@olly91 You have to realize that her brain isn’t even fully formed yet, you’re the adult she’s not.
Next, try complimenting her & stopping the comparison by “well we are all different and that’s okay”. Kids brag a lot of times due to insecurities.
Also, of course kids don’t listen to the nanny who would…she’s a nanny not her mother. Also it is okay to set rules within your own home with what’s allowed and not. I have the same with my teenager regarding having people over our home.
@olly91 Have you thought about talking to her? Not exactly the same situation but my 8 year old has an 8 year old friend who lives down the road and is a lovely boy most of the time but can be a bad influence, name calling each other, leaving my younger daughter out etc. I ended up calling both boys over to me and telling them that I respect their friendship but don’t like the way they behave together at times, and that if it continues this boy won’t be able to come over anymore. I also gave examples. It’s been heaps better since that chat.
@olly91 I would tell the parent the next time she does something hurtful, and just talk to them about how her behavior is making you and possibly your daughter feel. Give her a chance to learn, but don’t worry if you eventually decide to find a new group of friends. You can be a little graceful, but don’t beat yourself up if you decide to distance. She might have to learn the cold hard way
@olly91 Tbh,I blame the parents for their kids being rude and obnoxious My mum never liked my best friend -yet she’s still my best friend after nearly 40 years-but she was never bad mannered when we were kids...I didn’t like one of my sons friends-but years later they’re still friends..Thing is,we can’t pick and chose our kids friends ..Unless she becomes a danger to your daughter,then you let the friendship take its course..Who knows,40 years down the line,you might be laughing along with her at how bratty she was as a kid..Or your daughter and her will,overtime drift apart..
@olly91 Upbringing matters a lot, coupled with peer pressure from friends, you have actually done something's to control this, like you not accepting her over until you are home, try watching them both closely and always correct your kid immediately she try doing something wrong. Talk to her and keep trying your best. A lot of us, are going through same scenario. You just need to be cognizant of the step you take because it will either make or Mar the kid. Do not forget to always see the good side of these kids and keep appraising them for that, tell them to do more of that, let them know you love them and whenever they do something good, they get a Reward or an appraisal from you.
@olly91 Agree that complimenting good behavior will go further. One thing I've learned is whispering can work so much better than saying things so everyone can hear. So maybe try whispering the classic "In our house, we appreciate the size of our home and we don't compare." "In our family, we let the birthday girl open her own gifts." "In our house, we follow nanny's instructions because she is so smart and helps teach us so much. Do you think you can try to follow her instructions?" If she says no, then it's time for her to go home. Your daughter might be upset, but if you phrase it that her friend isn't being respectful to her, then you are teaching your daughter that she & her family deserve respect. And "every home has rules, and all of our friends have to follow our rules when they visit. Even mommy's friends have to follow rules and be respectful." We've always said, "We understand that's how things arre in someone else's house, but in our house, in our family, we do this....insert whichever behavior you want....."
My mum never liked my best friend -yet she’s still my best friend after nearly 40 years-but she was never bad mannered when we were kids...I didn’t like one of my sons friends-but years later they’re still friends..Thing is,we can’t pick and chose our kids friends ..Unless she becomes a danger to your daughter,then you let the friendship take its course..Who knows,40 years down the line,you might be laughing along with her at how bratty she was as a kid..Or your daughter and her will,overtime drift apart..