 kids in general) this type of behavior from a parent (or step parent) is absolutely disgusting and terrible! He should never, ever lay his hands on you nor make fun of you. This is abuse. Period.

I see from other comments that you're family (both extended and at home) aren't going to be of much help and support to you. It's time for you to call the cops and child protective services to save yourself from this nightmare of a man.

I see that you quit going to school. There are free online resources to help you study for your GED. Also if you can get there, your local library will have study resources as well. Don't completely give up on your education.

Also, are there any LGBTQIA+ resources where you live? A center for trans kids perhaps where you can find the support you both need and deserve? My kid goes to a local LGBTQIA+ center so that she can make friends who are like her. I'm a fully supportive parent but it's important for her to also have support from other trans folks.

Side note: I'm sure you look lovely in a skirt and if he doesn't like it, he can f off. I'm here if you'd like to talk further.

 

[rms13]

@garberse Thanks
I don't think there's anywhere i can connect with other queer people my age here but i'll give it a look.
Though problem is that if i called the cops on him my mother would be absolutely pissed at me and we wouldn't be able to afford to live where we are now anymore, doesn't help that we're in the middle of preparing for a big move so i'm really in a tough spot there.
But still thanks for the support

 

[garberse]

@rms13 The straight forward answer here is that if law enforcement/CPS doesn't get involved, the abuse will continue until you are of legal age and are able to move out on your own. I know it will upset the balance of the household but your safety is more important than your mother's feelings. He needs to answer for his crimes.

I understand the housing situation. Your mother should check and see if there is any local subsidized housing available. (This is housing for low income people). It's not fair that you as a teenager have to shoulder the burdens of an adult.

 

[rms13]

@garberse Problem is that moving to any low income building is near impossible because our country is a main go to for immigrants, so all the low income housing is already full, so i don't know if i really have a choice about doing it.

 

[garberse]

@rms13 What country are you in?

 

[rms13]

@garberse I'm in the netherlands

 

[garberse]

@rms13 Oh ok. My suggestions were tailored to the US. My apologies

 

[kaitlynn]

@rms13 What country are you in? How old are you? As a person who was abused like this as a teen, with teens now of my own, you are in an extremely dangerous and toxic environment and you need to get to safety ASAP. I'm not saying run away from home (that's not going to be any safer) but you need to contact someone that can help.

You said you quit school, but if you're a minor your previous should SHOULD be able to help you still, especially if the reason you quit attending had to do with the abuse you're dealing with at home (but even if not, I don't know any school counselor that wouldn't be willing to help a former student).

PLEASE at the very least, contact your old school and tell them what's going on. If they can't help you, they have resources that can!

Please keep us updated! As a mom, I'm worried about you!

 

[rms13]

@kaitlynn Thank you for the ideas and help, though i didn't go away from school due to what's happening here, that was purely school. But i'll try to take some action then and might post a few updates (i'm an incredibly forgetful person so forgive me if i forget to post about it)
EDIT: forgot to answer, sorry
I'm 16 and live in the netherlands

 

[katrina2017]

@rms13 As a step parent myself, I can tell you this is far from normal and horrendous. I dont even send my step kids to their room let alone put my hands on them.

Do you have ANY adult in your life that you trust?? Like any aunts or uncles that could take you in? Any friends parents that would be willing to let you stay at their house??

How old are you? Just curious

 

[rms13]

@katrina2017 I'm 16 and i don't really have anybody besides my brother that i can fully trust (of the family that i know well) and he doesn't have a place of his own so i can't move in with him unfortunayely.